Sexually Frustrated Committed male in So Cal

[lighte00]

Hi,
I am in a relationship that has been very sexually frustrating for the past 2 of 3 years. Is there anybody who can relate?
I am looking for somebody to talk to about this,
If you are in So Cal maybe we can also take it further . . .
Or maybe you can convince me it is a bad idea . . .

 

[frazsioux]

other considerations

Obviously, your marriage is ok, except for the sack, and well I know how that is, and I never wanted to violate the integrity of the relationship, then I haad always been curious about bisexual urges, as in my teens, I got the best bj in a park bathroom.
I was able to take care of the frustration, and went to a x rated theater,bookstore, and went to the booths to jack off.
boy I was naive, and thru the hole I saw a gal being fucked, and sucking another, then I was next. I came back, and the next day, and I got another bj, and learned it was a dude. what a turn on, and ever since I do not turn down the chance to make ends meet, but always diecreetly, and no one is hurt, which is the important, and never invite anyone to your pad, respect her!!

 

[lighte00]

thanks for the ideas

I could use some.
Actually we are not even married.
But how long ago was that with the bookstore? It doesn't sound like that type of thing would be too safe these days.
In any case, I'm actually looking for something a little more. I'd like to connect with someone, someone who knows what I am going through and I know what they are going through. I want us to crave each other sexually, and look forward to our meetings with anticipation. I want her to wear lingerie and I'll make her feel sexy, and I want to have a first kiss all over again. I want to give her as many orgasms as she can take and then some more. . .

 

[BirdsWife]

Hi,
I am in a relationship that has been very sexually frustrating for the past 2 of 3 years. Is there anybody who can relate?
I am looking for somebody to talk to about this,
If you are in So Cal maybe we can also take it further . . .
Or maybe you can convince me it is a bad idea . . .

If you're looking for the pros/cons of this, you might want to check out this thread:
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=166912

raventale's post is especially insightful.

 

[lighte00]

Very True

Thanks for the heads up on that thread. I actually have read it before and there are some great points in it. You had some excellent ones as well, I might add. Definitley something to think about.
Nobody said this is easy. . .

 

[majka]

Hey there -

I think I can relate to you on a pretty strong level here.
I'm married, have been for about 8 months, but we've been together for about 8 years. In the early years, we had 2 separations so we could figure some things out....we had some communication issues, as well as issues pertaining to sex.
We knew we had something GENUINE in each other and were 100% willing to give it our all, despite the issues. We overcame the communication problems (THAT was easy) but are STILL suffering from sexual dysfunctions. My problem (which is also his) is that I don't come very easily, and too often not at all. (I know i'm going off on a tangent here...please bear w/). This makes me frustrated (sometimes...then sometimes I don't really care) and it makes him feel inadequate. We're currently going to seek professional help to discuss the issues relating to this...

Now, on the flip side of that coin, I have sexual urges that often just linger CONSTANTLY. I'm in a perpetual state of horniness.
However, the sex I want will never be able to be delivered by him. He's VERY tame, vanilla if you will, and I've recently started to say to myself, "I'm tired of the sex we're having...I KNOW what I like, and I've put this part of me aside for TOOO TOOOOO long now...I need OTHER types of sexual fulfillment."

I went so far as to seek out a potential partner in my crime and found one. We set a potential date to get together and fulfill our fantasies....

I was chatting w/ him last week and realized that this is not something that I need to be doing. Not to myself, nor to my husband. I take a lot of pride in being a trustworthy and honest person, not to mention a person who can and will communicate what's on my mind. I relayed this info to him and he understood and told me how proud of me he was. He is NOT in a committed relationship, btw.

So - I'm still battling issues, though. I have to face the fact that we are going to seek counseling, and I can't shake this feeling (and it's a sinking one) that no matter what, I'm still going to want to live out my fantasies, preferrably with him, but that may not be possible. If it's not possible, then I compromise my sexual happiness to "do the right thing". Sex is a very big part of my life - it always has been...It is NOT a huge part of his life, however....

If there can be no resolution, I then go on to having even WORSE thoughts (separation; divorce...) but I think, "Jesus! I would separate him because he can't fulfill me?!" Hard thing is is that we are COMPLETELY and UTTERLY compatible in every other way.

I guess that's not unreasonable...is it?!

So - I would say to you, especially since you're NOT married, you can end this relationship now and save yourself any more suffering. Or, if she's as important to you as my husband is to me, ponder the idea of seeking counseling and working this out.

BUT - before you go further into the world of infidelity, ask yourself the question: "Is this the kind of person I really am or want to be?!"

(see, my dad cheated on my mom as a kid and I swore I'd never follow in his footsteps...I've been tempted so many times, but have never cheated IN PERSON on my husband/boyfriends...which prompts another question, which perhaps should be a new thread: Are phone/cyber sex cheating?

Majka.

feel free to pm me.

 

[lighte00]

feel free to pm me.

Majka,
I definitley will, Thanks.
And thanks for your insight, too.

Even though our situations are somewhat different, we are going through pretty similar things.

In terms of "is phone/cyber sex cheating?" this has been discussed a little on some other threads but I think that every relationship is different. There is no universal line that you can draw. Sometimes my opinion is that anything sexual that you know that you SO will not approve of and you deliberatley keep it from them is cheating. Of course, at other times I think about women that don't like their men masturbating. People have their individual needs that sometimes can override relationship needs (like for masturbation.) This is not usually the case however, and I would say that anything my gf does not approve of would be cheating. In our relationship, she probably would not have a problem with cyber-sex as long as I told her about it everytime, but phone-sex is probably pushing it.
Of course, I already feel like I've cheated a little since she doesn't know about this.

 

[majka]

please feel free to email me at ellen7470@yahoo.com.

I think it would be worthwhile to discuss futher...

take care, light.

steph. (majka)