Sex.. Boring???

[CuriouslilQT]

Lately I been wondering a lot about how sex is when you been married for a long time. The idea of being with one person can.. I guess get boring after a while or can't it? I am very sexually and will try different things but there are some limits. =*). But does sex get better / worse and what can someone do to make it last and well not ever have to wonder about getting it better some where else??? Any real life experiences will help!!!!!

 

[lilfrk]

I've been with my Man for 14 years. We went through a hard time but it was because of me dealing with issues of being molested and had nothing to do with him. After I worked through that, I'd have to say the sex has gotten better over time. We talk more now and are more honest. We are comfy with each other and it helps a lot. I have a hard time imagining doing the things I do with him, with another man.

 

[Guest]

 

[MR.GGG]

21 years with my wife (who blew a cerebral aneurysm last Christmas eve and is, alas, no more) and we couldn't keep our hands (and everything else) off each other. It likely sounds gross to some of you young bucks but we still liked to do it wherever and whenever we could. In dark parks, on the beach, in the car, up the CN Tower....anywhere / anytime!! It kept the spark alive. Not only was there huge love but she was my very best friend...all that and cute as abug and sexy as hell. I could have "suffered" through at LEAST another 30 or 40 years of that. Believe me when there's love, friendship, just plain raw horniness and a bit of imagination...ya don't get BORED with each other. On the contrary. It just seems to get better and better.

Missing her.

 

[sabbathstorm]

I've been with my partner for about eight years and our sex life is anything but boring. Our sex life has definitely gotten better since we've been together. I've become a lot more comfortable with myself as a sexual being and have become a lot more experimental in the bedroom. We don't follow a routine but instead go with what feels good. That might mean a night of all oral or swinging off the chandeliers sex

 

[ynattirb]

So what's the secret?

To all of you whose sex life gets better and better, how have you done that? Any tricks? Advice? Any words of wisdom for those of us who aren't that lucky?

 

[sabbathstorm]

Keep the lines of communication open. Freely talk about fantasies while reassuring your partner how much you want them to be involved in them. Be daring and adventurous...do things you wouldn't normally dream of. Have fun and go parking Don't let yourself fall into a routine. Seduce your partner or make the first move to initiate sex (if that's something you don't normally do).

 

[kyndig314]

I think it would be easy to give the politically correct answer that the sex definitely gets better with time, but I don't think it is as simple as that. I have been married for 10 years and we have experienced our ups and downs (no pun intended) in all aspects of our relationship. The one thing I have learned is that keeping things fresh requires a lot of hard work.

When you are involved with a new partner, there is the excitement off the chase and and all of the anticipation of experiencing something new (and the nervousness that comes with it) that carries over into the bedroom. Sex is naturally exciting.

Obviously, that aspect is not present in a long-term relationship. It becomes real easy to take sex for granted - almost a household chore (throw in becoming a parent and there is even less time for sex)!. But once we realized we were in a rut, we made an effort to spice things up and this is where I think sex can actually get better with time. Sex can be a lot more fun when your partner trusts you and is willing to experiment with you. You have to work at that trust, so that your partner will open up to you without fear of embarrasment, etc.

So, does sex get better with time? Well...it depends. It can if you have a relationship centered on trust and communication (and are willing to put in some work). If not, it can easily get boring.

 

[CuriouslilQT]

Thanks Guys...really did assure me on that..honestly I dont think my husband will have a problem with that.

 

[MissTaken]

I believe that in long term, healthy relationships the two must grow together emotionally, cognitively and sexually.

The love you made on your wedding night should evolve with your the love you feel.

Slowly, fantasies can be reality. Trust blooms as does your ability to please one another in new and different ways.

Of course, what do I know? Not much as I have not experienced such a relationship.

Just my humble 2 cents!

 

[armyjim_2000]

This is a damn good thread...

It IS work to keep it fresh and new! After 10 years, there is the inevitable let-down..."Dear, I had a hard day...can't we just cuddle?" and "Honey, I'm beat...how about a night off?" do end up showing their ugly faces in the sex department. Real life...don't it suck?

While discussing fantasies is a good idea, when your partner is kinda straight-laced, it makes for a difficult time prying them out of her. I guess it's just a matter of working through it...keep plugging away (no pun intended, of course).

By the way, Mr. GGG...that ain't gross...a woman like that is rare indeed, and I can only hope that my relationship can be as good as that after that many years...you have my condolences...

Sorry; this isn't really my thread, but I accidently stumbled across it, and had to throw my two cents in...

 

[marksgirl]

After 16 years of marriage I would have to say that my sex life is better than I could have ever imagined! Again I think it is a matter of trust and of being adventuresome. I have allways talked to my partner about what I want (my fantasies) and have him tell me his wants. To me it's not work, we just have to much fun for me to call it work.

 

[schatz]

Sex does not have to become boring or routine after a certain amount of years. I have been with my wife for 13 years and I would say the sex is better. Key factor is communication. Do not be afraid to discuss wants and needs with one another and do not be afraid to try new things. Some people may become satisfied or comfortable with routine and some peeps may just be afraid to ask their partner for something. You may feel like an idiot talking about some things with your partner but hey,,,,who better to be an idiot with?

 

[mayi]

i wish sex was that good in my house....i can't get him to try new things....one day

mayi

 

[CuriouslilQT]

Mayi????

Why is it that he doesnt want to try new things..I am kind of like that...but if well my boyfriend pushes me hard enough I go for it ..just to test the water...and well he is my first in a lot of things...so testing it with him is great especially since we both have a lot of feelings involved. But still curious on why he doesnt????????????