Seven Things Observed While Mowing

29. Get your son to do it and you can stay inside drinking lemonade, looking out the window and pointing to places he misses.
 
Corollary to Number 6: When you finally do run out of gas, it is at the farthest point from the gas can.
 
30. No matter where you stop on the lawn during mowing, fire ants will invade your shoes.
 
No matteer how often you mow the lawn, your neighbors will always complain that you haven't done so often enough.

Cat
 
SeaCat said:
No matteer how often you mow the lawn, your neighbors will always complain that you haven't done so often enough.

Cat
Corollary to Cats: The wife will complain that you don't mow the lawn often enough.
 
Zeb_Carter said:
Corollary to Cats: The wife will complain that you don't mow the lawn often enough.

Corollary to Zeb: Husband will say the lawn looks fine, even though it now takes machetes to reach the front porch.
 
<<<<<Was told by someone very hot that it's sexy to watch me mow.
 
I love to mow my lawn when the weather is nice. (Which eliminates three of Miami's four seasons: Monsoon Season, Hurricane Season, Humidity-So-Thick-It-Has-a-Deep-End-and-a-Shallow-End Season, and Tourist Season, also known as Mowing Season. You'd love it here during mowing season, even if you had to mow.

Why do I love to mow? Because I'm in advertising. Mowing the lawn is the only work I do that meets these criteria:

1) I can tell when it's almost over.

2) The end result leaves the world a little nicer than before the work was done, instead of the reverse.

3) No one else is entitled to an opinion. If I mowed lawns for clients, I'd expect comments afterward like, "This is okay, but I'd like to see a version that's cut about half an inch higher."
 
glynndah said:
Corollary to Zeb: Husband will say the lawn looks fine, even though it now takes machetes to reach the front porch.
That's cuz I'm wanting it to go to seed! Honest! ;)
 
glynndah said:
Were they lazing in the hammock at the time?
No, it was when I was mowing it b/c soon to be ex husband wouldn't and base housing office told us we had to. My then friend and now Ex GF thought I was super sexy mowing the lawn. Maybe I can seal the deal and get me a new GF if I go mow my new lawn? What do you think?
 
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