Seeking Feedback and Comments

[SandraElwin]

Hello everyone,

I'm looking for feedback and comments on my recently submitted story titled 'Of Friends & Lovers'. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated. It is a longer story categorized under the Novel & Novella section of the site. It is a contemporary romance erotic story versus a fetish, kink, fantasy tale.

Here is the link: http://www.literotica.com/s/of-friends-and-lovers

Your time, comments, & feedback are appreciated.

 

[PennLady]

I just read your story, and thought it was pretty well done. Your mechanics are good, which is nice, because it makes for a smoother read.

One thing that did strike me as "off" was the whole bit about Julie. She's mentioned at the beginning, but then not again, as far as I can see. It's fine that you want to set up your narrator as disappointed about not being able to see her, but then it's just dropped and suddenly he's all about Emily. Why bring up Julie if she doesn't figure in?

I'm also curious why you didn't put this in Romance, or Erotic Couplings. It's not really long enough to be a novel, and it doesn't look as though you plan any more chapters. All of that is fine, but if you had gone in Romance or EC, you might get more reads and/or comments.

 

[AMoveableBeast]

Your skills are admirable. I don't know that I found the story arousing, but perhaps that is on me. I think there are many who would. Regardless of my own attraction to the material, your writing is solid, and that's half the battle. I found the read enjoyable and easy.

Like PennLady, I think it would have been better served in another category. Perhaps it was an accident?