Sentence complicity
- Thread starter TheWolf
- Start date
I apologize for the word in the subject
I noticed right after I posted the original message that I had said complicity, rather than level of complication, or something like that, in my original subject. What an embarassment! How I made such a mistake I shall never know, but I do apologize for any offense.
I noticed right after I posted the original message that I had said complicity, rather than level of complication, or something like that, in my original subject. What an embarassment! How I made such a mistake I shall never know, but I do apologize for any offense.
Weird Harold
Opinionated Old Fart
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- Mar 1, 2000
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- 23,768
TheWolf said:
The standard advice is to read your writing aloud. If you can write complex sentences that aren't awkward to read, then use them.
The most common 'error' is the use of "connective ands" to combine two unrelated thoughts. Doing away with every occurance of ",and", by replacing them with a period, will usually improve your story.
On the other hand, if you go too far in the quest to keep things short and simple, your story becomes very "choppy" to read.
Keep things short when you can, and be as lyrical as necessary when appropriate.
Hmmmm...
I don't have any "connective ands," in my story, so I guess that is a good thing. I've edited the beginning of a story I have started to write at least 7 times now. I'm not sure whether it sounds better now that I've edited it, or if it was preferable in its simpler initial form.
I don't have any "connective ands," in my story, so I guess that is a good thing. I've edited the beginning of a story I have started to write at least 7 times now. I'm not sure whether it sounds better now that I've edited it, or if it was preferable in its simpler initial form.
KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
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- Jul 29, 2000
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- 25,603
http://216.169.118.69/storyxs/voled_stor.shtml
Go there and pick an editor. The best way for you to tell if your sentences are too complicated, or if you're just not understandable is for someone else to read it for you. It's always a good idea to have another person edit your story for you prior to submission. There are lots of typos you'll miss that your spell checker thinks are words. Like The instead of They.
Luck to ya.
Go there and pick an editor. The best way for you to tell if your sentences are too complicated, or if you're just not understandable is for someone else to read it for you. It's always a good idea to have another person edit your story for you prior to submission. There are lots of typos you'll miss that your spell checker thinks are words. Like The instead of They.
Luck to ya.
Darowyn
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2000
- Posts
- 283
Sentence Length
You clearly know it makes a difference, so use it!
If you want the story to flow in a continuous stream like a broad river winding across open country, then extend your sentences with subordinate clauses and imagery.
When the action speeds up, shorten the sentences. Move quickly. Jump!
In other words use variations in pace to carry the feeling of the words. Follow the beat of your heart.
By the way the number of syllables in the words makes a difference too, and so does the cultural origin of the word -Vagina and Penis may mean the same but are not the same as cunt and prick. Latin is cool (and I don't mean good) and Anglo Saxon is down and dirty. There are other resonances too - French is often upper class for example.
Just a bit of practical advice from a songwriter.
You clearly know it makes a difference, so use it!
If you want the story to flow in a continuous stream like a broad river winding across open country, then extend your sentences with subordinate clauses and imagery.
When the action speeds up, shorten the sentences. Move quickly. Jump!
In other words use variations in pace to carry the feeling of the words. Follow the beat of your heart.
By the way the number of syllables in the words makes a difference too, and so does the cultural origin of the word -Vagina and Penis may mean the same but are not the same as cunt and prick. Latin is cool (and I don't mean good) and Anglo Saxon is down and dirty. There are other resonances too - French is often upper class for example.
Just a bit of practical advice from a songwriter.
Dillinger
Guerrilla Ontologist
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2000
- Posts
- 26,152
I am new to posting here at Literotica but I am not new to writing and have had some small amount of work published. My best advice is that it should flow. The use of large words or complicated sentence structure simply for the sake of doing so detracts from the flow of the story. However there are circumstances where certain ideas can only be presented properly through the use of such structures. There are also cases where your story may call for such usage as inherent in a particular character's personality.
The main concern is that you, and others, can read the story in a smooth continuous manner. The reader should not ever have to stop and reread a sentence because he/she is confused about the author's intentions.
Be clear. Aim for something between pithily concise and turgidly verbose.
The main concern is that you, and others, can read the story in a smooth continuous manner. The reader should not ever have to stop and reread a sentence because he/she is confused about the author's intentions.
Be clear. Aim for something between pithily concise and turgidly verbose.
Alexander Croiux
Virgin
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- Oct 8, 2000
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- 4
sentence structure
at the risk of sounding overly "zen-ish" and trendy and blah blah blah.... just lisen to the sentence, it will tell you when it is done. two words. maybe three words?
later,
alexander croiux
at the risk of sounding overly "zen-ish" and trendy and blah blah blah.... just lisen to the sentence, it will tell you when it is done. two words. maybe three words?
later,
alexander croiux
Verbage
Write so that it is fun for you. But if you read the story out LOUD...then the flow and rhythm can be discerned.
However write and continue to write: it sorta purges the crap out and then the juice really flows. The declarative sentence that Hemmingway made so popular is fine to a point.I agree with some of the others use what works to get across the point you need to make.
Write so that it is fun for you. But if you read the story out LOUD...then the flow and rhythm can be discerned.
However write and continue to write: it sorta purges the crap out and then the juice really flows. The declarative sentence that Hemmingway made so popular is fine to a point.I agree with some of the others use what works to get across the point you need to make.
