She breasted boobily down the stairs

[BBlaketbv]

"She breasted boobily down the stairs and titted downwards."
A meme about how male writers sometimes oversexualize women in books.

I hadn't heard of this before my younger sister talked to me about a book she had read. Apparently it wasn't that good because the writer just couldn't realistically write the story of a female main character.
This was funny to me because she doesn't know I write stories on Literotica. I've done pretty much that in my stories.
She was a bit surprised I had never heard about that meme. But then again, she has done her studies about language and writing. She has written some stuff herself as well (not on lit afaik), so she knows just more about it.

It got me wondering as well. Does this way of writing bother people on Literotica as well, or is the just the thing you're looking for?
What other silly sentences have you come across, at Literotica or in books?
What about female writers writing about male characters?

"She femaled femininely across the room, her breasts breasting breastily. Her jeans were tighter than my asshole."

 

[TheLobster]

What about female writers writing about male characters?

“He dicked around cockily and broadly shouldered ahead.”

 

[GlennJenko]

I don't want to get into the political side of this at all, but one of the worst ones has to be in Ben Shapiro's book - "he was 215lbs in his underwear and 6'4 in his bare feet." And that is a man writing about another man.

As for the other question on if it matters on Lit. I'd say, personally, not as much but if it's egregious it does still take me out of the story. Obviously erotica is meant to be, well, erotic so focusing more on physical attributes is a given. When I'm writing non-erotic stories I barely ever mention people's bust size or whatever, but in erotica I feel it is necessary.

But nothing takes me out of a story more than those "she was 5'6 and 38-24-36" type things because I just find it so lazy. There are much better ways of getting that information across than doing that. The height part I don't have an issue with (I do it myself) but the bust-waist-hip thing irritates me to no end. Just saying something like "she had large breasts and an hourglass figure" would be a vast improvement imo.

 

[AchtungNight]

Yeah, just tell us once she’s got large breasts and leave it at that. No need to overemphasize it. Surely she has other attributes also, right?

 

[MyBareTorso]

Personally, what I write on Literotica doesn't really reflect my political and or philosophical attitudes IRL. Naked women with big breasts really turn me on, so that's what I frequently write about here. IRL, however, I believe that neither women nor men should be objectified or belittled, particularly in media and art. Sometimes our carnal desires and kinks run very much counter to how we behave and relate in our "mainstream" lives...and I firmly hold that that doesn't make us hypocrites.

 

[LilyWaters]

"She breasted boobily down the stairs and titted downwards."

I've been laughing about this line for five minutes. Outstanding. 10/10. No notes.

I do find it funny how quickly some stories get to breast size. I know it's something that is quickly noticed, but it makes me laugh when tits are mentioned in the first couple sentences, unless you're beginning in media res.

Twilight had a banger line - something about how she lay "on his sparkling chest, in his scintillating arms." Chef's kiss.

 

[intim8]

But nothing takes me out of a story more than those "she was 5'6 and 38-24-36" type things because I just find it so lazy. There are much better ways of getting that information across than doing that. The height part I don't have an issue with (I do it myself) but the bust-waist-hip thing irritates me to no end. Just saying something like "she had large breasts and an hourglass figure" would be a vast improvement imo.

I hate that too. For one, it does nothing to help me get an image of the girl in my head. I never did get the hang of interpreting those numbers. And that description is always followed with "double-D". Sorry but double-D doesn't thrill me. I'm fine with A-cup boobs if they fit the girl's body. But these kinds of writers never have small-breasted women in their stories, or they think C-cup is small.

I describe tits a lot in my stories, but I never use cup sizes, and never compare them to fruits, vegetables, or sports equipment. (Though I might have said "baseball-sized" once).

"She breasted boobily down the stairs and titted downwards."

I'm familiar with that meme. And the writing examples that come with it are truly appalling. Whenever I think I might be overdoing it on female descriptions, or describing a woman too much from a male perspective, when that isn't appropriate, I think of those and figure that I'm at least not doing it horribly. I try not to, at least.

I do find it funny how quickly some stories get to breast size.

I'll admit that I often use it as a first impression of a girl, at least once the other characters get a look. And even worse, I tend to use it as a personality trope. There are stereotypical associations between personality and breast size, and I use them with only little apology.

But often enough, I subvert them. In what I am writing now, a Group story, the girl with the biggest chest is the shy, reserved one, and the girl with tiny tits is the shamelessly sexually forward one with the most experience.

None of them breast boobily if I can help it.

.

 

[intim8]

“He dicked around cockily and broadly shouldered ahead.”

I do have a line in a story published here, something like: "he burst through the door, his hard cock arriving a fraction of a second before the rest of him did."

I sure hope that isn't one for the list.

 

[GlennJenko]

I hate that too. For one, it does nothing to help me get an image of the girl in my head. I never did get the hang of interpreting those numbers.

Totally agreed. And I'll be honest, I had to Google to make sure I'd got the "bust-waist-hip" part right because I haven't gotten the hang of it either. But also he conceptualising, yeah, I don't regularly measure women so I have no idea how big a 38-inch bust is.

And that description is always followed with "double-D".

Exactly. Certain people seem to equate "Double-D" to "big bewbz" which, while I am no expert as I do not wear bras, doesn't give anywhere near as much information as people think it does.

I describe tits a lot in my stories, but I never use cup sizes, and never compare them to fruits, vegetables, or sports equipment.

Me neither. In a first draft I tried to equate the FMC's breasts to melons but cringed while writing and reading it, so soon cut it out. In the end I just tried to describe what they actually looked like, which was "quite big and firm, roughly circular in shape, adorned with light freckles and had little sag" while another female (side) character was simply "flat-chested". Both (I think) got the point across and allowed for a picture in someone's hand better than anything else.

something like: "he burst through the door, his hard cock arriving a fraction of a second before the rest of him did."

Not gonna lie, I laughed.

 

[Yarglenurp]

If it is done well, then I'm all for it. It's erotica, I'm reading it through that lense. It's about sexual attraction, so appearances are a factor. If it was a math word problem about the number eggs in a basket, then a focus on Sally's breasts size would be out of place.

 

[Jmanchu]

I don't want to get into the political side of this at all, but one of the worst ones has to be in Ben Shapiro's book - "he was 215lbs in his underwear and 6'4 in his bare feet." And that is a man writing about another man.

As for the other question on if it matters on Lit. I'd say, personally, not as much but if it's egregious it does still take me out of the story. Obviously erotica is meant to be, well, erotic so focusing more on physical attributes is a given. When I'm writing non-erotic stories I barely ever mention people's bust size or whatever, but in erotica I feel it is necessary.

But nothing takes me out of a story more than those "she was 5'6 and 38-24-36" type things because I just find it so lazy. There are much better ways of getting that information across than doing that. The height part I don't have an issue with (I do it myself) but the bust-waist-hip thing irritates me to no end. Just saying something like "she had large breasts and an hourglass figure" would be a vast improvement imo.

That's why I go by the rule of if I describe someone, I go by what others can see or take in at first impression. No way someone would be able to see exact body measurements or exact cup-size based on first glance. Those details always come off as a little forced or clinical when stuck on there as part of their description in a story because who's checking those details in the story at that moment?

 

[Bramblethorn]

We have an "escapism vs. realism" discussion here every so often, which usually comes down to two different types of preference. Some people enjoy escapist stories where the tits are huge, the dicks are hard, everybody can fuck all night, and STIs and unwanted pregnancy aren't a thing (unless the author has a pregnancy fetish). Others enjoy stories about people who do have to deal with real-world challenges.

For the former type, it's to be expected that characters will be heavily sexualised in erotica. For the latter, it's unwanted.

As for the amount of description, again, two camps. Some readers like a lot of visual detail, others don't need it unless it's necessary to understand what's going on in the story.

Most people have their preferences on these matters and are unlikely to shift in a hurry, so the best one can do is to figure out one's own preferences and write for that.

 

[SimonDoom]

It doesn't bother me at all. If that's what turns you on, fine. But that sentence makes my eyes roll. It's goofy, not erotic. I don't know how one can get past "breasted boobily" without spitting out one's coffee.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It doesn't bother me at all. If that's what turns you on, fine. But that sentence makes my eyes roll. It's goofy, not erotic. I don't know how one can get past "breasted boobily" without spitting out one's coffee.

"Breasted boobily" was written as parody of oversexualised description; it's meant to be goofy.

 

[intim8]

Some people enjoy escapist stories where the tits are huge, the dicks are hard, everybody can fuck all night, and STIs and unwanted pregnancy aren't a thing (unless the author has a pregnancy fetish). Others enjoy stories about people who do have to deal with real-world challenges.

If I want escapist, I go visual. If I'm going to take the time to read, it's because I want characters I can relate to and activity that has at least some meaning behind it. But either way, I've always been amused by the idea that big tits are always said to be the universal default preference. I bet it is far, far from universal, even among consumers of porn and smut.

As for the amount of description, again, two camps. Some readers like a lot of visual detail, others don't need it unless it's necessary to understand what's going on in the story.

As I've written more here, I've come more to the 'less is better' side. I try to give enough description to establish a body type that the reader can fill in with their own preferred version of it, but also include a few specifics that make for a unique character. I think it is a mistake to try to create the porn experience, where you're being shown every detail.

The girl from my latest story:

She wasn't the hottest girl in school, just the prettiest. There's a difference. She dressed too conservatively to be considered hot. It only left a vague idea of her body. She wasn't fat, she wasn't too thin, her chest was not too big and not too small. But that left a lot of leeway. All I had to go on, all anybody had to go on, was her face.

Her face was damn pretty. She checked all the boxes. All my boxes, anyway. Deep brown doe eyes under dark eyelashes, a cute button nose, a wide, warm smile that she was currently using to maximum effect on me. Her mouth was just a hair too wide for her face, and it made her even prettier. Her chin had a subtle dimple, as did her cheeks. Her brown hair was done in a tight wave that tapered to two pigtail braids that faded to fine strands of lighter auburn as the last six inches of those braids were left loose.

Despite the young girl-next-door look, she had intelligence and confidence in those eyes. The braids were not childish; instead, the way she carried them, and herself, made her look young and carefree and ready to take on the world all at the same time. She was very definitely a woman, not a little girl, but a woman who had not forgotten what it was like being a girl.

Later, when she gets her clothes off, there's more, but not much more detail:

I used the comment as an excuse to look her over, hoping it looked like I was a professional who was more concerned with calculating f-stops and exposures, gauging how the light would work with those firm, round breasts, how it would pick out the relief map of goosebumps surrounding her nipples, how it would create shadows in the thick and somewhat unruly triangle of hair between her legs.
...
She walked over to where she'd set her bag down and knelt by it, her back to me. The form her body took, legs folded up against herself, the firm but delicate curve of her butt and the long, lean stretch of her back made me take a chance. I stood as she fished in the bag and snapped a picture.

 

[SimonDoom]

"Breasted boobily" was written as parody of oversexualised description; it's meant to be goofy.

I realize that. I'm responding to the choice seemingly offered by the OP: either one is turned on by this sort of writing, or one is bothered by it. I'm neither. If someone else likes over-the-top descriptions like this, I don't see it as bothersome. I'm firmly in the "have your fantasies and enjoy them" camp.

It does not bother me that men "oversexualize" women in erotic stories. It seems to me, based on a reasonably long life of experience, obvious why they would do so. I do some of that, in some of my stories, although not quite to the degree captured in this silly sentence.

The key is that always-useful phrase, "It depends." It depends on the tone and the purposes of the story.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Nobody has posted it yet, so this is the full paragraph parody.

 

[THBGato]

Others enjoy stories about people who do have to deal with real-world challenges.

"She breasted boobily down the stairs and titted downwards."

Interestingly, the top stories in the Lesbian Sex category are far, far more the former than the latter. In fact, the only one of those to really make a big deal about body shape is Beautiful, and the whole point there is that the main POV character is overweight and experiences bullying from her family because of it.

Not quite sure what my point was. Maybe that realism, and a focus on personalities over physique, gets more acclaim in that category.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Interestingly, the top stories in the Lesbian Sex category are far, far more the former than the latter. In fact, the only one of those to really make a big deal about body shape is Beautiful, and the whole point there is that the main POV character is overweight and experiences bullying from her family because of it.

Not quite sure what my point was. Maybe that realism, and a focus on personalities over physique, gets more acclaim in that category.

I've certainly found LS a friendly category for realism/low-visual-description stories, which is what I mostly write. But I think one has to be careful in going from "the toplist is dominated by realistic/low-visual stories" to "readers there prefer realism/low-visual" because there are confounding factors involved.

In particular, story length. Longer stories generally score better than shorter ones, all else being equal, because people who don't like the long stories stop reading before they get to the voting. I suspect the more realistic/low-visual stories are also going to be longer, on average, which then makes it harder to know whether their toplist success has more to do with the realism or the length. My hunch is that it's a bit of both, but confirming that would be tough.

 

[THBGato]

I've certainly found LS a friendly category for realism/low-visual-description stories, which is what I mostly write. But I think one has to be careful in going from "the toplist is dominated by realistic/low-visual stories" to "readers there prefer realism/low-visual" because there are confounding factors involved.

In particular, story length. Longer stories generally score better than shorter ones, all else being equal, because people who don't like the long stories stop reading before they get to the voting. I suspect the more realistic/low-visual stories are also going to be longer, on average, which then makes it harder to know whether their toplist success has more to do with the realism or the length. My hunch is that it's a bit of both, but confirming that would be tough.

True, but I think long stories also means more realism, more depth. The I'm pretty certain I've read 90% of the top 250 LS stories (and I've written 7 of them ;-) ) and there's nary a short jiller in there.

Indeed the vast majority, like your entries to the top list, are chapters in a long story, or part of a series of related stories, or even both. The few that aren't realistic are those that tap into the realms of fantasy - witches, vampires and so forth.

I think what the top list shows is that readers there are willing to commit the time to long stories and they are the stories that hook readers in and build loyalty.

Any stats fans out there want to do statsgasm on LS stories of length versus rating?

 

[Kelliezgirl]

This is one of those areas where writers overthink things.
Yes, as a practical matter, saying someone has DD breasts doesn't really guarantee anything absent more information.
In the world of erotica it's short hand (admittedly lazy shorthand) for "She has big breasts".

The internet "Well akshually..." crowd can moan about it all they want but most readers understand the convention.

 

[CarmineBlancheJr]

As for the other question on if it matters on Lit. I'd say, personally, not as much but if it's egregious it does still take me out of the story. Obviously erotica is meant to be, well, erotic so focusing more on physical attributes is a given. When I'm writing non-erotic stories I barely ever mention people's bust size or whatever, but in erotica I feel it is necessary.

But nothing takes me out of a story more than those "she was 5'6 and 38-24-36" type things because I just find it so lazy. There are much better ways of getting that information across than doing that. The height part I don't have an issue with (I do it myself) but the bust-waist-hip thing irritates me to no end. Just saying something like "she had large breasts and an hourglass figure" would be a vast improvement imo.

Agreed...

I do not monologue to myself when I am with a woman, but I have also never caught myself looking at a lady and evaluating the size of her breasts or have EVER felt the need to comment on the size of my dick. Why do it in a story? Unless... the catch of the story is something unusual about the size, like in a growth or gender-bender story.

When I look at a woman's breasts, ass, shape, etc... I am not calculating dimensions. I am simply enjoying what I see... and when I write, THAT is what I want to convey. Talk about the beauty of the "grabbiness" of said shapely loveliness.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I don't want to get into the political side of this at all, but one of the worst ones has to be in Ben Shapiro's book - "he was 215lbs in his underwear and 6'4 in his bare feet." And that is a man writing about another man.

As for the other question on if it matters on Lit. I'd say, personally, not as much but if it's egregious it does still take me out of the story. Obviously erotica is meant to be, well, erotic so focusing more on physical attributes is a given. When I'm writing non-erotic stories I barely ever mention people's bust size or whatever, but in erotica I feel it is necessary.

But nothing takes me out of a story more than those "she was 5'6 and 38-24-36" type things because I just find it so lazy. There are much better ways of getting that information across than doing that. The height part I don't have an issue with (I do it myself) but the bust-waist-hip thing irritates me to no end. Just saying something like "she had large breasts and an hourglass figure" would be a vast improvement imo.

Makes me wonder how much his underwear weigh and how tall are his shoes.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I hate that too. For one, it does nothing to help me get an image of the girl in my head. I never did get the hang of interpreting those numbers. And that description is always followed with "double-D". Sorry but double-D doesn't thrill me. I'm fine with A-cup boobs if they fit the girl's body. But these kinds of writers never have small-breasted women in their stories, or they think C-cup is small.

I describe tits a lot in my stories, but I never use cup sizes, and never compare them to fruits, vegetables, or sports equipment. (Though I might have said "baseball-sized" once).


I'm familiar with that meme. And the writing examples that come with it are truly appalling. Whenever I think I might be overdoing it on female descriptions, or describing a woman too much from a male perspective, when that isn't appropriate, I think of those and figure that I'm at least not doing it horribly. I try not to, at least.

I'll admit that I often use it as a first impression of a girl, at least once the other characters get a look. And even worse, I tend to use it as a personality trope. There are stereotypical associations between personality and breast size, and I use them with only little apology.

But often enough, I subvert them. In what I am writing now, a Group story, the girl with the biggest chest is the shy, reserved one, and the girl with tiny tits is the shamelessly sexually forward one with the most experience.

None of them breast boobily if I can help it.

.

38-bust
24-waist
36-hips

Bust is measures like the waist, under the boobs in inches, putting this in a book gives some information, but leaves out cup size, which is the letter, what is she a 38a, or 38j? Either way, outside of narration, it would only work in some circumstances character wise. Who outside of a tailor really needs to know a womans hip size, anyway? And yes, a C cup is small.l

 

[Djmac1031]

Nobody has posted it yet, so this is the full paragraph parody.

View attachment 2343001

Other than that last sentence, I've probably written that paragraph at least a few times.