Seeking Serious Readers for Feedback

[turner28]

Some of you know me, some do not. I am currently penning a 4 book bdsm saga and books 1 & 2 are published, book 3 is in progress.

The feedback so far is BEYOND awesome with one small exception - everyone seems to be missing the very complex backstory.

The backstory unfolds over the entire saga and has subtle hints, that many are seemingly missing or just too exciuted about the bdsm scenes.

I seek SERIOUS readers for 100% honest feedback on the BACKSTORY in this saga.

I would like at least 15 readers, those who participate will receive the print versions free as they become available. For the review purposes they shall receive the ebook version in a fille format of their choice. Also free - providing they maintain contact with me and give me feedback as they read.

Those seeking free copies shall be weeded out quickly and not accepted for future feedback requests on unpublished works.

I am also offering a super special on ALL published works for those who wish a package deal. Please contact me on yahoo messenger - id is the same there as it is here. (please do not edit that out I publish in my REAL NAME and am NOT afraid of anyone bugging me).

Or you can contact me in the irc chatroom I own where many come to discuss all sorts of the lifestyle and what they read. For info on how to get there just pm me here.

Thank you in advance to those who offer assistance on the feedback. It shall require not rapid reading, but in depth reading as the hints are very subtle and if not watching for them quite easily missed.

I am not accepting any editing jobs at the moment as I am recovering from major surgery. I hope by november to be able to do this for you again

ET

 

[Noira]

If MOST people are missing it, it's probably too subtle. It doesn't matter how in depth of feedback readers you get. It's the average joe you need to worry about. I had readers who 'got' my complicated baby story. There were a couple of them. No one else did.

Unfortunately those are the ones that pay the bills.

If the stories are already published, what good will feedback do you? Unless it's feedback specific to the coming books, you can't change things if the feedback is 'it's too subtle/it's no good'.

 

[Tyro999]

Your own words contain the answer:

"4 book saga, 1 & 2 already published, 3rd in progress

"everyone seems to be missing the very complex backstory.

"backstory unfolds over the entire saga

"backstory has subtle hints"

With half the saga completed, you have such a subtle and complex backstory to it that nobody is getting it.

The combination has already killed half of your saga, how are 15 or more "SEROUS readers with honest feedback" going to save the second half of your saga?

 

[turner28]

Well, I could have been more specific. MANY are missing it yes, however there are those who ARE catching it - however they tend to be thes ones seeking the free ride and give tiny little comments - which are all good but truthfullly useless in structuring the rest of the saga.


This Saga is inspired by a few common themes some are familiar with. First the Twilight series - the 2 main characters are as passionate and as strong as Edward and Bella. The BDSM training sessions are inspired by the SAW movies (only without the gore - just the mental mind *uck).

So far I have 2 who have contacted me to participate and I look forward to working with both of them.


One thing I have found in all of my years here at literotica is that the SERIOUS readers live on a different site. Meaning this - those who call this home are seeking a free ride. Free reading and such - this is why I hesitated before even posting it here. I have sold over 7000 copies of book 1 to those unknown. I have sold over 2000 ebook copies of book 2 - which I feel crappy about as I had an english teacher edit it and she put so many dern comma's in it was pathetic! When I received the proof copy a few weeks ago I am STILL editing out comma's that do not need to be there and this is why the print of book 2 is slightly delayed.

Book 3 is in progress and I do know where I wish to go with it. BUT, there are some extraneous characters that some have mentioned they would like to see more of. Ok, What would you like to see from them? These kinds of comments might help me weave them into the overall plot better.

I should also let you know that yes, book 1 is posted HERE but is NOT the final work, much was changed in the published version. I put the draft here to see how it would be received, and the ones who took the time to comment, well speaks for itself. On the way the formatting got screwed when Lit posted it - that was beyond my control.

For those who are considering this there are some things you should know, these are NOT simple reads. Book 1 is 514 pages, book 2 is 498 pages the rest looks to be at least that many. I do expect book 4 to go longer - so much so that I may actually break it into 2 parts.

I have had NUMEROUS requests for these on audio - which is also in the works. If you wish to sample before committing - my blog link is in my signature and all teasers can be found there, as well as scenes I edit out. There are also comments from other readers there as well, and I do have a growing collection still to add that I have not had time to edit nicks out to keep the confidentiality.

Another thing i have noticed is those who tend to comment before actually checking links in signatures, also tend to be those who are seeking the free ride.

I am a PROFESSIONAL writer, published INTERNATIONALLY for both my poetry AND this Saga as well as numerous ones in a pen name. I have been a Lit member a long time and do editing for other writers here. Although because I myself am recouping from a major surgery I am not taking editing jobs at the moment.


I also work hand in hand with other SERIOUS Lit writers who are also publishing their work professionally - who also love the series, but we seem to keep missing each other online as our schedules conflict.

Let me remind those who are considering - I have nearly every file format available for you. doc, pdf, kindle, sony reader, kobo, open office, works, and a dozen more. Please be sure to let me know which one you need - if you do not pdf is the default and the one I send.

I am also seeking a fellow with a near baritone voice to assist me - when the book is finished - with the audio of book 4 as it is in a male voice. This will be discussed whith the one who contacts me concerning it.

Thank you

 

[elfin_odalisque]

turner, I agree with the earlier comments here but having skimmed through a lot of your 32 Lit pages (isn't that 115k words for a first vol.?) I would add some thoughts.

You know what's in your head but we, the readers, don't. You conflate present tense with past tense in a miasma difficult to follow and introduce characters that you don't flesh out.

I think the mistake you're making is forgetting that you are totally aware of the backstory and we poor readers have to rely on your explanation - which you don't do well.

If you write in first person, present tense then I think you need to be more emotional and direct, with less painfully-drawn out backstory, than I found in vol 1.

 

[primebreeder]

Re Book Review

Hello Turner28

I saw your request for reviewers. I do write reviews for a UK SciFi internet magazine.
I have made some attempts at writing myself and would like to give reviewing your book a go.

I am a lawyer by trade and reasonably literate. I have very broad taste when it comes to reading both fiction and non fiction and feel I would be able to at the very least give you a considered opinion.

I look forward to hearing from you.

My email address is sextonblake@aol.com

Regards

Paul

 

[turner28]

primebreeder if you could ocntact me via yahoo messenger it would be appreciated. I prefer dealing this way as it provied a fast way for readers to pop off a question to me, or a comment. Yes I would love to have you assist me with this


elfin - When I submitted book 1 to lit I had it formatted in such a way that the jumps to the falshbacks were easy to follow - as they are in the published versions. I have the chapters broke down everything. Somehow between the time I submitted it and when it was posted it lost MUCH formatting and MANY pages. I looked it over felt that enough was there to obtain feedback on the overall story. In other threads this was discussed and those who participated in the threads understood. As for major changes to the story there were no major ones, but I added things, expanded things etc.



Ok, to give a run down of what's in my head - and NOT mess up the series for any who wish to volunteer - I shall make an attempt here. It may seem a bit evasive but for plot reasons this is necessary as anyone would sees book 2 first it makes a revelation that book 1 builds quite dramatically.



The Taylor Saga -

A woman who loved Chris with all of her heart, got pregnant in high school just as he left for college - thus he never knew about the child. Married another and eventually divorced. Became a victim of a stalker (who it is later revealed there is more to this stalker than she ever realized), is kidnapped and forced into bdsm with Chris & his partner David.

The book IS written in 1st person, I take you DEEP into the submissive mind, so if she does not see it it is not in the book. Such missing details will be in book 4 as it will be in David's voice. On first glance this Saga shall APPEAR to be a classic case of stockholm but, never take things at face value. For the characters are rich in history, detail and so forth. However, I have not yet decided if the resolution that it is NOT Stockholm should come out in book 3 or book 4 YET. My intution tells me book 4 so this is the path I am following at the moment.

Yes, I have some scenes that I think 2 comments on that I tend to knock off a couple of characters a bit fast. In book 1 a chapter or two in I do this - but this character is detailed fully throughout book 1 and 2, and WHY he had to go will be revealed in book 4. I also do a huge NO NO in book 2 - I knock off one of the main characters. But for the backstory to progress this had to happen.

On book 1 FEEDBACK told me there was one specific character the readers wanted to see more of - thus book 2 made him more active. It worked out wonderfully, sadly though his last appearance shall be in book 3.


prime - like you I am a college grad, I do editing for others but an NOT a grammar nazi

I tend to break A LOT (if not all) of the rules. With creative writing, you CAN get away with this. I write in common joe everyday language for one. I don't use big words, or tons of extra punctuations. I use what is necessary and omit the rest.

But the worst rule I break - the cardinal rule ofcreative writing - the READER should NEVER interact with the main character. This is my one flaw. Taylor talks to the the reader, she brings them into the story. It is done subtly, yes but it is done. MANY professional editors - Vantage Press for one wished to edit these parts out, I declined their offer for publication. In order to get the reader where I want then this interaction is necessary. The reader will FEEL what she feels, their heart will rce with hers and so forth. I know this because of the feedback I have all ready received.



Just please use yahoo messenger to holler at me the nick there is the same as it is here. Thank you

 

[diedra13]

I think that editing your book would be interesting. I was a bit discouraged in the begining because you put so much emphasis on the freerider and so much negative. If someone is to put the time it will take to review a 500 or so page book that is an investment of time. I can get through reading stealthy and am an honors graduate of a masters program that studies human behavior. Perhapse in looking for editors you could put a quick what you are looking for in an editor...college educated or published/submitted writer for example. then you might get what you need instead perhapse of what you are getting that is not making you pleased. If you are interested please feel free to contact me...diedra13. I am on my email every day and will check if you will be checking this regularly. thank your for your time in listening to my suggestions
sincerely,
diedra13

 

[turner28]

I mentioned this because I am a open hearted person who tends to trust maybe too much at times. I have had MANY who have volunteered to do this - read and give me feedback - then once receiving the book they disappear. One in specific with book 1 - yes she read it, yes she LOVED it. The feedback was so few words it truly did not help me, however she offered with book 2 and I sent her a copy - MONTHS ago of draft 2. To this day I still have not heard from her and I have yahoo im'd her several times until I simply just removed her totally from my messenger.


So, if that particular comment offended it was not meant to. I felt burned honestly by this person and maybe 4 others. I trusted them with the books and although they did give positive feedback on the actual scenes when I asked about the back story they wished more to run an rp scene with ME instead of commenting on the book. These said people were recruited from an adult irc chat room - such is why their focus was NOT on the book itself.


I would love to have your read and provide feedback and thus far ALL that have contacted me on this I AM granting this to them. How they reply to book 1 shall determine if they will participate beyond that point.

When I say HOW, I mean do they actually give feedback good enough to assist me in guiding the remaining books. In book 3 there is much i NEED to do and much I wish readers to tell me what they would like to see. For book 4 I have much history to define, such history I would also like feedback for as the hints provide enough so that the reader should pick up on them.

*Book 4 though at this point may work out into 2 spearate books as I am finding the past that needs to be defined may not actually fit into one book very well.


Another thing I am considering is releasing Taylor's daily journal. All of the books mention her journal, have a few snippets from it, but would reader's like to see this actually out there? I cannot know unless they tell me ya know


Feel free to contact me on yahoo messenger. It has been acting up the last few days, but I am logging into it now as I have my morning coffee.


One thing I should mention, or wish to I suppose - I donated a copy of book 1 to my local library in March. The book has been checked out so many times that I just ordered a replacement copy for them. The first one I gave them is LITERALLY falling apart - which in some ways is a bit sad as it is only 1 of 2 existing copies of the first printed PROOF copies.

This should tell you as far as locally, that apparently someone is actually liking what they read enough to tell their friends - hey ya need to go check this book out!

Enough said. I do hope to hear from you and again apologize if the freeloader comment offended I should have defined what I meant when I originally posted it.

 

[JellyTug]

Wow, that sounds really, really amazing. I recently started writing erotic stories and would love to get into this genre but I have no real life experience.. so I have just been reading.
But if you would like I could definitely give you some feedback ;-)

 

[turner28]

Give me a holler on yahoo messenger - see my signature for how

 

[MissHolly]

Pick me

I would love to help you by reading your story and giving you feedback. I am an avid erotic story reader...and a collared slave.

 

[turner28]

just pop me on yahoo same id as here - btw proud to announce that book 1 and 2 have been accepted into Smashwords PREMIUM catalog!

Now available at top dollar bookstores