sexless marriage

[Queersetti]

I was going to but you were already there being a dick to everyone. Did you immediately post your response before you saw my follow up post explaining my ideas for her?

Damn, have a little faith in humanity. Not everyone is out to be an ass like you.

If you PM Laurel, I'm sure she'd be willing to change your name to "I_piss_and_moan_alot".

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

If he's anything like the rest of us, your shit.

Why are you trolling me?

 

[Queersetti]

Why are you trolling me?

Oh, is trolling people bad?

 

[Saint Peter]

Battle of the Sexless!

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Oh, is trolling people bad?

The way you do it. You troll like girl.

 

[Queersetti]

The way you do it. You troll like girl.

Damn. I was trying to troll like you.

 

[tnman03]

I would question whether his dysfunction is due to his condition itself, or is a side effect of his medication.

If you haven't discussed this with his doctor, you should. It might be that adjusting his dosages or substituting a similar medication without the side effect may help.

^^^^^
This hit's the nail on the head as its generally the medication or combination of medications that will cause this type of problem. As to the initial question of the OP I'm certain most of us have been in a relationship or marriage where actual sex became something of the past.

There can be a host of reasons for such with none relevant to this conversation. What can you do? Have a frank and open conversation about this with your spouse if it hasn't already happened. Decide whether you stay with him or divorce him. As to the rest? Only you can decide on that and advice here is more of a debate circle.

 

[RunningJib]

Very Touching

Alrighty, I actually have a bunch of ideas ranging simple and non sexual to very sexual. These first ones aren't going to get you off, obviously, but they might help you stay connected. You can send him a text whenever you see his favorite car, hear his favorite song, what ever it is that his into to let him know your thinking of him. You can shower together, sleep naked together, or even give each other back massages- clothed or naked. Learn what both of your love languages are, it will give you both ideas on how to show the other you still care.

If his illness prevents him from getting hard, does that mean he wouldn't still enjoy being fondled or sucked? I'm assuming it would still feel good, even if he doesn't climax or even get hard? I don't know. You could discuss that you're both in it for the journey, not the destination, so if he doesn't even come close to orgasm, that it's okay. Maybe he would be willing to use his hands and mouth on you, maybe even toys. He might enjoy watching you use toys on yourself.

The possibilities can go even farther if you both considered bringing someone else into the bedroom with you. It could still include hubby. With another girl, you both could give him a total body massage. With another guy your husband could assume the role of puppet master and direct his actions.

The key to any of this is communication. Discussing this might not be easy, but there are ways to help there, too. You could do email, but I was thinking you could write each other notes. Pick up a nice notebook that you can share your desires in. Write what you want for him and you, maybe at first explaining you miss being close, and in time becoming more descriptive and explicit. You could pass the journal back and forth to each other under your pillows when you had something to share. He might surprise you and end up writing some erotica for you. Maybe reliving highlights from your past together. Seeing how he remembers things will be different from your perspective, and hopefully very hot.

I hope some of this helps or at least inspires some other thoughts that could help. ((Hugs))

My Dear, your response is very touching, well thought out and compassionate. You're a good friend

 

[Comshaw]

Work arounds are great but there are only 2 choices be you male or female.

Either you stick it out with the person is is too sick to have sex or you divorce them.

Masturbation is not cheating.

Hooking up with others to get off is.

What she said. Two options: do or do not. That being said it sounds like there are a few here who are trying to give you suggestions to help. And there are others who are just being their self centered, narcissistic, asshole selves. They are the ones who love to have fun at others expense. Such small, arrogant, insecure people they are. I'm sure you are smart enough to weed those from the rest.

I would say choose carefully and do that which you can live with. It is not mine to judge what you decide is acceptable. Which ever way is the least painful for all concerned.

I hope you find a way through.


Comshaw

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

What she said. Two options: do or do not. That being said it sounds like there are a few here who are trying to give you suggestions to help. And there are others who are just being their self centered, narcissistic, asshole selves. They are the ones who love to have fun at others expense. Such small, arrogant, insecure people they are. I'm sure you are smart enough to weed those from the rest.

I would say choose carefully and do that which you can live with. It is not mine to judge what you decide is acceptable. Which ever way is the least painful for all concerned.

I hope you find a way through.


Comshaw

And there are those who go blah, blah, blah...

 

[I_jerk_off_alot]

If you PM Laurel, I'm sure she'd be willing to change your name to "I_piss_and_moan_alot".

Meh. That's the best trolling response you got? That's sad.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Heart failure is a terrible chronic destroyer of life quality, and I am sorry for the both of you. I don’t have the sex answers but I imagine if you have a strong relationship there must be a way to satisfy the needs you are both being deprived of secondary to the symptoms.

Try to be empathetic and imagine not being able to breath, tell him you love him if you love him.

Hump his leg.

 

[Comshaw]

And there are those who go blah, blah, blah...

Yep, blah, blah, blah....like I've got 29,967 posts in 3 years. And such a witty response. Are you kin to miles perhaps? And since I pointed to no one in particular, are you feeling sensitive because it hit so close to the mark? Come on let's here some more fabulous Freudian slip come backs!



Comshaw

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Yep, blah, blah, blah....like I've got 29,967 posts in 3 years. And such a witty response. Are you kin to miles perhaps? And since I pointed to no one in particular, are you feeling sensitive because it hit so close to the mark? Come on let's here some more fabulous Freudian slip come backs!



Comshaw

You read all that into blah, blah, blah? I'm the only one the op responded to. I think the op wasn't prepared to embellish further on the fictional story he created to hit on married women over on the GLBT. But that's just an assumption.

 

[FelicityJohns]

Just wondering if anyone else is in my situation? I am still in my 40s but my husband and I have not had sex in well over 2 years. He is ill and we cannot have sexual relations any more so it is what it is.

too bad, there are people in this situation for real.