Secretly submissive? Why hello, nice to meet you.

[Thoggy]

It's a pleasure. Really, I mean that.

I can't think of anything that I find hotter than a strong, sassy, independent, and smart woman, who deep down in her private being, wants to be a submissive slut for a man.

Check that. The only thing hotter is a woman like that who actually starts to act on those desires.

Believe it or not, I think it has to do more with the strong, sassy, independent and smart bit than the submissive or slutty bits. I know that men get a reputation for wanting a girl to be dirty more so than we care about smarts, wit, sense of humour, etc. I think that is probably the case because as a general rule, it's true.

What is missing in that perception however, is the question as to whether we wouldn't prefer a smart, funny, cool woman who is also a complete whore for us?

I think that most guys - or at least those with a healthy ego who aren't threatened by women as equals - want the independent chick who also asks you to push her face into the pillows as you fuck her as deep as you can.

The funny girl who when you tell her your mom really liked her, asks if that means you respect her too much now to fuck her up the ass.

The smart girl who explains what just happened in the movie you are watching and finishes her explanation by announcing all this talking has made her thirsty and she needs some cum in her throat.

I suppose I could also equate what I am saying with the difference between professional porn and amateur porn. The pros are generally fit, with great skin and teeth, big dicks and perky tits, pussies so smooth and balls so hairless they look like mannequins. Athletic, impressive sex by most rational standards.

Yet you compare that to the amateur porn actors, with their imperfections, their real bodies, their sloppy, enthusiastic fucking...and there is no question which turns me, which makes me hard, which has me stroking my dick. Amateur porn (real amateur porn, not just pros with bad lighting) is sexy as hell because it means something still.

A smart, sassy, independent and funny woman who is also dirty when she feels comfortable with a man is something worth searching for. Something real that is in so many ways hotter than the dirty girl who bores you silly but will let you fuck her any way you want.

So for the secretly submissive women out there who don't equate that desire with any lessening of their own worth, I applaud you. I admire you and I absolutely want to be worthy of seeing that side of you.

If you feel like exploring that secret submissive side of yourself, sayhello. I promise to do my best to be the person to finally earn the right to see that side of you.

T

 

[girlfish]

I really enjoyed reading this... thanks.

 

[Thoggy]

You are very welcome. In return all I ask is that you post a nude picture of yourself with a detailed description of your hottest sexual fantasy. Uh..and your PIN. Um. And mother's maiden name.

 

[sillypanda]

Bump for you - because both those posts tickled me, and that deserves a good bump

 

[Nysalesman37]

I think

this thread needs a bump...

 

[Thoggy]

Look at you Litsters, giving a guy bumps without any prompting. Very nice.

A challenge with posting for women who are secretly submissive or dirty is that the chances of them opening up on the thread are pretty slim. I suppose that means this thread is less voyeuristic than some of my other posts.

I have had a couple of women PM me saying it struck a chord so I am glad for that. A common theme is the idea of not being judged for feeling that way, of feeling safe in revealing that aspect of themselves.

Let this be a lesson to all men...the depraved, erotic temptress you dream about may be closer than you think. Don't be an ass and be open to it and it may just show up.

I am here all week. Try the veal.

T

 

[sereneone4u]

A bump for the Thoggy

 

[Littletoo]

strong? Well, years and years of ballet and gymnastics, I'm pretty strong for my size.

sassy? Yeah, what YOU lookin' at? Fuck off!

independent? No, I don't have a boyfriend. Guys are too much trouble to keep around.

smart? Well, I graduated summa cum difficultia, but after purgatory in junior college I went on to two advanced degrees

wants to be a submissive slut? I took a BDSM test and flunked the "masochist" part, but my "submissive" score was off the chart, and I have my own handcuffs.

slutty bits? Okay, my street name used to be "Penis Breath," but that was years ago. I'm not like that now, I'm much worse.

 

[Thoggy]

Well, well well. Let's do this LT.

The strength was more referring to emotional or philosophical strength as I think that women who are grounded, who know (mostly) who they are, are the ones that are very much worth pursuing. That said, based on your other comments, I think you have that sort of stregnth in spades.

Sassy...god, how I love a sassy woman.

The independent reference was more to thought and action and I don't think having a bf or husband (or for that matter, gf or wife) means you are necessarily less independent. Again though, you don't seem to have much difficulty expressing your own view, which I love.

Smart certainly isn't measured only by education and I have as many smart friends amongst those who just finished high school as those who went to grad school with me. Without being too self-congratulatory, visiting Literotica rather than just watching porn means you have more of a literary bent than most, which I associate with being the smart.

Your own handcuffs? Well played LT...well played.

Much worse than when you were called Penis Breath? Colour me intrigued.

The only area that you may be lacking is the secretly bit. Do people around you know about your dirty side or is it hidden? I can't wait to hear about that!

T

 

[Littletoo]

Okay, the secretly bit:

Very few people know of my secret kinx. I teach ballet at university. Ballet is mostly French, and I speak French, so I do my classes all in French and the kids think I'm a prissy, stuck-up French Ballerina, until they hear me talking trash at Taco John's in my South Chicago accent. Most people don't realize that only gymnasts are more kinky than dancers, and I started in gymnastics. Besides, everyone in the know knows that FRENCH ballerinas are the MOST kinky.

Probably only five people in the real world know, and THEY wouldn't want to be outed by admitting they know me. At the other ballet schools where I teach the moms all want their daughters to grow up to be "Nice, like Miss Jamie."

When I'm sure no one is looking, I roll my eyes.

 

[kfoster1515]

Look at you Litsters, giving a guy bumps without any prompting. Very nice.

A challenge with posting for women who are secretly submissive or dirty is that the chances of them opening up on the thread are pretty slim. I suppose that means this thread is less voyeuristic than some of my other posts.

I have had a couple of women PM me saying it struck a chord so I am glad for that. A common theme is the idea of not being judged for feeling that way, of feeling safe in revealing that aspect of themselves.

Let this be a lesson to all men...the depraved, erotic temptress you dream about may be closer than you think. Don't be an ass and be open to it and it may just show up.

I am here all week. Try the veal.

T

Perfectly said. this.

 

[Jade_Riley]

You are very welcome. In return all I ask is that you post a nude picture of yourself with a detailed description of your hottest sexual fantasy. Uh..and your PIN. Um. And mother's maiden name.

Haha classic. And I really liked your first post Thoggy

 

[Scentofawoman]

How would you differentiate a woman with the characteristics you describe being truly submissive, to one who wants to give up control to a point?

 

[Thoggy]

Good question..and the answer is..WAIT, what is that over there?!

(Thoggy runs off and hides behind a tree.)

Actually, I don't know how much of an answer there can be to that question. A definition of "truly" submissive isn't likely to be agreed upon by all and it would seem to be a function of the desires of both the dom and the sub.

From my perspective, I am less concerned with differentiating between the two options you mention and more focused on a woman going beyond her current comfort level. This may mean going from being focused on her own needs and desires to more of a focus on her partner. It could also mean going from shy and nervous to begging for him to fuck her like a dirty little slut. Every situation is unique.

Personally, I get turned on at the thought of a woman whose own desires become highly tied into my desires. A woman who wouldn't normally care much for anal sex begging for my dick in her ass because she knows how hot I find it, and that makes it hot for her.

T

 

[Thoggy]

If only someone would post to this thread today, my Wednesday would become a hell of a lot better.

So...say hi.

T

 

[JasonDaniel]

I know I am a guy, and probably don’t belong in this thread; however, I do find it interesting. And being the case, I wanted to elaborate on a point that Scectofawoman made. However, when I first started typing this message, I used the anagram for Scentofawoman, which after typing “SOW”, I realized that might not be my best choice. But I digress. I think what Scentofawoman is asking: Are you looking for a woman who is strong emotionally; who is outgoing and in control of her life when she is on her own during the day and doesn’t need a crutch with a penis to stand on her own two feet; yet, thrives in yielding control to her man, or do you mean that you want a woman who is simply clingy?

 

[caged_doll]

Great posts on this thread, Thoggy. I enjoyed reading them!

 

[Thoggy]

Hey CD...

Glad you enjoyed the thread. This is awkward but I am going to have to ask that you now post something sexually explicit. My lawyer informs me that the conditions for replying to this thread clearly stipulate this fact. As he says "If you post, make that fucker dirty." On a side note, I am not sure he is actually a lawyer.

Regards,

T

 

[Lick_My_Kitty]

I find myself in this situation, not because I feel I need to hide my submissive tendencies, but because of my job. I'm a chef, I run a kitchen, and to say the least there is NO room for a submissive woman in there. My work soaks up most of my time, so the interactions I have with men do tend to have me coming off like a bat out of hell which I'm sure is just repellant.

Outside of the kitchen, I feel that where I'm not shrill, my personality is still terribly dominant, and I feel that the men I attract aren't at all dominant in the bedroom because perhaps they expect me to be that way?

It's quite sad honestly, and leaves me more then not unsatisfied with my sex life. Something I have to work on I guess

 

[blue80driver]

I find myself in this situation, not because I feel I need to hide my submissive tendencies, but because of my job. I'm a chef, I run a kitchen, and to say the least there is NO room for a submissive woman in there. My work soaks up most of my time, so the interactions I have with men do tend to have me coming off like a bat out of hell which I'm sure is just repellant.

Outside of the kitchen, I feel that where I'm not shrill, my personality is still terribly dominant, and I feel that the men I attract aren't at all dominant in the bedroom because perhaps they expect me to be that way?

It's quite sad honestly, and leaves me more then not unsatisfied with my sex life. Something I have to work on I guess

Sounds like you need to find someone who will break you a little bit outside of the works place. Get you to snap out of your tradition dominant role and to submit to him.

 

[curiouslittlesu]

Me to a T. Thank you for explaining it to me.

 

[simpletimes]

I find myself in this situation, not because I feel I need to hide my submissive tendencies, but because of my job. I'm a chef, I run a kitchen, and to say the least there is NO room for a submissive woman in there. My work soaks up most of my time, so the interactions I have with men do tend to have me coming off like a bat out of hell which I'm sure is just repellant.

Outside of the kitchen, I feel that where I'm not shrill, my personality is still terribly dominant, and I feel that the men I attract aren't at all dominant in the bedroom because perhaps they expect me to be that way?

It's quite sad honestly, and leaves me more then not unsatisfied with my sex life. Something I have to work on I guess

A very true statement, it has taken years for the industry, let alone the fellow chefs to accept women into the fold. I have been a chef for over 30 years, and I do remember the days when the women were strictly allowed to work the pantry or dessert stations.
It is difficult to put aside your true personality when working a kitchen, respect must be given to the chef. I feel for your dilemma. Many men would not understand how a woman can control an entire kitchen, but want to be controlled outside of work.

 

[kerryanna]

i feel a bit silly arguing over what someone else might have meant, but Jason Daniel, I think you oversimplified the distinction she was making (and obviously thoggy meant the former. at least it seemed obvious to me). but the difference in really being submissive and giving up control to a point is that real submission would be yielding control completely (and presumably enjoying that, regardless of what it meant happened next), whereas giving up control to a point would mean enjoying being the submissive partner so long as the dominant partner was dominating you in ways you liked.. I always think of it as the character trope of Petruchio/Rhett Butler.. he makes a strong woman enjoy being dominated because he knows what she wants better than she does.

as far as im concerned thats the dream partner, but ive yet to really find that. and it seems like its maybe what simpletimes is in need of as well. because when that submissive side really is a secret, you don't always attract dominant men. and then you find yourself in bed begging for something you arent ever going to get from that partner

i think im saying im up for being broken like blue driver suggested ;p

(and a side note, thoggy, i loved this bit "Personally, I get turned on at the thought of a woman whose own desires become highly tied into my desires. A woman who wouldn't normally care much for anal sex begging for my dick in her ass because she knows how hot I find it, and that makes it hot for her." ... probably mostly just because my interest in various kinks seems to be entirely dependent on the way other people get into them. to a point obviously.. but again, i guess that goes along with wanting a partner to know what ill enjoy better than i know!)

 

[simpletimes]

i feel a bit silly arguing over what someone else might have meant, but Jason Daniel, I think you oversimplified the distinction she was making (and obviously thoggy meant the former. at least it seemed obvious to me). but the difference in really being submissive and giving up control to a point is that real submission would be yielding control completely (and presumably enjoying that, regardless of what it meant happened next), whereas giving up control to a point would mean enjoying being the submissive partner so long as the dominant partner was dominating you in ways you liked.. I always think of it as the character trope of Petruchio/Rhett Butler.. he makes a strong woman enjoy being dominated because he knows what she wants better than she does.

as far as im concerned thats the dream partner, but ive yet to really find that. and it seems like its maybe what simpletimes is in need of as well. because when that submissive side really is a secret, you don't always attract dominant men. and then you find yourself in bed begging for something you arent ever going to get from that partner

i think im saying im up for being broken like blue driver suggested ;p

(and a side note, thoggy, i loved this bit "Personally, I get turned on at the thought of a woman whose own desires become highly tied into my desires. A woman who wouldn't normally care much for anal sex begging for my dick in her ass because she knows how hot I find it, and that makes it hot for her." ... probably mostly just because my interest in various kinks seems to be entirely dependent on the way other people get into them. to a point obviously.. but again, i guess that goes along with wanting a partner to know what ill enjoy better than i know!)

A very wise young lady you are. As for my statement I was only agreeing with lick on the hardship female chefs face when they do have a submissive side. Of course we all want our "dream" partner, but the reality is that most dreams do not come true. The only way for partners to enjoy themselves with each other is to be open and communicate desires. Many would be surprised at what a little communication can do.

 

[Thoggy]

I have said it before and I will likely say it again - what is wrong with you people?

I create a post hoping for a few monosyllabic responses and instead I end up with a reasoned, thoughtful and nuanced thread, full of people making good points.

I refuse to pander to such people so all I will say is that bitches love cock. Wait..is it the cock? Do bitches love the cock? Sigh..let's say both. Bitches love cock and the cock. Christ, now I sound like an idiot. Perfect.

Thoggy "The Bitches Love Cock of the Cock" Thoggatopoulos