Sex Once A Month??

[Gil_T2]

Sometimes I don't want sex anymore than once a month. I'm not getting it anywhere else and its not that my husband doesn't turn me on or I don't love him, I just don't seem to want it more often. He however thinks it his god goven right to demand it whenever he wants and it now threatening to cheat if i don't do it more often. I don't feel I should lay there and let him get on with it just to keep him form cheating when I don't want it so often.

Is this normal that I don't need sex very often?

The love in your relationship seems one sided as he is more like an over sexed 16 yo rather than an adult.My thoughts are talk to him explain your feelings and if his attitude remains TELL HIM TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR LIFE because he is only think of himself and you are not even a part of his life your just there so he dosn't have to masterbate.

What he is doing is abusing you

 

[Laura7C]

Similar situation... different view

Except that in my circumstance, I am the one who wants it more then once a month.

There are so many different things that feed into a persons sex drive. Hormones are just a piece of the puzzle. A persons mental state is also a large contributor. But I am finding that sometimes it is just the way the person is made; sort of like a genetic predisposition. Its neither bad nor good. But to make a relationship work between two sexual incompatible people can be extremely difficult and frustrating. I know this from personal experience.

As always, communication is key. But it doesn't solve problems and can sometimes fuel the fire if either party cannot open thier minds eye to how the other person feels.

Also sacrifice and cooperation are important. You (and I) both have needs. And we must find secure safe ways to fulfill those needs without undue strife to our partners. I do not really feel that 'cheating' is a very healthy option unless it is agreed upon by both parties. But then it wouldn't be cheating as the relationship would be considered 'open'.

Regardless. It is no ones ~right~ to demand sex from anyone. I really don't have any fancy answers... as I am working on this problem with my partner at this time also. We have been able to pinpoint some of the origins of his lack of sex drive to the medications he has to take to stay healthy. We also seriously consider that it is basically part of his 'personal chemistry' that he doesn't have as high a sex drive as I am. He is my best friend and I love him so very dearly. We are desperately trying to keep things in perspective and stay together. Sometimes we have good days and sometimes bad. But always we ~try~ to communicate and understand the other persons point of view. Its difficult.

When my mind was closed... I threatened to cheat. This in itself almost destroyed 6 years we had together.

Listen to your heart. Listen to your gut instincts. Do what you need to in order to remain healthy and find happiness. But it is never right to trample on someone elses soul. (or let someone stomp on yours)

I understand,
~ Laura

 

[Guest]

very well put Laura

 

[TAKEMEE]

Unregistered never came back?
Seems like she didn't need advice after all.

 

[Guest]

All the responses are great here, but I want to add another perspective.

You should think of your own emotional state. Are you really happy? Do you feel confident. Is there something else going on in the relationship.

I lost my sex drive a couple of years ago and I linked it to how I was feeling about myself and my relationship. Now I have more confidence and feel happier with my life and love my relationship the sex is great and I have my sex drive back.

Just a different take on this situation.

 

[ClubIrish]

I think thats an excellent point, the better you feel about yourself, the more you are going to want to share yourself with others. Emotional state of mind is very important.