Sex description

[UncleWayne]

I’m struggling to describe a sex scene where a male is laying over a female and pumping his cock in and out her pussy.

 

[RejectReality]

Sights. Color rising in her cheeks. Her breasts quivering from his thrusts. Sweat beading on her forehead. A sheen of sweat on her skin.
Sounds. The clap of colliding flesh. Her whimpers rising in pitch. Their cries echoing back from the walls. The bedsprings creaking. The headboard tapping the wall.
Emotions and sensations. How tight she is or how deep he's getting. Skin growing slick with sweat. His excitement building as he realizes she's about to come. Softer emotions obviously, but the rest of this is dirty, so...

The way you get past the monotony of humping is to go beyond the pure physical mechanics of it.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I’m struggling to describe a sex scene where a male is laying over a female and pumping his cock in and out her pussy.

Didn't you just do that?

-Annie

 

[SimonDoom]

Like RejectReality, I'd recommend adding sensations to the experience. Bring all of them into play: sound, sight, touch, smell.

Also, introduce some dialogue.

Make the sex scene more than just a sex scene, but a dramatic part of the story, the culmination of a slow seduction. What does the sex mean for the participants?

Along those lines, describe the interior thoughts of one or more of the participants.

Alternate description, action narrative, interior thoughts, and dialogue, and you'll draw it out in a way that can seem natural and integrated into the story.

Introduce something new and unexpected. For instance, maybe the man has always thought of the woman as uptight, but now that they are having sex he experiences her wild side, and he loves it. Describe how he feels about that. Describe what the woman is doing in detail that makes her seem wild to the man.

 

[Pabiporffor]

You can't go wrong with a good cliché such as "churning butter" or the ever reliable "piston motion" Perhaps link it to a steam engine. Pendulums are a good fall back too as they swing back and forth. Think about any back and forth motion, sawing a plank of wood is a good one, knocking in a nail, or trying to unblock the sink.

 

[Britva415]

Didn't you just do that?

-Annie

Nah, the word he’s looking for is “missionary”

 

[kitmarlowe]

Nothing sexier than the phrase "a female" so definitely keep using that

 

[ElectricBlue]

or trying to unblock the sink.

Yeah, that'll do it!

 

[lovecraft68]

Nothing sexier than the phrase "a female" so definitely keep using that

That's hawt!

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I swear, these "Help needed" posts just keep getting better and better.

 

[lovecraft68]

I swear, these "Help needed" posts just keep getting better and better.

What I don't understand with this one is the OP has 56 stories posted here.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

What I don't understand with this one is the OP has 56 stories posted here.

But did he post erotica or porn?

 

[Britva415]

But did he post erotica or porn?

Maybe neither, if he never described any sex

 

[lovecraft68]

But did he post erotica or porn?

 

[UncleWayne]

I was trying to improve this passage.

The grin on Mary’s face told me how much she enjoyed being fucked. With my hands supporting my body, as I laid on top of her and pumped my cock in and out of her.

 

[lovecraft68]

I was trying to improve this passage.

The grin on Mary’s face told me how much she enjoyed being fucked. With my hands supporting my body, as I laid on top of her and pumped my cock in and out of her.

This last part needs help.

Maybe "As my hips moved in time with hers, raising into my descending thrusts"

Or some crap like that.

 

[jimmyhedo]

I’m struggling to describe a sex scene where a male is laying over a female and pumping his cock in and out her pussy.

describe the man in a plank position. muscles firm, back straight, and does push ups and rams his cock like a piston....

 

[jehoram]

Also, introduce some dialogue.

Make the sex scene more than just a sex scene, but a dramatic part of the story, the culmination of a slow seduction. What does the sex mean for the participants?

Along those lines, describe the interior thoughts of one or more of the participants.

Ah, the missing ingredient in most erotica. People communicate and have interior thoughts, which moves the sex above basic rutting. Thanks for pointing that out, Simon.

 

[DreamingOfMyEx]

"erotica or porn?"

Maybe neither, if he never described any sex

Wow, and I've been getting turned on all these years thinking I was reading erotica, but apparently wasn't.

Silly how the mind can play tricks on someone, isn't it?