Sexual Calorie Counter.....for men.

Bindii

Literotica Guru
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Jan 9, 2002
Posts
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And the last one is...


Sexual Calorie Counter
It has been known for many years that sex is good
exercise, but until recently nobody had made a
scientific study of the caloric expenditure of
different sexual activities. Now after original and
proprietary research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the! G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 52 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up......................... 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories
Her on top.............................. 524 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 726 Calories
Donkey punch..................... 912 Calories

ORGASMIC:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years........................... . 1124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 1972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over......................... Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your spouse knocking at the door.... 5521 Calories
 
Donkey punch??

WTF is that?

Thanks for all the info. No wonder I am losing weight.
 
TWB said:
Donkey punch??

WTF is that?

Thanks for all the info. No wonder I am losing weight.

Dunno what Donkey Punch is.



Just bumping my threads so Jass's thread will move to page number two!:D
 
Bindii said:
Ouch...no Donkey punches for me

LOL Yeah, it's not the most romantic thing in the world.

Funny, with a name like "donkey punch" you'd think women would really go for it, wouldn't you?
 
Geez. *after reading wtf donkey-punching is*

I think I'll just keep exercising or removing her clothes, consentually, bra, consentually, engaging in preliminaries, Missionary, 69 lying down, 69 standing up, Wheelbarrow,
Her on top, Doggy Style, REAL orgasm, and laying in bed hugging.

Oh, and like the shampoo bottle says, repeating when finished.

:D

Anyone care to join me?
 
RawHumor said:


LOL Yeah, it's not the most romantic thing in the world.

Funny, with a name like "donkey punch" you'd think women would really go for it, wouldn't you?

Yes I can really well imagine a guy asking the girl please honey can we do a Donkey punch and her not really knowing what it is saying yes!!!!!

Ouch!!!
 
DéjàNu said:
Yes I can really well imagine a guy asking the girl please honey can we do a Donkey punch and her not really knowing what it is saying yes!!!!!

Ouch!!!

I don't think that's the kind of thing you'd actually ask for. And I don't think it's the kind of thing you'd do to a woman more than once, because I doubt she'd let you anywhere NEAR her after that first time.
 
RawHumor said:


I don't think that's the kind of thing you'd actually ask for. And I don't think it's the kind of thing you'd do to a woman more than once, because I doubt she'd let you anywhere NEAR her after that first time.

Yeah its more for your one night stand kind of guy.....:D
 
DéjàNu said:


Yes I can really well imagine a guy asking the girl please honey can we do a Donkey punch and her not really knowing what it is saying yes!!!!!

Ouch!!!


I actually think a little spanking at the right time is probably just as effective. I am not into non-consentual spanking any more than donkey punching.

Maybe aggressive tickling at the point of orgasm???

-*hehe*-
 
Cotedebeaune said:
you stole my sig and made it skinny


Liar! It took hours to perfect your signiture, it looks exactly like yours!

The shame, the shame...:D

BTW Miles is looking for a girl (just like the one in your av) for a new position in his erm company......you should apply!
 
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