sex at work.... BUSTED!!

[needs2ride]

ok, so i am a bartender and over the course of about 2 months i've been getting reeeeeally close to someone who comes in. everynight after work, we turn the lights out so that nothing but the bar decoration lights are on and the one cooler. we normally will sit at the bar, drink a beer, have major makeout sessions and twice we've moved it to a pool table and had sex. wellllllll, last night I was off of work but the guy i've been seeing went up and hung out with my boss and her husband. my boss was bartending. her husband, we'll call him "Mike" looked over at my guy and says "hey, you see those camera's? well, they WORK" my guy said "yeah, im gonna spray paint those cameras" laughing of course. well, mike, the managers husband, looks at my guy and says something to basically let my guy know that they have alllllllready seen everything, (sex, kissing, sucking, you name it) well now i am sooooooooooo embarrassed. im actually considering not even going back to work, im that embarrassed. my concerns are A. that she'll fire me for staying after hours B. why would they be looking through the security tapes???? C. they seen me and my guy during private moments and they all probably sat around and gawked at the tape(s). so what do you guys think i should do.....?? i'd appreciate any imput. signed: BUSTED lol

 

[silverwhisper]

OK, a few questions:

1. they told the guy, not you. have the two of you discussed this, how to handle it, if they said anything about, er, disciplinary action?
2. security cameras are generally aimed at the registers and entrances/exitst. given the locations of the cameras, what could they really have seen?
3. remember that on security cameras, there's no audio, generally.

i can't help thinking this sounds like the beginning of a lit story, actually.

ed

 

[needs2ride]

yeah, they told the guy but i just can't help but think its coming to me next. i don't work again til thursday and im soooo afraid of my reaction. im not sure whether to just acknowlege it and tell her it won't happen again OR walk out crying in embarrassment lol. i discussed it with my guy last night on the phone (when he told me of the conversation with the managers husband) and even HE is saying that i could very well be in trouble for hanging out after hours, at least. something about ABC regulations, blah blah blah. i can see where they would veiw me as a liability because of the ABC Board (alcoholic beverages commission). your right, this down sound like a nice beginning to a good lit story, i thought about that last night when i was laying in bed lol. me and the guy have agreed to take our action elsewhere, just have to figure out where. he's single but with snotty roomates who will not let him have guests over.... but i am married. so can't go back to my house. ahhhhhhh what a tangled web i've wove

 

[silverwhisper]

OK, so there's a bunch of possible problems. i honestly think your best bet is to go to the manager, tell her that it was a really big mistake and apologize profusely. don't go into it any further than that. i believe she can fire you for violating ABC regs, since that threatens her liquor license, and there's obviously evidence (those tapes are almost certainly date/time-stamped).

what i propose:

1. ask her to consider destroying those particular tapes, since they do involve evidence that threaten the liquor license. you and she should both be present for the destruction of the tapes: this way, both sides know it's done. their continued existence represent a threat to her business.
2. if she's willing to keep you on, apologize profusely. she'll probably give you lame-assed shifts like double tuesdays or something.
3. i don't know the nature of your marriage, but if something should be said, that might not be a bad idea, esp since now other people have evidence of infidelity.

ed

 

[Treeview]

If you have to swallow a frog, grab the biggest one first

Talk with your sweetie first. Get a plan worked out. No lies or coverups. It does sound like you're busted.

Get hold of your boss before your next shift. Ask to set up a private meeting in the office. Let them know that you didn't mean to make any trouble for them. Apologize and hang your head. Mea culpa... On one level it could make trouble for them and you. On the other hand, it could be a laugh. Hopefully the latter.

If you don't talk with them before they ask you to talk, you'll be at work with an elephant that everyone sees but no one wants to talk about

 

[needs2ride]

ok, here's a thought, WHAT IF they don't know anything in particular, because it was fairly dark. maybe they just seen some kissing and hugging. if i go to them apologizing and stuff, then that WILLLLL make them want to look closer at the tapes kinda like "wow, what is she hiding? lets find out" lol

 

[Lynxie]

ok, here's a thought, WHAT IF they don't know anything in particular, because it was fairly dark. maybe they just seen some kissing and hugging. if i go to them apologizing and stuff, then that WILLLLL make them want to look closer at the tapes kinda like "wow, what is she hiding? lets find out" lol

Not if you're just apologizing for being there after hours. I agree that confronting your boss before she confronts you is the best move. You were there after closing, and that's what could get them in trouble with the ABC board.

 

[DevilsAngel369]

Not if you're just apologizing for being there after hours. I agree that confronting your boss before she confronts you is the best move. You were there after closing, and that's what could get them in trouble with the ABC board.

I'm not an expert in such situations, but I agree with lynxie that it would be better to have a chat with your boss. this way you have an advantage in that "you were taking responsibility for your actions"

 

[Eilan]

why would they be looking through the security tapes????

Why wouldn't they be looking through the security tapes? My husband's employer makes extensive use of video tapes, and he has to review them periodically, more often if there's an issue in which the information on the tape can be used as evidence.

I agree that confronting your boss before she confronts you is the best move.

Yup. Just own up to it. They obviously know something's up. I should think that, at this point, getting fired would be the least of your worries.

 

[HornyHenry]

No problem

You can do almost anything you want to in a business with closed and locked doors. If it is not open to the public, there is no problem with any authorities.

And your boss would have seen that you are trustworty and wasn't messing with the assets of the bar, so he will feel good about having you for an employee!

The boss didn't seem upset with the after-hours activities. If he was, he would have TOLD YOU! He probably enjoyed watching it and wouldn't mind seeing more. If he doesn't want you to do it there and then, he will tell you.

Since you know that he knows, it might be a good idea to talk to him the next time you see him, admit it, plead for forgiveness, and see how he reacts.

I have seen and heard of a lot of things going on in bars. This is not the worst. One bar I used to hang out had a curving bar with a stool in the corner by the wall, in the center of the bar. It was usually dark there. One time, an ex-cop fucked a woman right there on the stool, with her seated with her skirt raised, and him standing in front of her. There were always people hugging, kissing, talking closely, etc, so no one noticed. So, your thing wasn't so bad.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

It seems to me that if they were going to fire you, they would have done it prior to you being able to post the scenario here.

I would stop having any intimate relations at your place of work, obviously, and then let sleeping dogs lie. If it gets brought up again in the same sarcastic manner that you mentioned above, just say something about marketing those tapes for some extra profit at the bar.

Basically, because you've ceased the activities at the bar you're already letting them know that you know you made a mistake, or, a few mistakes. And, by joking about it yourself you're also letting them know that you're not ashamed of it and that you can laugh at the situation the same way they should be.

After you've lightened up the situation just leave the whole damn thing alone. It's already out in the open so it's not like you can be guilted into anything.

 

[needs2ride]

i think i like Halo n horns idea.... as far as making light of it and hope that they are cool with it. it was the managers husband who mentioned everything to my guy, so the manager is a woman...... a new manager who is on a damn power trip right now. if the manager was a guy, he'd probably be selling the tapes lol my hopes are that her husband will ease the situation and tell her to lighten up if, in fact, she pissed about it.

 

[fgarvb1]

Ok.

You said you worked there.

How did you not know about the cameras?

I you are still working there...you don't have a problem.

 

[bertrande]

You did the wrong thing and abused your employers trust - stand up, face up be honest and apologise at least then you may regain some of their trust. You are not 12 years old you are a married woman cheating on her husband and you have used your employers.

You also need to sort out your marriage pronto as people talk.

 

[Cathleen]

You did the wrong thing and abused your employers trust - stand up, face up be honest and apologise at least then you may regain some of their trust. You are not 12 years old you are a married woman cheating on her husband and you have used your employers.

You also need to sort out your marriage pronto as people talk.

I totally agree here. Your actions were wrong in the business sense. The ABC takes 'after hours' seriously. They don't bend and your employer expects certain behavior from you. You were wrong, admit it, take any consequence metted out and don't put someone's business in jeopardy again. Be adult and talk with them before your shift Thursday - not only is it the mature thing to do it is also the right and responsible thing.

 

[chrk1]

re: busted

ok, here's a thought, WHAT IF they don't know anything in particular, because it was fairly dark. maybe they just seen some kissing and hugging. if i go to them apologizing and stuff, then that WILLLLL make them want to look closer at the tapes kinda like "wow, what is she hiding? lets find out" lol

most likely if your boss were going to take disiplinary action, or fire you, he/she would have done so already. sounds as if they were just having some fun at your expense. most likely, they didn't see enough to know for sure how far you went. if i were in your place i would put it out of my mind and continue as if there were no problem. because there may not be one, unless you create it. then from my experence with camers, whitch is extensive, the lighting needs to be pretty good to tell whats going on. out of fear you could create a problem that wouldn't otherwise exist. i realize this may be too late to do you any good but someone with a similar problem may read this.

 

[silverwhisper]

what ever happened here?

ed

 

[bertrande]

what ever happened here?

ed

I've wondered about this myself .