Send in the Creepy Clowns

[Hypoxia]

Not an idea as much as a proposal. I've seen many recent reports of Creepy Clowns appearing, or threatening to, out in Eastern and Southern USA. Clown fear spreads. Violence threatens. Arrests are made.

What erotica would you write about Creepy Clowns? I have ideas I may share later.

 

[Carnevil9]

I have a friend who is a proud graduate of Clown College. He assures me that clowns are asexual. And while I'll admit that that may be the party line for actual clown professionals, it seems to me that the general public sees them as having sexuality. A creepy, disturbing sexuality, but an undeniable one nevertheless.

So I could see a story about a community of clowns, doing all sorts of disturbingly sexual clown things. Like lusting after the big red nose of the clown down the block. Or wishing your husband had huger shoes. Or coming home with the wrong colored greasepaint on your collar. Or being caught in the back seat of a car with seventeen or eighteen young clown maidens.

And don't even get me started on the perverted science of clown clones......

 

[prettynun2010]

I imagine about the fat guy, fat as same as John Goodman or Stephen Fry, make up as a clown, and be a roadside rapist.

 

[Hypoxia]

It's a adult circus. Clowns circulate in the audience, molesting a select few, maybe bringing some down to the center ring for exhibition. Do they ever make it back to their seats?

A mob of clowns parades on a main street performing silly magic tricks -- including snatching-up bystanders, trapping them in big bags, and hauling them off for molestation. How funny!

A householder hears a noise outside. They glance at a window -- a clown face leers at them! They turn to run, see clown faces at every window! Then a door opens...

Young mothers bring their kids to see a big, jovial clown. Alas, the mothers disappear. For erotic horror, the clown is Satan in disguise.

 

[sirhugs]

Lo these many decades ago there was a gal in my dorm who was a clown- had been to Ringling's clown college and everything. Definitely not asexual.

A couple of ideas:

~ what goes on in those dorms at clown college?
~ a Halloween party mistaken identity- "oops, wrong clown"
~ reports of Creepy Clowns cause a random arrest on the way home from a Halloween party, ending up in hijinks in the cell.
~"how many clowns can fit in the car?" charity fundraiser causes folks to get very up close...with tab As in slot Bs you can fit a couple of extra.
~Creepy Clown nightmares cause adult children to invade parental bed.

 

[Strangebuddy]

What if our clowns aren't human?

For example, what if ye olde (ish) Harlequinades were not just bits of entertainment but also...(got the idea after watching a bunch of those "here's the REAL story" movies) a simplification of a battle between between several old spirits. Long story short: a demonic clown gets hold of the (slightly more) benevolent Harlequin's slapstick, which can turn objects into other things (chairs into fish, swords into flowers).

Freed from the antiquated performance, Clown now stalks the streets and goes into bedrooms at night, using the slap stick to torment everyone.

For example, a woman sits down for the day at her office, only to find her chair suddenly turned into a barrel of tentacles. Or, a group of people are swimming in a pool when the slapstick gets tapped onto the water's surface, transforming it into a living slime, which devours their clothing and begins trying to squirm in every orifice. Alternatively, clothes are turned into tissue paper. Each victim fights to escape their situation, only to run into the clown who bonks them on the head before dragging them away.

2. A meteorite is discovered containing a strange oily substance. Scientists scoop some out for testing while the rest goes to storage. However, when the substance is about to be tested on, it launches out and coats the scientist and soaks its way into their pores. the scientist is quarantined but appears to escape, only to find them carefully perched on the doorframe. the scientist however has grown pale white flesh, red poofy hair, large hands, long feet which have congealed into looking like a pair of over-sized shoes, and a really red round nose.

The scientist escapes into the community and begins capturing new people to infect, people getting snatched off the streets by the increasingly monstrous clown, who now has multiple striped arms that move like snakes and stretch out. The scientist manages to get a dozen or so people and dumps the rest of the alien material on them. The little material that remains for study is used on some rats and the alien clown's goal is revealed: the substance can infect people but they can't produce more of the substance naturally. Two infected persons need to screw to create a pure nightmare clown who can naturally produce the stuff (from conception to maturity only takes a week).

Unfortunately, it takes two weeks for them to find the clowns' nest. when they arrive, they go in with biohazard suits and discover a town full of demon clowns screwing or capturing people to transform while multiple true alien clowns sit in the middle of town, making more alien oil to infect the Earth.

 

[Hypoxia]

Clown college, eh? So, a standard college story, but in clown college, a campus full of clowns, all in costume and makeup whenever they leave the (co-ed) dorms -- it's a rule. Instead of town vs gown conflicts, it's town vs clown. Do townies dare enter the campus neighborhood?

Of course clowns derived from court jesters and fools. So, a period piece about the jesters' annual convention, a week of discussion and training and sex. They're athletic but misshapen dwarves of all genders, politically astute, none too honest, and horny as hell.

Update: An important executive position in every major company is the corporate clown, who entertains and deflates senior management. Being corporate, they wear suits, but are nicely made-up. So, a corporate clown convention, with workshops in pie-throwing, etc.

Elsewhere I've mentioned an old xxx-rated underground comix piece where a clown car rolls into the circus center ring. A large female clown squeezes out the little door. She plops on the floor, legs spread. Numerous male clowns, some smoking cigars, pop from her dilated pussy and chase around doing clown stuff.

We need to work Wavy Gravy in here somewhere...

 

[Carnevil9]

Don't forget the ever popular Class Clowns from grade, junior high, and high schools. Did their shtick ever get them laid? On second thought, better stick to seniors in high school who are definitely over eighteen.

 

[Hypoxia]

Don't forget the ever popular Class Clowns from grade, junior high, and high schools. Did their shtick ever get them laid? On second thought, better stick to seniors in high school who are definitely over eighteen.

After they turn eighteen just before graduation, class clowns are give a bye-bye suckoff (under the bleachers or in the chemistry closet) by teachers glad to see them go. It's a school ritual. Meanwhile, the janitor is porking the class queen. And ominous clown figures loom on the horizon...

 

[Hypoxia]

They're metastasizing...

UK news: Creepy clown craze spreads to Britain -- "Series of sightings of people dressed as clowns and frightening children reported across UK after similar incidents sweep US."

No one is quite sure why there have been dozens of sightings across the US in recent weeks, but one thing is certain: the scary clown craze has crossed the Atlantic.

People around the UK have reported a series of sightings of people dressed as clowns frightening children, with six separate reports of “clown incidents” reported by Northumbria police in the past week.

One of the most dramatic occured on Friday morning when a masked man carrying a knife jumped out in front of a group of 11 and 12 year-olds and followed them to school in County Durham. The pupils were left distressed but unhurt by the clown, who was wearing grey tracksuit bottoms, red shoes and a multicoloured top.

When will they reach North Korea?

 

[Strangebuddy]

I feel bad for the creepy clowns who came before this craze. The ones who got paid to terrify children and stalk them. How will their artistry and entrepreneurship be impacted...seriously, I invested in a German business for scary clowns, how am I supposed to make my money back if people are doing it for freee?

 

[Hypoxia]

I invested in a German business for scary clowns, how am I supposed to make my money back if people are doing it for freee?

Declare bankruptcy. Take a huge paper cash loss for a long-term tax break. Threaten to sue infringing clowns; accuse them of stealing jobs. Establish a for-profit clown college; take more write-offs when it fails. The playbook has already been written.

But I digress. A few years back it was chupacabras. Before them, it was alien anal probes and implants, and Little Green Men. Now it's clowns. The forms change but the dynamics remain the same.

 

[loquere]

Declare bankruptcy. Take a huge paper cash loss for a long-term tax break. Threaten to sue infringing clowns; accuse them of stealing jobs. Establish a for-profit clown college; take more write-offs when it fails. The playbook has already been written.

But I digress. A few years back it was chupacabras. Before them, it was alien anal probes and implants, and Little Green Men. Now it's clowns. The forms change but the dynamics remain the same.

Trump does have a clown face.

 

[Hypoxia]

Trump does have a clown face.

And orange hair. Yes, he's a Jugalo. Hey, I sense a conspiracy! Nobody has blamed ICP (Insane Clown Posse). They're the obvious perps. Why has mainstream media backed away?

 

[CeasarBoobage]

A woman sees a clown walking through the woods and follows it to an RV on a dirt road. Trying to stay calm, she walks up and knocks on the door. A slovenly man appears, still wiping the makeup off of his face. She pushes her way in and takes off her shirt and bra, leaning against the bench seat as she watches his shocked face.

"I know you're that clown, and I don't care. Actually, change that, I *do* care. I want you to keep doing what you do. My husband is picking up tons of overtime working security, and our paycheck is going to be amazing this week. That's part of the reason I'm here, to say thanks, but the other reason is to ask you for a favor.

"My children go to the school you were just seen at, and your antics are affecting their sleep and happiness. If you agree to this deal, will you bother the school down the road? For both of these items, you can have the full use of my body for one hour. What do you say?"

The man unfastens his pants, smiling evilly. "You've got a deal pretty lady, but it's only good until Friday. A BJ will keep me away for a day, sex works for three days, and anal gets you a week. Which will it be? Got any friends that will help?"