Serious question - how small is too small?

[johnlooking16]

I'm blessed/cursed with a very small penis. Maybe 1" soft, 3.5" hard. I've only been with 3 women, including my wife. One laughed when we undressed, one was a one time only, and then there's my wife. She only enjoys it when I go down on her - before and after. She likes it when she uses a "average" size dildo. I've never been able to give her an orgasm without oral after.

So I'm I just too small?

 

[Stopokochac]

I think anything below 5 inches

 

[bearzfan1985]

In my opinion, size is relative and depends on what your partner is used to. I have talked with guys that are blessed with 7" and they even wonder how their partner might prefer it if they were bigger.

We are all familiar that "average" being 6 inches, so when you fall short on that it does make you a bit self conscious when yours is smaller. Skills and attraction play a part in pleasing your partner, but there is a point where you wonder if it could be better for your wife if you were just a little longer and thicker. Every woman wants at least one time of "shock and awe", right?

Have you done any "experiments" to see if size would be appreciated by your wife? Do not buy something grossly larger, but maybe 6-7 inches. See if her reactions are any different than usual. Granted part of her positive reaction might be that it is just mixing it up and doing something different.

Take your time before placing it inside. As you slowly guide it deeper, then see if the response is any stronger. If not, then you will have your answer. If it does, it could just mean she enjoys you doing something different for her pleasure.

I hope you try something and let us know how it went. Enjoy the journey and discovery this together.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

Let’s get this straight: size doesn’t define manhood.

Not in the bedroom. Not in the mind. Not in the soul.

A smaller penis isn’t a flaw. It’s just a variation—like height, voice, or the way someone walks. What matters far more is how you use your body. Your confidence. Your creativity. Your attunement to your partner’s pleasure.

There are men with large equipment and zero clue how to touch a woman’s mind or body. And there are men with modest tools who know how to wreck souls with fingers, lips, timing, and words.

Your worth is not measured in inches—it’s felt in presence, dominance, attentiveness, imagination, and the ability to listen.

So no—there’s no “too small.”

There’s only “Do you know how to own it?”

Now, let me ask you:

What part of this question is about size—and what part is about how you see yourself?

 

[LoneMilf]

Just a few facts:

• Penis size mostly matters to men
• Women get most of their stimulation and orgasms from the clitoris. You don't even need a penis for that
• Many women don't orgasm from penetration alone

 

[flameinsidesoul]

Absolutely spot-on.

The truth is, most of the pressure around penis size is born from insecurity, not anatomy. And as you said—pleasure doesn’t require penetration, nor does it depend on size.

The clitoris is the star of the show, and the men who truly understand female pleasure know it’s about rhythm, attention, timing, and presence. Not just thrusting like it’s a race.

Real connection is an art.

Real lovers adapt, listen, explore—and delight in every inch of the body, not just their own.

So yes, size might matter… to men.

But skill, patience, and passion?

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

As long as it works. Small cocks can be very sexy.

 

[Naughtylo]

They can fit in places big cocks cant. Lots of fun. X

 

[Justhappytobealive]

Just a few facts:

• Penis size mostly matters to men
• Women get most of their stimulation and orgasms from the clitoris. You don't even need a penis for that
• Many women don't orgasm from penetration alone

True

 

[NightBirdNYC]

For what it's worth, I think that from penetration alone I've cum as many times as i can count on both hands in over 3 decades of sex and OK, yes, some of them were unforgettable (one was a a black limo driver I wrote about here on Lit), so I'd agree with a few others in the thread that worries about a "small" penis have much less to do with a woman's satisfaction than they have to do with a man's insecurities.

I've had a few lovers who rightly should have carried a license for the use of their cocks, and aside for 2 or 3, were less than average or sadly even capable lovers, as they apparently assumed that their size alone made them great lovers.

Conversely, I've had a few who were far less endowed who effing rocked my world! Their digging in to my mind with their whispers, their palpably selfless desire to pleasure me, their self confidence in doing so in a myriad of ways that had NOTHING to do with their sizes and much more in the eroticism, intimacy and pleasures that confidence brings to the table.

Having said that, my hubby of 10 years is what I would call "average" in length, but from my experience above average in girth, and the latter is to me more important than the former if we are going to limit the conversation to "size", and I'm happy with that. His forte has always been to surprise me, to vocalize and encourage me, to encourage my "kinks", to interest and tantalize me in sharing his own, which probably has much to do with the fact that my by now favorite way of ending a most satisfying interlude is by worshiping his cock, tasting my own pleasure on it as I do, until he loses control and I'm fed the delicious spurts of my favorite reward...

Ultimately what I would say to those men worried about their perceived "shortcomings" is to not only pleasure her body with lips, fingers, tongue and cock, but (for lack of a better way of saying it) fuck the hell out of her mind and her body will helplessly and gratefully follow!
Just my take...

 

[lowcollar]

When you are finished and she didn't know that it was in.

 

[LMWM321]

She only enjoys it when I go down on her - before and after. She likes it when she uses a "average" size dildo. I've never been able to give her an orgasm without oral after.

well, my dick is extremely large (8 1/8" long, 6 1/4" girth) and my wife also orgasms most easily with an "average" dildo AND always with simultaneous stimulation using a clitoral suction toy, which my oral skills cannot compete with.

Do I lament that toys work better than me? No, not at all! I'm delighted to be the master of her dildo. It's taken lots of practice but I've learned what depth, stroke speed and what angles work best. ..In the end, we're still having sex and our respective challenges (my oversized dick, her menopause, etc..) have brought us closer together.