Seeking a hot lady for this...

[hatlover123]

I'm a man (the doctor confirmed this, got 76% on the test).
And as a man I have needs of a sexual nature.

After watching many episodes of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom I have realized I need to have this 'sex' thing. With females.

So I am requiring the attention and PMs of women on here.
But I have criteria:

Must have a wooden pegleg
Your left eye must twitch, bonus points if your left side shudders when discussing Mayan archaeology.
You can pick your nose with any finger, or toe.
Your breasts must produce chocolate milk.
In the last 6 months you must have buried at least 2 pots of gold for leprechauns.

If you qualify please don't hesitate to PM me.

I have a 22.8 inch penis.

Thanks for reading.

 

[jeninifer]

I'm a man (the doctor confirmed this, got 76% on the test).
And as a man I have needs of a sexual nature.

After watching many episodes of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom I have realized I need to have this 'sex' thing. With females.

So I am requiring the attention and PMs of women on here.
But I have criteria:

Must have a wooden pegleg
Your left eye must twitch, bonus points if your left side shudders when discussing Mayan archaeology.
You can pick your nose with any finger, or toe.
Your breasts must produce chocolate milk.
In the last 6 months you must have buried at least 2 pots of gold for leprechauns.

If you qualify please don't hesitate to PM me.

I have a 22.8 inch penis.

Thanks for reading.

Would you consider someone who has only buried one pot of gold?

Seriously, very funny.

 

[hatlover123]

Would you consider someone who has only buried one pot of gold?

Seriously, very funny.

Only if you made up for it in some other way.
Like, is Zoolander your movie bible? If so, then yes I'll accept the 1 pot of gold.

 

[jeninifer]

Only if you made up for it in some other way.
Like, is Zoolander your movie bible? If so, then yes I'll accept the 1 pot of gold.

How can we teach children to read if they can't even fit inside the building?

 

[SmileyGirl]

A 22.8inch penis!!!

Hmmm you should read this http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-vaginas

 

[hatlover123]

How can we teach children to read if they can't even fit inside the building?

Hmm...

Do you have the other half of this amulet I have around my neck for quest solving purposes?

 

[hatlover123]

A 22.8inch penis!!!

Hmmm you should read this http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-vaginas

Do you wish to be my sword holder?

That's what I got from the link.

Not really, its fascinating as I like IFLscience.

 

[jeninifer]

Hmm...

Do you have the other half of this amulet I have around my neck for quest solving purposes?

I do not.

"I am a stranger traveling from the East, seeking that which is lost."

 

[hatlover123]

I do not.

"I am a stranger traveling from the East, seeking that which is lost."

Only thing that could have topped that was a reference from Spaceballs

 

[SmileyGirl]

Do you wish to be my sword holder?

That's what I got from the link.

Not really, its fascinating as I like IFLscience.

Your 22.8 inch penis is just about 14.8 inches toooooo big!!!

 

[jeninifer]

Only thing that could have topped that was a reference from Spaceballs

So many choices. No way I could have picked the right one.

 

[hatlover123]

Your 22.8 inch penis is just about 14.8 inches toooooo big!!!

Would it help if I mounted it on one of those garden hose attachments. Where you crank the handle and it coils up inside it. So you can take out only what you want to use for future uses?

 

[hatlover123]

So many choices. No way I could have picked the right one.

Stop!

You had me at choices.

 

[jeninifer]

Why did you measure your penis in inches when you use the metric system?

 

[hatlover123]

Why did you measure your penis in inches when you use the metric system?

Many people are not of the right and truly righteous followers of the metric.

I spared them the tedious task of converting the numbers by doing it for them.

I trust you are swooning with this piece of information.

 

[SmileyGirl]

Would it help if I mounted it on one of those garden hose attachments. Where you crank the handle and it coils up inside it. So you can take out only what you want to use for future uses?

Eewwwww you have a pigs penis

http://i.imgur.com/vQWCu.jpg

 

[hatlover123]

Eewwwww you have a pigs penis

http://i.imgur.com/vQWCu.jpg

Men have always been pigs. So what's the shocker?

Pigs are affectionate and clean animals.

*Hint

lol

 

[SmileyGirl]

Men have always been pigs. So what's the shocker?

Pigs are affectionate and clean animals.

*Hint

lol

Soooo you're a pig man

 

[JudasIscariot]

I used to wonder how humans of ancient times drank wine with their meals.

Obviously they used a boar penis to get the cork out of the bottle.

 

[SmileyGirl]

I used to wonder how humans of ancient times drank wine with their meals.

Obviously they used a boar penis to get the cork out of the bottle.

Bwahaha

 

[hatlover123]

Soooo you're a pig man

Better then a dog yes?

 

[hatlover123]

I used to wonder how humans of ancient times drank wine with their meals.

Obviously they used a boar penis to get the cork out of the bottle.

The Wallaby one just has to hurt!

 

[SmileyGirl]

 

[hatlover123]

http://www.tdpri.com/telephoto/data/500/pigman.jpg

Pigman?

 

[JudasIscariot]

The Wallaby one just has to hurt!

The ram fucks and does a smear simultaneously.

Now that's evolution.