Seriously seeking your opinion

[GiggLeGasm]

This thread has so many good points and truths. Many hit home with me, just don't know how to fix them.

From my point of view I still think part of the problem with women having orgasms is man not wanting to put the work in foreplay. I may have said it before but there is a group of men trying to condition thier slave/subs/wives/girlfriends to cum on command with little or no foreplay. Men don't seem to like foreplay as much as women need it. I got the distinct impression they wanted to be able to cum on command. also with nor foreplay. Hey lets have sex tonight, ok lets. Cum and she does, ejaculate and he does, end of sex. There is also a man who has denied his wife/slave orgasm for over a year. He has her convinced she is happy. That's crazy. I pissed him off so he banned me from the thread and deleted my post. Then in a pm I told him he was just mad because he couldn't control me. I don't even want to repeat what he said back. I deleted his whole conversation with me. Any man who would deny his wife/slave orgasms for over a year and brag about it is not a man I'd want to meet.

For the sake of discussion, why assume that the man should put all the work into the foreplay? I can see if there is still a chase - but once you're both engaged in the relationship, I think it is up to both people to express what they need and make sure it happens.

Perhaps the reason some women need more foreplay is because they've not enjoyed the excitement of anticipation.. they haven't allowed to vision to grow in their minds. If you spend the morning surrounded by his scent - lead into the afternoon, your mind filled with images of what he'll look like as he pushes your thigh open and aligns himself with entry, it's foreplay. He never actually had to show up for that part - but your body doesn't know that

As far as someone being annoyed that you told him he can't control you - He's probably thinking that he never offered to.

 

[suckonsimon]

For the sake of discussion, why assume that the man should put all the work into the foreplay? I can see if there is still a chase - but once you're both engaged in the relationship, I think it is up to both people to express what they need and make sure it happens.

Perhaps the reason some women need more foreplay is because they've not enjoyed the excitement of anticipation.. they haven't allowed to vision to grow in their minds. If you spend the morning surrounded by his scent - lead into the afternoon, your mind filled with images of what he'll look like as he pushes your thigh open and aligns himself with entry, it's foreplay. He never actually had to show up for that part - but your body doesn't know that

As far as someone being annoyed that you told him he can't control you - He's probably thinking that he never offered to.

"The excitement of anticipation" - as ever, GG, you have a wise [and hot!] insight here. And you suggest the guy doesn't necessarily play any kind of sexually pro-active part in setting that off in a woman. It kind of poses the question for you, Dylan: "What is it about me, and the way I am with her, which sparks 'the excitement of anticipation'?" Some of the answers to that question, I bet, have nothing to do with sex as a man perceives it. I recall a couple of months back my wife and I had a delightful day together which involved some hard work [gardening] as well as a half-day trip to somewhere lovely. Lots of exchange between us, as I recall only minimal flirtation. Come that night I had hardly kissed her, then a couple of fingers getting her glistening while I grazed her neck with my teeth and, wow, she was building. She got into so much thrashing that I had a job to keep my connection with her through the whole of a long loud orgasm on my hand. We were both quite shocked as well as delighted. But on reflection, it must have been GG's 'excitement of anticipation' at work in her all day, even though she had not given me any significant outward expression of it.

To finish my story for what it's worth: I know that when my woman has that kind of a big O she really isn't looking for another one. So I took the opportunity of getting in there and shagging her like crazy without any thought to her 'build' to another O or not; just all for my own pleasure. And that really pleased her! She was 'free' to be the passive recipient of my grunting fury so 'just do it'.

 

[KinkyPan]

Is it possible her sex drive just isn't as high as yours? Some people just don't get horny as often, and when the amount of sex available is greater than the amount you actually want, people can develop a sort of "meh" attitude about it. No desire is building because there isn't enough time for it to develop. A mild interest develops, is immediately sated fully, and the cycle starts all over. You never get really famished when you're getting snacks every two hours.

Does she ever initiate sex? Ever? Does she seem more enthusiastic when one of you has been away for a long period of time?

I've been with partners whose sex drives weren't as high as mine, and our dynamic often ended up similar to your description of your sexual relationship with your wife. They would have sex to please me, but not be really into it because they just weren't particularly horny to begin with, and part of their minds were on other things because, not being particularly horny, sex wasn't something they were really enjoying in the moment but almost a chore, albeit one with pleasant sensations, that they were doing purely to make me happy. Could this be what's happening with your wife?

It could also be that she's a little insecure. Maybe she doesn't know what to say or do that would please you, and she really wants to please you, so she lets you take over figuring that that way you'll please yourself. Her panic over that need-to-pee feeling makes me wonder just how inexperienced she is. It could be that she hasn't reached a stage in her sexual development where she's sure about what she wants or confident that she can take an active role that pleases her partner.

Another possibility is that she genuinely prefers a passive role. Maybe she enjoys being available to you and gets something she needs from your sexual interactions as they are now. Has she told you whether or not SHE is happy with your sex life, whether SHE wishes it were different in any way?

Unfortunately, all of this is speculation. Nobody knows what's going on in her head for certain except her. I wish I could tell you how to get her to open up, but I don't have answers for that.

 

[perrafuker]

Has there been any abuse or trauma in her past?

She's stopping you before you are able to bring her pleasure. Why is she denying herself that?

Or she's not telling you something.

It sounds like she could benefit from therapy. If not to figure out WHY she would deny herself a "HARD, bursting, gushing" orgasm, then to be able to communicate her needs to you.

good thinking there,maybe she has some sort of trauma or abuse in the past.seek counseling from a professional licensed therapist...that could help since she isnt willing to opening herself to you.good luck,bro

 

[QuantumJumping]

Start early

Build arousal.
A swat on the ass while she brushes her teeth, then walk away.
Stand behind her when she's eating breakfast. Stroke her neck.
Whisper in her ear," I'll be thinking of the smell of your hair all day."
Walk away to another room.
Before leaving for work, ask her to show you her panties.
Growl.
If she isn't wearing a skirt, insist on it.
Now ask her to change the panties.
Specify a color.
If she doesn't have that color, tell her to buy panties in that color at lunch time, wear them.
Tell her to focus on the fabric touching her skin throughout the day.
Text/call her every two hours. Ask her if she feels the fabric covering her pussy. Ask her how it makes her feel. Next time, her hips. Then her ass.
Just before she leaves work, tell her to take them off, and forbid her to touch her pussy.
Put the panties in her purse. Bring them home. You want to smell them.
When she gets home, ask if she followed instructions. If yes, YOU roughly open her legs with your knee, hike up her skirt, stroke the pussy, comment on the feel, wetness, scent, heat next to her ear. Then stop. Walk away telling her to fix dinner. Ask for something specifiic. Baked potato, brownies, carrots..anything.
Ignore her until the meal is ready.
If she didn't follow instructions, have her remove panties, bend over the sofa and spank her, finger the pussy.if she removed the panties but touched the pussy, spank the pussy. Telling her what a naughty girl she has been, denying you the pleasure of being the first one to touch her pussy today. Spin her roughly. Spank her ass. Two fingers piston her cunt. Tell her what you want for dinner, in detail while you finger fuck her. Ask her if she can do that? Cook what you want. Yes? Good. Now tell her to do it. Don't touch the pussy you tell her. Leave the room.

Be polite during dinner.

When finished, get up, hold her. Sweet kisses. Hand goes be hind head, grab hair. Kiss hard. Don't say anything. Keep holding hair. Move her towards the sofa, bed where ever you're going to fuck her. Be insistant. Move her around. Pick her up, toss her about.

If she doesn't have a soaking wet swollen cunt by now, she's dead!

Enjoy.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

unless she isn't at all submissive.. because then she'll probably kick you in the balls and accuse you of having a lover

... just sayin'

 

[LovelyLollie]

having to pee

Ok, so just like boys shoot their fluids out of the same place, sometimes girls mistake having to pee with orgasm. Some are embarrassed. My suggestion is to put a towel down on the bed underneath her - that way if she does tinkle it's no big deal. There is a chance she's just a big squirter and it could feel similar building up. Just a thought!

 

[bailadora]

If she didn't follow instructions, have her remove panties, bend over the sofa and spank her, finger the pussy.if she removed the panties but touched the pussy, spank the pussy. Telling her what a naughty girl she has been, denying you the pleasure of being the first one to touch her pussy today. Spin her roughly. Spank her ass.[/B]

If she doesn't have a soaking wet swollen cunt by now, she's dead!

Damned incongruous advice from someone who thinks those into BDSM are insane. Just sayin'.

 

[unregistered]