sexuality?

[Ottawafun47]

Hi All,

I am 48 Married and in the last few years discovered an interest in sexual activity with other men. I guess I am trying to label or describe what this means for me.

I still have a wonderful relationship with my with and have no desire to ever leave her. Sexually we are ok, maybe once a week.

I have always masturbated, maybe more like 2-4 times a week other than the sex with my wife.

I had an opportunity a few years ago where a male friend of one my friends offered to give me a blowjob. I was horny, and open minded so accepted. He simply did just give me a blow job, asked if i liked it, then moved on. It was all very business like.

The opportunity happened a few other times and I found myself wanting to return the favour. So I began giving hand jobs and blowjobs to other guys as well as receiving them. I really enjoy doing so.

What I am trying to figure out is where that places me in this spectrum of sexuality. I have no desire to be intimate, nor do i want to ever have a romantic relationship with a guy, i just really enjoy getting off and getting a guy off. it could be a simple 1 minute BJ or an hour long massage / blow / jerk session.

Since the confinement I have not had the opportunity to play with another guy, and am looking forward to the next opportunity I get.

Really interested in what others have experienced...

 

[mab2017]

Why?

Why do you need a label for what you find pleasurable? Enjoy the men. Let them enjoy you. Go home to your wife and love her in the way you always have. A label does not change or improve anything. Be safe and be yourself. Good luck!

 

[sirsaurus]

I'm not normally one to put myself out there, but this kind of resonated with me.

I was raised by a southern baptist minister. I sometimes feel like a square peg hammered into a round hole. Any inclination I might have had towards a same sex relationship was stamped out hard and fast in my childhood and youth, before I was even aware of what was happening. Only after I went to college did I start to accept the fact that I was attracted to anything other than the female form. I'm still exploring this aspect of myself. It's tough for me, because a lot of these desires trigger a lot of shame and a slew of other negative emotions.

But I do understand the desire to engage in certain aspects of sexuality and not others. I often wonder if I'm as capable of having a relationship with a man as I am with a woman. And I know that I'm only attracted to a small percentage of men. In the same way, even though I'm attracted to a wide variety of women, there are still women that I'm not attracted to. Spectrum is definitely the right term for gender and sexuality.

I'm still trying to grow and learn about these aspects of myself but I know I don't exactly fit the definition of a heterosexual. And I'd hesitate to call myself bisexual, due to the lack of equal interest in both sexes. I recently discovered the term 'heteroflexible' and I really feels like that's fitting, even if some people find it controversial. On some level, I agree with mab2017 - it shouldn't matter what it's called. At the same time, I was happy to discover that there were people out there that seemed to feel the same way I did.

As for your desire to engage in manual and oral stimulation but not intimacy or romantic relationships, I can't speak to that since I personally can't separate the two. (I'm also researching the term demisexual, lol)