Searching for cuckold Mentor

[betamale30]

In long term relationship with girlfriend and have secretly had a cuckold fetish for the better part of It . It started a few months into dating her years ago i randomly met this guy Dave online and after talking to him for long time we realized we he knew my girlfriend before i met her. He told me a few stories about them hooking up and ever since then i haven't been able to get her being with other men out of my mind. It was so confusing for me because i felt like i should have been offended and angry about what he was telling me, and that a normal guy would want to kick the guys ass. But then here i am secretly getting turned on by his stories.

She is so secretive about her sexual past and her fantasizes that i feel like she would never be open to something like this. She personally is a jealous person so i feel like she won't understanding wanting to share someone if you truly love them. I have such a fear of her being freaked out and thinking I'm weird or crazy and It ruin our relationship. I love her and dont want to lose her but feel like she deserves to be sexually satisfied.

Its hard to me to be able to explain It all to her when I'm so confused about alot of It myself. I cant talk to anyone i know about any of this so thought maybe i could get some advice here.

Maybe you have been a Bull before for other couples or a cuckold that wants to help me through this since they have been through It before.. Hope to get some insight on how to handle all this in a very confusing time.

 

[betamale30]

The first thing you have to do is get honest and open communication going with her. I know that can be very difficult. Without her being into it and onside with the idea it won't go anywhere. It's worth exploring though. She may harbor secret taboo desires like you do and with a little coaxing might be very turned on to share those fantasies with you and then ultimately make them a reality. Adding a third partner to a sexual encounter can be very erotic and satisfying as long as all 3 parties are totally into it.

I guess i am being a hypocrite not being honest with her about my fantasizes and expecting her to confess her sexual past to me and talked to me about being with other men. Its easier said then done though, i have to find a way to get the courage to do It

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Glad you found your way over!

As said, communication is key - finding the trigger to bring it up and wording it in a way so she might even find the idea appealing will be key.

In some ways, it is about her - giving her the freedom to fulfill her own sexual desires and needs, and not just about your fantasy of getting off on it all. Perhaps that is one angle of getting her buy in - not sure what others may think about it...

 

[policywank]

The most important part of communication is listening. You need to learn about what she wants. But you also need to learn more about your own feelings - your comments suggest that you have a lot to do on that front.

It is normal to feel jealousy. But why would you think that you should feel offended and angry much less inclined to kick this guy’s ass? Was he being disrespectful of her or was he abusive? If so and those things turned you on then you probably need to come to grips with that as there is a real possibility that your gf won’t share your desires. If not then you need to think about your influences and how they affect your view of the situation - in particular what kind hammer-headed, douchy, self involved dickheads have taught you that you are supposed to want to assault your girlfriend’s past sexual partners (unless as noted above they mistreated her)?

Either way you need to figure out your own perspective. Then understand hers. And then (and only then) start to talk about what you both want.

The best way to communicate around that is to talk about broad concepts and belief systems (as opposed to specific possibilities). Talk about an article on non-monogamy. Talk about the importance of accepting one’s self and your partner’s past. Talk about love and sex and how they relate to each other. Talk about whatever it is that makes you think it is up to you to beat up her ex hook ups and why women hooking up should or shouldn’t be regarded any different than a guy hooking up.

Listen and learn before you start trying to convince her or yourself of anything.