Sex Is Creation

[Dangerouspoet]

SEX IS CREATION​

WAR MOCKS SEX;
DEATH SWALLOWS
LOVE IS CREATION.
SEX IS ITS CHILD.

“I am cold in your hands
and warm in your mouth”​

“Sex drives all mankind towards its end
and of course in that end we fall as bliss.”​

1.
We are the dream of revision. We come
in mocking to chant the breath of stars

Our eyes are strong, mine stronger.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth


2.
On the wall you climb. You are eight
in my hands. I am invisible. You cannot
hold me. I watch your veils flutter.
You will be my life someday in this arbor

Now, without sex I watch from the dark.
You grow older flow in pieces of light.
I follow your footsteps as you play
the dark monsters of oblivion.

You are my guardian angel. You kept me
alive while I flew with death and dying.
You are my pink oboe, kept me alive.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.


3.
Three years later, after the movie, you are writing
the story of your life. You are eleven;

I follow your mind as you dance naked imagine
men and legions who will follow like Cleopatra
or Katherine of Russia. You are evil too, I love it.

I follow your mind as you dance. I am your hero
I have no name, no face, no magic. I am there.

I write poems. I live in Ireland. I know your mind
and your wisdom. You are the edges of my skin
where I will grow with the ages of miracles to sin
in the balcony of your pleasure. I am your skin.

When you breathe, I am your lonely hope.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.


4.
At 16, you dance, ride the oceans and it waves
You’ve had many lovers. You laugh at being
such a coy delicate camellia filled with idols,
you pretend to pray for the ocean as your hands
find the center of your sex, and make it perfect.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.


5.
You are 18, the maps of pleasure are drawn
where you drift. Your teachers, mentors are
watching. They wander in your lips and you
do not release them. Nothing will harm you.
I am now your angel, making your wings
to risk my own desire, raising your arms
the triumphant is truth as it dries on our skin

Hidden you are sought. One older man watches
when you are full, you stop, chant your mantra
switch your hands and find the center.

I watch from a corner. You cannot see him.
He speculates on the fingers; you push
from inside and out, the mercy doth slide

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth


6.
You are married. You forgot me.
I watch from the outside of the church.
Your fathers gather on the beach
in a make believe celebration.
They don’t know I will claim you.
No. You claimed me first.
I don’t understand why you married.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.


7.
Years later, divorce, so much sadness, children
are scattered and the ache is almost death.

We were turmoil and disease cured
by that penultimate sex and its warriors.

I am cold in my dying;
love slithers in my heaven;
I hear last words of the dead.

No war, no sense of dread, nothing exempts
us from the leaves of our living

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.
​

Sean Farragher
http://seanfarragher.com

 

[wildsweetone]

hi Sean,

are you wanting a critique for this poem?

 

[Dangerouspoet]

I'd like your response to it.

Critique? If you want? I posted it as a finished poem, but I suppose I can take your criticism. Now, you have me curious. Sean

 

[wildsweetone]

hi Sean,

okay, here's my thoughts. firstly, you are way beyond my skill level in writing so what i say might be of no use to you. i'm not sure about your punctuation, there seem to be some full stops and commas missing and there's a couple of mistakes i've put in bold.

is there a need for the word 'almost' in 7 line 2?

i like the way this poem moves through time. i am going to need to read it several more times before i understand it fully i think, if i ever do understand it. sometimes i think it almost makes sense to me and then i realise that parts still don't.

maybe other poets will jump in and comment too.

thanks for posting your poem, i'm looking forward to reading more.



also, if you want to 'publish' your poems on Literotica, you need to do that through your submission area. click on the Log In Link click on 'submissions', click on 'submit', click on 'submit poem', and fill in the form. wait 24 hours (usually) and your poem will be published for all to see and will show up on the New Poems Page. you can choose to have votes on or off, and to have personal comments on or off - you'll see those options on the form page.

hope that helps.

SEX IS CREATION​

WAR MOCKS SEX;
DEATH SWALLOWS
LOVE IS CREATION
SEX IS ITS CHILD.

“I am cold in your hands
and warm in our mouth”​

(and warm in your mouth")

“Sex drives all mankinde(mankind) towards its end
and of course in that end we fall as bliss.”​

(fall or fail?)

1.
We are the dream of revision. We come
in mocking to chant the breath of stars

Our eyes are strong, mine stronger.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth


2.
On the wall you climb. You are eight
in my hands. I am invisible. You cannot
hold me. I watch your veils flutter.
You will be my life someday in this arbor

Now, without sex I watch from the dark.
You grow older flow in pieces of light.
I follow your footsteps as you play
the dark monsters of oblivion.

You are my guardian angel. You kept me
alive while I flew with death and dying.
You are my pink oboe, kept me alive.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.


3.
Three years later, after the movie, you are writing
the story of your life. You are eleven;

I follow your mind as you dance naked imagine
men and legions who will follow like Cleopatra
or Katherine of Russia. You are evil too, I love it.

I follow your mind as you dance. I am your hero
I have no name, no face, no magic. I am there.

I write poems. I live in Ireland. I know your mind
and your wisdom. You are the edges of my skin
where I will grow with the ages of miracles to sin
in the balcony of your pleasure. I am your skin.

When you breathe, I am your lonely hope.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.


4.
At 16, you dance, ride the oceans and it waves
You’ve had many lovers. You laugh at being
such a coy delicate camellia filled with idols,
you pretend to pray for the ocean as your hands
find the center of your sex, and make it perfect.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.


5.
You are 18, the maps of pleasure are drawn
where you drift. Your teachers, mentors are
watching. They wander in your lips and you
do not release them. Nothing will harm you.
I am now your angel, making your wings
to risk my own desire, raising your arms
the triumphant is truth as it dries on our skin

Hidden you are sought. One older man watches
when you are full, you stop, chant your mantra
switch your hands and find the center.

I watch from a corner. You cannot see him.
He speculates on the fingers; you push
from inside and out, the mercy doth slide

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth


6.
You are married. You forgot me.
I watch from the outside of the church.
You fathers gathered on the beach(Your fathers, or Your father's)
in a make believe celebration.
They don’t know I will claim you.
No, you claimed me first.
I don’t understand why you married.

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.


7.
Years later, divorce, so much sadness, children
are scattered and the ache is almost death

We were turmoil and disease cured
by that penultimate sex and its warriors.

I am cold in my dying.
I am love in my heaven
I am the last words of dying

No war, no sense of dread, nothing exempts
us from the leaves of our living

I am cold in your hands and warm in your mouth.
​

Sean Farragher
http://seanfarragher.com

 

[Dangerouspoet]

Thanks

Thanks for your typo corrections. I need to be less sloppy when it comes to putting my work out there. There is no excuse for it. Mankinde was intended as 17th century spelling, but then I decided if most people see it as a mistake, I could forget my alternate spelling. Almost is intended. It is not death, but almost death, or that space between life and death. I appreciate your comments. I especially appreciate your directions for submitting work.

Sean

 

[wildsweetone]

Thanks for your typo corrections. I need to be less sloppy when it comes to putting my work out there. There is no excuse for it. Mankinde was intended as 17th century spelling, but then I decided if most people see it as a mistake, I could forget my alternate spelling. Almost is intended. It is not death, but almost death, or that space between life and death. I appreciate your comments. I especially appreciate your directions for submitting work.

Sean

you're welcome.

i think if you keep the 'mankinde' (i did assume it was old spelling) then do you think there is a need for more spelling in that same language (even if only within this '“Sex drives all mankinde(mankind) towards its end
and of course in that end we fall as bliss.” sentence)?

 

[Dangerouspoet]

I agree, which is why I changed the spelling. Thanks Again

 

[Tzara]

Critique? If you want? I posted it as a finished poem, but I suppose I can take your criticism. Now, you have me curious. Sean

Hello, Sean, and welcome.

I also am curious. If you have "posted [this] as a finished poem..." why did you not post it to the standard Literotica database of stories, instead of starting a thread here? Posting to the standard forum would probably mean it would be viewed by many more people that will see it here. Also, the comments you would get would be typically of the "I liked this" or, less often, "I didn't like this" type, which seems to be what you are looking for.

 

[Dangerouspoet]

I understand the system now.
thanks

sean