"Self improvement is masturbation..."

[delphicRENDERER]

OOC: Greetings, to whomever may read this. This thread isn't exactly for others to participate in, though feedback is strongly encouraged and welcomed! For anybody that may remember me when I joined Lit, my first thread (and post, I believe) was a thread called Jack's Smirking Revenge, that seemed to have died off. I've decided now to resurrect that thread, but instead of others playing the characters, I will play all.

For anybody curious on what it was about, you can read OOC: Jack's Smirking Revenge. But basically, it follows a sort of storyline concerning the movie and book Fight Club originally written by Chuck Palahniuk. With this thread, I've decided to keep this to myself and even in the title, you will find another Fight Club reference as Tyler Durden says "Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction..."

Consider this thread "masturbation"... my own feelings of the characters, the way I want them to act. It is a form of "self improvment" in my writing, as I enjoy writing both the written word and music. So ahead of time, I say, thanks for stopping by.. I hope you enjoy your stay, and as I said before - if you have any comments, questions for other threads I'm involved in, don't hesitate to ask! Just drop me a PM!

Thanks,
The dR. http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v240/ugly_bass_player/Jig.gif

 

[delphicRENDERER]

I am Jack's raging lust..

Sometimes, I found myself to be a complete enigma. I don't know if it was because I kept to myself or what anymore. I'd grow to the point that I didn't even care anymore. The point being that I could never actually ask a woman out on a date, or make any kind of relationship grow - but I somehow found myself in bed with a woman probably every other week.

I never remembered meeting the woman, either. That's what seemed to scare me... was I just getting smashed and then finding some woman that was as equally intoxicated? Was I even being myself? That's when I decided to ask my friend, Tyler Durden.

It was Tuesday. I always found Tuesdays to be worse than Mondays... ever since she started working at the office. Kimberly Dawson... just the way her name rolled off my tongue made me want to run into the men's room and get my rocks off right then and there. Now, Kimberly doesn't really "work", per se. She's more like an "assistant", or "secretary" for my boss, Frank Lance - without the actual secretary work involved.

Okay, let me rephrase that so it'll make more sense to even myself: she was Frank's little whore. I knew this, because Tyler knew this... he told me how Frank and Kimberly would often stay late at the office, fucking like a couple of rabbits. I couldn't stand her being there, but I knew everytime she was there, I did want her there. Well, maybe I should actually give a little background on her - and what my whole deal is with her.

I've known Kimberly Anne Dawson since the 3rd grade. She always thought of me as the nerd, the type a girl should never really be with. Through the years, I did eventually get to know her better - through classes together and such. She was a very nice girl, and then high school came along... the whole faction, group thing... wasn't my deal. I wasn't a jock, I wasn't a prep, I was nothing. I was simply "Jack".

Studied by myself, ate lunch by myself, and was often the brunt of everybody's joke - yet I never really seemed to care. I still talked to her on an occasion, when I'd have a class or two with her... at least, until her boyfriend at the time would always shove me or pull some prank on me while talking to her. Funny though, because none of their pranks ever seemed to have the effect they were hoping for. At least.. until one time at lunch during sophomore year.

I could have swore she was waving at me, so I smiled and began walking toward her. Then I was tripped by my own damn shoelaces that had been tied together. Naturally, everybody was laughing... but.. even she was. That was probably the day I stopped being myself.

"Are you fucking deaf?!"

"Huh?" I must have been daydreaming again.

"File these reports and make sure to call Jim Bruney on that Inax case. If we lose him, you're in deep shit." That was the one and only Frank Lance. I seemed to slip into a daydream again before he threw a wad of paper at my head. "And quit fucking daydreaming!"

I sighed as I picked up the paper, and suddenly a strong scent began to emanate. I froze, it couldn't be her, not yet.. she usually came in an hour or two before everybody was ready to leave for the day. It was only 12, though many people were away for lunch - my day started only about an hour or two ago.

Then I slowly rose from my chair, looking over the walls of my cubicle. Nobody. Just a couple people from the office coming back from lunch. As I rose my arm with wad of paper in my hand, ready to throw it in the garbage, the scent grew stronger. I brought the paper to my nose and almost immediately, my head reeled backward in the strong essence. Seating myself back in my office chair, I peered over my shoulder making sure the coast was clear - so I could open the paper. A small, photoprinted nude of Kimberly, and a written letter alongside it.

"I tell ya man, you gotta hit that shit. Steal her away from him," a voice called out. My eyes widened as I quickly turned around, hiding the paper.

"TYLER!" I said exasperated, then immediately lowered my tone. "What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Nah, I was let go, again. 'Too unreliable', bullshit." He just rolled his eyes.

 

[delphicRENDERER]

I am Jack's post

Ah yes, Tyler Durden. He was one of those guys that could always manage to get different jobs, regardless of any problems he may have had at a previous job. One time, he was fired for supposedly "threatening" co-workers, but they were probably too stupid to realize that he was merely persuading them on something. Tyler and I always looked at threats as persuasions, which they always have been, to a point.

Tyler and I started this little group we like to call "Fight Club". It had grown differently from when I last remember it, it resolved differences between two individuals, it got deals done... that kind of stuff. It did a whole lot more than just relieve stress. It was never discussed, however... if any authorities found out about it, surely it'd be shut down.

I gave a weak, weak laugh as I uncrumbled the paper again to look at the picture before looking up at Tyler. "She'd never leave Frank," I said hopelessly. Tyler took the paper from me and stuffed it into the inside of his coat pocket, then smacked me on the shoulder, "Alright look, you don't want her? Is that what you're saying?"

"That's not what I said..."

"Alright, then race your ass up to her before she can get to Mr. Lance's office and sweep her off her feet."

"That's easier said than done, you know.."

Tyler stared at me for a moment before tossing his arms up in defeat. "Alright! Your loss, man..." He grabbed a handful of mints from a cubicle across from me, popping one into his mouth. He leaned against the entrance to my own cubicle and gave me that ever sly smile of his as he sucked on the candy, "You're going to tonight, right?"

"I'm going to have to," I said as I stretched my body outward to look toward Frank's office door. Tyler stared at me again, "You're fucking obsessed with her, just get it over with," he said disgustingly before walking away from my cubicle and then the office. Slumping back into my chair, I partly agreed with Tyler - I was obsessed with her... what I'd give to feel her lips on my lips, her pussy around my dick - or hell, the other way around, if it could be arranged.

Time passed, and it was almost nearing time for me to leave. Still no Kimberly... Frank was getting irritated by her absence. He'd load work on me everytime I looked like I wasn't busy and she hadn't shown up yet. Her absence also took me by surprise. Maybe she met Tyler during my lunchbreak or something...

Frank came by with some more paperwork, and I dared to ask him, "So where's this secretary of yours? Did she quit or something?" He obviously didn't like that, as he got right into my face, "That's none of your fucking business!" I didn't flinch, I merely looked into his hostile face and smiled. He wanted to punch me, that I already knew - but if he did, he knew he'd be fired and I could sue himself and the company to make possibly millions.

"Go home," Frank said through a grinding teeth. Now that, I did blink. I still had another hour or so, and usually Frank doesn't let me leave until precisely the second I get off. This I would have to tell Tyler about...

 

[delphicRENDERER]

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise..

If I could wake up as a different person, I would probably be like Tyler. He had this care-free attitude that I just could never seem to fully develop. Sure, being in Fight Club helped me out a lot with relieving stress and understanding more and more why we, as people, did the things we did. Fight Club was relatively small, only about 20 people actually knew about it - mostly the people that were at the bar. Sometimes, I wished it were bigger. Bigger in the fact that everybody knew about it and I could pick a fight with anybody that seemed to try and push me down everytime I would get up.

Tyler once asked me while tossing a ball up and down as he laid on the floor of the shithole we lived in, "If you could fight anybody in the world, who would it be?"

"I'd fight my boss."

He looked at me like I was stupid, still throwing that ball up and down, "Your boss..." Then he caught the ball and sat up, "You only want to fight him for that piece of meat he brings with him every Tuesday."

"What's it to you?"

"Well, I'll have you know there are some things in this world worth fighting for. Women are not one of them."

"You've never actually met her, though."

"This is true..." He got up and started pacing around for a moment before he turned to me, "THINK FAST!" and he threw the ball right at my head.

I had my head turned from him, and my only way of seeing was the mirror I was staring at while shaving. Once I saw that sphere coming my way, I did only what anybody could do to try and avoid it but it still hit me with a force that hurt like hell. "Motherfucker!" Blood started rushing down the side of my face, "Goddamnit, I cut myself shaving."

Tyler started laughing, "You see, that's your problem with this woman. You keep trying to avoid her while she's with Frank."

"What?" I asked incredulously as I started washing off the blood.

"The ball is her. The razor is Frank. Everytime she comes toward you, or vice versa - even if Frank is there - you avoid her like the plague." Tyler picked up the ball and stepped next to me, looking into the mirror. With a smirk, "That's a nasty cut... You see what he's doing to you?"

I just stared at Tyler via the mirror. "Next time, quit trying to avoid her." Then he bopped me on the head with the ball again, though I didn't exactly wince this time. "Now hurry up so we can get going." Then, Tyler left the room.