G
Guest
Guest
I don't know this comic but if this is for real it's very funny. P.
------------
The Guardian - August 9, 2004: At an early gig, growly ex-con country singer Otis Lee Crenshaw (aka comedian Rich Hall) decides to have a chat with some people in the front row. When he meets Robert, however, things take a turn for the surreal:
OLC: So, do we have anyone here tonight who's in love? You sir! That's wonderful! And is this your young lady next to you?
Robert: Er no. That's my mum.
OLC: Oh fuck. Ma'am, I assure you that in a complicated way that was some sort of compliment. And so where is your beloved?
Robert: At home with my daughter.
OLC: Ah. And how old is she?
Robert: Which one?
OLC: [pause] Which one ... what?
Robert: Five months. As in, my daughter's five months. Which one did you mean, my girlfriend or my daughter?
OLC: These smart-ass Edinburgh audiences. Anywhere else that would have been a simple fucking question. So what do you do for a living, fella?
Robert: I'm a marine biologist.
OLC: A marine biologist? Do you know that's the second sexiest profession in the world? Do you come home smelling of kelp? No wonder your wife didn't want to be with you tonight. There can't be much marine biology in Edinburgh. You can't even swim in the Leith. You can develop film in it, but you can't swim in it. So where do you live?
Robert: Spain.
OLC: Oh well then. And what do you do marine biology on?
Robert: Limpets.
OLC: I see ... Uh, what are limpets?
Robert: They're those conical molluscs that stick to rocks.
OLC: Oh, them. And what do you do to the limpets?
Robert: Actually, I sex them.
OLC: You sex limpets? For a living? How do you do that, give them some wine and put on Barry White? Tell me how you sex up a limpet.
Robert: Well, you have to kill them.
OLC: [stares]
Robert: It is a bit harsh.
OLC: Harsh?! You're a fucking limpet sex-murderer!
------------
The Guardian - August 9, 2004: At an early gig, growly ex-con country singer Otis Lee Crenshaw (aka comedian Rich Hall) decides to have a chat with some people in the front row. When he meets Robert, however, things take a turn for the surreal:
OLC: So, do we have anyone here tonight who's in love? You sir! That's wonderful! And is this your young lady next to you?
Robert: Er no. That's my mum.
OLC: Oh fuck. Ma'am, I assure you that in a complicated way that was some sort of compliment. And so where is your beloved?
Robert: At home with my daughter.
OLC: Ah. And how old is she?
Robert: Which one?
OLC: [pause] Which one ... what?
Robert: Five months. As in, my daughter's five months. Which one did you mean, my girlfriend or my daughter?
OLC: These smart-ass Edinburgh audiences. Anywhere else that would have been a simple fucking question. So what do you do for a living, fella?
Robert: I'm a marine biologist.
OLC: A marine biologist? Do you know that's the second sexiest profession in the world? Do you come home smelling of kelp? No wonder your wife didn't want to be with you tonight. There can't be much marine biology in Edinburgh. You can't even swim in the Leith. You can develop film in it, but you can't swim in it. So where do you live?
Robert: Spain.
OLC: Oh well then. And what do you do marine biology on?
Robert: Limpets.
OLC: I see ... Uh, what are limpets?
Robert: They're those conical molluscs that stick to rocks.
OLC: Oh, them. And what do you do to the limpets?
Robert: Actually, I sex them.
OLC: You sex limpets? For a living? How do you do that, give them some wine and put on Barry White? Tell me how you sex up a limpet.
Robert: Well, you have to kill them.
OLC: [stares]
Robert: It is a bit harsh.
OLC: Harsh?! You're a fucking limpet sex-murderer!
