Seeking Editor - First Time Writer - Mature/Romance/Erotic Coupling Story
Hi all:
To all you hopeless romantics out there!
I’ve just written my first story to submit to Literotica. After many years of reading some amazing stories here, I’ve decided to try my hand at it. Would anybody like to volunteer to review my story? The word count, according to MS Word, is 8,941.
It’s a slow-building romantic plot of an older man and younger woman that naturally evolves into the only sex scene at the end. There are no under age characters at all. Music factors heavily into the storyline.
I have no formal education in story writing, and have used some of my favourite authors here to help influence me. I have always been proficient in English however, so hopefully it won’t be too painful to read!
I’ve tried the formal Editors’ Forum, but no one has responded back to me.
I’d appreciate any help I can get.
Here’s some excerpts from my draft:
The green overhead sign said “Charlotte 50 mi.”**My heart began to race and the adrenaline flowed, reviving me from my 14-hour driving marathon. At last! I was so close to finally seeing face to face the woman I had adored from afar. Even now I could see her stunning beauty in my mind and I glanced at my phone once again to see my favourite picture of her, that dazzling smile lighting up my world. Her picture is what kept me going through this thousand-mile journey from my town just east of Toronto, all the way down to North Carolina. Her wide generous mouth set in that warm grin, her sharp features framed by a corona of soft chestnut brown hair. And those eyes, oh my those eyes! Azure eyes, which were like the sky on a cloudless day, infinite in their brilliance..
…However, her looks were not the only reason I had fallen so deeply in love with her, not by half. It was her singing, her voice, THAT voice, which first drew me irresistibly to her. Low, rich, sultry and ethereal, her tone was simply unlike any other I’d heard before. I’ve heard other female singers with singular, outstanding tone and pitch control; able to own any song…
… The problem was, there was a vast difference in our ages. I was in my sixties, and she was in her early thirties. With part Asian blood, my friends constantly remarked I looked far below my age. I kept fit and had always been active…
… Suddenly the years melted away and we were just two people madly in love with each other. Our lips came together in a desperate, long overdue kiss. She tasted of strawberries and coffee, and I never tasted a better combination. It was a kiss of deep affirmations; unfulfilled longings and desperate hopes finally come true. Our tongues crashed together, and I felt like a teenager again with immediate arousal stirring within me.
Thanks…Joe
Hi all:
To all you hopeless romantics out there!
I’ve just written my first story to submit to Literotica. After many years of reading some amazing stories here, I’ve decided to try my hand at it. Would anybody like to volunteer to review my story? The word count, according to MS Word, is 8,941.
It’s a slow-building romantic plot of an older man and younger woman that naturally evolves into the only sex scene at the end. There are no under age characters at all. Music factors heavily into the storyline.
I have no formal education in story writing, and have used some of my favourite authors here to help influence me. I have always been proficient in English however, so hopefully it won’t be too painful to read!
I’ve tried the formal Editors’ Forum, but no one has responded back to me.
I’d appreciate any help I can get.
Here’s some excerpts from my draft:
The green overhead sign said “Charlotte 50 mi.”**My heart began to race and the adrenaline flowed, reviving me from my 14-hour driving marathon. At last! I was so close to finally seeing face to face the woman I had adored from afar. Even now I could see her stunning beauty in my mind and I glanced at my phone once again to see my favourite picture of her, that dazzling smile lighting up my world. Her picture is what kept me going through this thousand-mile journey from my town just east of Toronto, all the way down to North Carolina. Her wide generous mouth set in that warm grin, her sharp features framed by a corona of soft chestnut brown hair. And those eyes, oh my those eyes! Azure eyes, which were like the sky on a cloudless day, infinite in their brilliance..
…However, her looks were not the only reason I had fallen so deeply in love with her, not by half. It was her singing, her voice, THAT voice, which first drew me irresistibly to her. Low, rich, sultry and ethereal, her tone was simply unlike any other I’d heard before. I’ve heard other female singers with singular, outstanding tone and pitch control; able to own any song…
… The problem was, there was a vast difference in our ages. I was in my sixties, and she was in her early thirties. With part Asian blood, my friends constantly remarked I looked far below my age. I kept fit and had always been active…
… Suddenly the years melted away and we were just two people madly in love with each other. Our lips came together in a desperate, long overdue kiss. She tasted of strawberries and coffee, and I never tasted a better combination. It was a kiss of deep affirmations; unfulfilled longings and desperate hopes finally come true. Our tongues crashed together, and I felt like a teenager again with immediate arousal stirring within me.
Thanks…Joe
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