Self D/s

[BlueSugar]

I don't know if it is me making a decision or something deep inside me that says "do not orgasm when you aren't a reasonable driveable distance from M, espically if M said not/to."

I get directions, requests and tasks from M, but we haven't been able to be together in a few weeks now and I realized today that I haven't had an orgasm since we were together!

When you are without a PYL/pyl do you find yourself self BDSMing? Almost as if you were self medicating?
(the scene from Secretary with the brush comes to mind... poor girl )

Is it your decision, ingrained in you and/or is it just the right thing to do to keep yourself ready?

Is there an activity that you do with or without a PYL/pyl? Something you've learned from past experiences, something you used to have to do while with a partner... that just simply makes you feel more whole, feeds that craving?


When you go longer times without a PYL/pyl... months...years... do you find yourself giving yourself tasks and such?


(I suppose long distance relationships can chime in, though usually they are given tasks to do, as well as online relationships have the same. I'm really looking for no contact/being alone with yourself.)

I'm going to review my actions more often now ... are/do you?

 

[Mr Blonde]

Honestly I don't play elaborate imagination games with myself.

If I was single or separated from my partner, my goal would be getting myself together so I'd be ready to make the most of my next real-time opportunity. I'd throw myself into self improvement activities that improved my desirability or eliminate distractions that been a hindrance in the past.

 

[BlueSugar]

Honestly I don't play elaborate imagination games with myself.

If I was single or separated from my partner, my goal would be getting myself together so I'd be ready to make the most of my next real-time opportunity. I'd throw myself into self improvement activities that improved my desirability or eliminate distractions that been a hindrance in the past.

well, not to the point where it would be a distraction in life.


But more of a pause before you get into bed thank yourself that you aren't vanilla and cuddle in. Or a good hard look at yourself in the mirror with a smile that says "HA I am NOT vanilla and PROUD! I look so dom'mely! A practice swing of the whip every now and then, look for a new tortue tool every three weeks... wear a cuff/collar alone by yourself for an hour just to feel it and remind yourself.
Or tasks etc...

 

[esclave_PP]

I think I understand what you're getting at. Sure, you keep to and in your mindset right? I think anyone who lives this lifestyle more than just playtime (that's a submissive in any case) probably does some form of this.

We all have our rituals and habits...just keeping to the mindset is all...did I understand you correctly?

 

[BlueSugar]

I think I understand what you're getting at. Sure, you keep to and in your mindset right? I think anyone who lives this lifestyle more than just playtime (that's a submissive in any case) probably does some form of this.

We all have our rituals and habits...just keeping to the mindset is all...did I understand you correctly?

Yes. And even going beyond rituals... like finding yourself denying orgasm like someone else has a hold on you without realizing till a few days after the fact.

Now that I look at myself these past few weeks, I didn't masturbate because underlying in my mind it was "do not do so without some kind of permission." M and I have been apart for a few weeks now and I just haven't self pleasured myself. My hand would idely wander into my panties - but nothing would come of it. I wanted to badly too.. that was the best part... nothing would come of all the playing (not even me )

Once I figured that out today, I tried again, and that was the key... I finally got myself off!!!

I guess this may be a "becoming of age/bdsm mindset" ? I have no idea.

 

[Netzach]

I often do self-bondge, it's practise for when I can tie someone else and I find it relaxing.

 

[esclave_PP]

Self-bondage is great! Blue, I think that you're just falling more and more into your mindset. Nothing wrong with that!

 

[Etoile]

Can anybody explain self bondage to me? I just don't understand how one can restrain oneself. Aren't you...y'know... tied up?

 

[esclave_PP]

You can do things like breast bondage, and rope panties and the like -- just can't do fancy things like tie your arms up -- so I guess in essence it isn't totally 100% but it sure feels good.

 

[TeasedWhispers]

i am starting to wonder what doing D/s to yourself is like...I know the experience of the bondage and spanking to yourself but not D/s lol

 

[fergus4]

Can anybody explain self bondage to me? I just don't understand how one can restrain oneself. Aren't you...y'know... tied up?

If you do a search on "self bondage" you will find a number of neat little articles here and there. The key is SAFTEY!!!!!

You don't want to find yourself in a dangerous (or just embarassing) situation.

From my readings I can find two broad catagories of self bondage.
1) restriction....for those who like the restrictive feel of the bondage itself.
2) Inescabable....for those who like the feeling of actually being unable to escape. This is done with timed devices (a simple times device is a key set in ice). DO NOT DO THIS WITHOUT A GOOD BACK-UP PLAN!

fergus

 

[Netzach]

I don't really do it for the restraint, but there are ways to do it. Bridgett Harrington is a master of self-bondage to the point of full on self suspension, google her and you can see it taken to extremes, also google Max Cita.

When I do it I am usually practising a breast harness or a crotch rope, or some marling hitch ties on my legs, or decorative foot bondage with lacing, or trying to get a little faster.

 

[garylee]

confused maybe

i believe i could almost understand someone doing some self play to themselves......

but self D/s?????/ i dont believe i can grab that concept.
and the worst of it......not being a smartass....please believe me,...being vanilla for 41 yrs....depending solely on myself...
even when i have BEEN with a domme......my head still says lean on myself only...so i never get out of that mindset.
in MY training......bear with me.....is i am taught not to ever ask of anything for myself....than what the domme wants to give you.
so being a non clinging slave,...asking for nothing for myself....my mindset is i am as much of a piece of furniture as Her desk chair....and unless it squeeks She ignores it....pretty much as i have been ignored.
i was given a document all typed out nice n pretty,,,asking what i thought about a domme's attitude....
does the domme initiate conversation or play times or seek out slave's needs?
i said hell no!
"I" have never yet seen 1 domme "I" have been around that initiated anything......its always been ME to go ask Her about everything. so as a domme i told Her She failed Her own test that She printed out.
so THAT started an argument......ya can't win....tell em the truth and you are a dog and if i lie i am a dog....!!!!

but hey......its just me.......okay?
later
garylee