See the happy moron...

[secretme]

What's your favorite limerick/rhyme/altruism?


Mine:

See the happy moron
He doesn't give a damn
I wish I were a moron
My God, I think I am!
-unknown

You are old Father William
the young man said
and your hair has become very white
and yet you incessantly stand on your head
do you think at your age it is right

In my youth
Father William replied to his son
I feared it might injure the brain
but now that I'm old and I'm sure I have none
why I'll do it again and again
-Lewis Carroll

 

[starrkers]

I love Spike Milligan's verses. Here's a small sampling:

Rain

There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in,
But they're ever so small
That's why rain is thin.


Go North, South, East, and West, Young Man

Drake is going west, lads
So Tom is going East
But tiny Fred
Just lies in bed,
The lazy little beast

 

[neonlyte]

I love this Spike verse:

Bump

Things that go 'bump' in the night
Should not really give one a fright.
It's the hole in each ear
That lets in the fear,
That, and the absence of light!


ETA: The poem that convinced me I could never write poetry

POEM - by Eeyore

Christopher Robin is going.
At least I think he is.
Where?
Nobody knows.
But he is going -
I mean he goes
(To rhyme with "knows")
Do we care?
(To rhyme with "where")
We do
Very much.
(I haven't got a rhyme for that "is" in the second line yet.
Bother).
(Now I haven't got a rhyme for bother. Bother)
Those two bothers will have to rhyme with each other
Buther.
The fact is this is more difficult
than I thought,
I ought -
(Very good indeed)
I ought
to begin again,
But it is easier
To stop.
Christopher Robin, good-bye,
I
(Good)
I
And all your friends
Sends -
I mean all your friend
Send -
(Very awkward this, it keeps going wrong.)
Well, anyhow, we send
Our love
END.

 

[SweetWitch]

There once was a man from Bel Air,
Who was doing his girl on the stair.
When the banister broke,
He doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.

Author unknown

 

[voluptuary_manque]

There was a young lady from Norway
Who hung by her heels in the doorway
She called to her man
"Get off the divan,
I think I've discovered one more way!"

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Swear and write,
Your words profane,
But Fazbo Lupek,
Is my name.

-----F. Lupek.

 

[Boxlicker101]

To be honest about it, and to eschew false modesty, I prefer my own doggerel. Such as:

A Lass in Our Town
by Boxlicker101©

In our town, there once was a lass
With such an incredible ass
That all of the guys
Would stare in surprise
And drool ev’ry time she would pass

Or:

The Woman from East St. Moritz
by Boxlicker101©

A woman from East Saint Moritz
Was blessed with spectacular tits.
She wore a bikini
Incredibly teeny
And drove the men out of their wits.

Or even:

Bin Ladin's Reward
by Boxlicker101©

Bin Laden died while hiding and he went to Paradise.
“At last,” he cried, “I’ve traded in my cave for something nice.
Now bring on all the virgins I have earned since you know when.”
He saw a crowd approaching him and said “But those are men!”

George Washington came striding up, and slugged him in the nose.
And Thomas Paine attacked him in his quaint, old fashioned clothes.
James Madison, a little guy, just kicked him in the shin.
Tom Jefferson, a brawny man, unloaded on his chin.

The angry mob all joined in, beating him with clubs and sticks;
They stomped him and they kicked him and they bashed his head with bricks.
They beat him to a bloody pulp; they gave it to him good.
He couldn’t die, for he was dead; he only wished he could.

When God, or Allah, came on by and saw what had been wrought,
Bin Laden couldn’t speak but God responded to his thought.
“I told you what was here for you when you were fin’ly dead.
I said Virginians waited here. What did you think I said?

 

[Vermilion]

There once was a man from Devizes
Whose balls were of different sizes
One was so small
It was no ball at all
But the other won several prizes




There was a young woman from Ealing
Who suffered a very strange feeling
She lay on her back
And opened her crack
And proceeded to piss on the ceiling

 

[voluptuary_manque]

There was an old man from Pawtucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter Nan
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

 

[Boxlicker101]

There was an old man from Pawtucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter Nan
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

VM, he was from Nantucket. He followed Nan an the man to Pawtucket and retreived the bucket.

And so the old man from Nantucket,
He followed the pair to Pawtucket.
He said to the man,
"Just keep little Nan."
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

VM, he was from Nantucket. He followed Nan an the man to Pawtucket and retreived the bucket.

And so the old man from Nantucket,
He followed the pair to Pawtucket.
He said to the man,
"Just keep little Nan."
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.

There's one between those two to make a set of three but I couldn't remember the others. Thanx.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

LaJoke (c) by Zeb_Carter

There once was an ass called LaJoke
Who couldn’t find any friends
So he posted on Lit
The poor stupid git
And found that he really was a joke.

 

[gauchecritic]

More Spine Millington:

Forth from his den to steal he stole
His bag of chink he chunk
Many a wicked smile he smole
And many a wink he wunk.

*

Radi was a circus lion
Radi was a woman hater
Radi had a lady trainer
Radiator.