Scousers

[R. Richard]

I just discovered scouser jokes. Scousers are people from Liverpool, UK. The jokes are rather nasty and demeaning. Perhaps some of you UK people could fill in some detail. TIA.

What do you say to an employed scouser? "Big Mac and fries, please."

What do you call a scouser wearing a suit? 'The accused.'

What do you call a scouser woman wearing a white jogging suit? 'The bride.'

Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool? 'Because if it walked, it would get mugged.'

 

[Handley_Page]

I just discovered scouser jokes. Scousers are people from Liverpool, UK. The jokes are rather nasty and demeaning. Perhaps some of you UK people could fill in some detail. TIA.

What do you say to an employed scouser? "Big Mac and fries, please."

What do you call a scouser wearing a suit? 'The accused.'

What do you call a scouser woman wearing a white jogging suit? 'The bride.'

Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool? 'Because if it walked, it would get mugged.'

Oh Dear.
These are not merely addressed to scousers; almost any 'minority' group generally regarded by the majority as 'dumb' have jokes like this.
For example:
What do you call a scouser wearing a suit? 'The accused.'

The first time I heard this one, it was referring to the non-Caucasian Englishman, who seldom wore anything other than "casual" clothes; usually fashionable amongst the young unemployed. So to wear a suit puts him either at a posh wedding (hardly possible), or in the dock (much more likely).

What do you say to an employed scouser? "Big Mac and fries, please."

Unemployment is a big theme running through these jokes, either due to being thick or having a bad schooling /parenting /whatever. ANY job is something, even serving a big mac.


Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool? 'Because if it walked, it would get mugged.'[/QUOTE]

Good play on words, this one and reflecting the high crime rate.

What do you call a scouser woman wearing a white jogging suit? 'The bride.'

I've not heard this one, but I suspect it reflects the choice of clothes for a certain group. The idea of a Wedding Dress simply would not have occurred to the Bride.

------------
Every nation has a joke for some select group; In the 1960s, I was told about Neuf jokes. In England there are always jokes about Paddy or Jock.
Jokes in the North of England tend to regard 'the South' (as in south east - London) as a different class of human. Some of those jokes are Very pointed.

In Eastern Europe it was the Bulgars who were the butt of these jokes.

Political Correctness has deprived us of some very good humour. And that is, to some extent, rather sad.

 

[Guest]

We use those same jokes to describe drummers.

 

[R. Richard]

What was surprising to me is that nasty jokes about a group of people tend to address people who are far away. The Russians have Chukchi jokes, it's my understanding that the English have Isle of Man jokes, in the USA we used to have Brooklyn jokes. However, the jokes were more used the further away you got from the group of people.

 

[manyeyedhydra]

Harry Enfield, a British comedian, used to run a series of sketches lampooning scousers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qamVB4ixxGs

As with most British humour, it's fairly equal opportunity in that everyone's a target

 

[R. Richard]

Harry Enfield, a British comedian, used to run a series of sketches lampooning scousers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qamVB4ixxGs

As with most British humour, it's fairly equal opportunity in that everyone's a target

I really prefer the subtle humor of Benny Hill. Was he a scouser?

 

[manyeyedhydra]

I really prefer the subtle humor of Benny Hill. Was he a scouser?

Don't know. He was a little before my time.

And subtle? Benny Hill was famous for sketches where he got chased around by groups of women

I think that kind of seaside humour is pretty much gone from British telly nowadays.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I really prefer the subtle humor of Benny Hill. Was he a scouser?

I really liked Benny Hill too, but I wouldn't call him subtle. Usually, either he was chasing a girl or she was chasing him. His show was pretty vulgar, which was one of the things I liked most about it.

 

[Boxlicker101]

What was surprising to me is that nasty jokes about a group of people tend to address people who are far away. The Russians have Chukchi jokes, it's my understanding that the English have Isle of Man jokes, in the USA we used to have Brooklyn jokes. However, the jokes were more used the further away you got from the group of people.

The Brooklyn jokes were mostly about the accent or the Dodgers, who have been in L. A. for over fifty years.

 

[oggbashan]

A (partial) Scousers' Alphabet:

Alphabet

There are also many Essex Girl jokes. There are more in the links at the end.

For the Wiki interpretation: Essex Girl.

Og

 

[bronzeage]

What was surprising to me is that nasty jokes about a group of people tend to address people who are far away. The Russians have Chukchi jokes, it's my understanding that the English have Isle of Man jokes, in the USA we used to have Brooklyn jokes. However, the jokes were more used the further away you got from the group of people.

The target group has to be close enough for the jokes to be relevant.

There is an area below New Orleans known as Chalmette. It is where the US Army, under the command of Andrew Jackson explained how it was going to be, to the British Army. The women of Chalmette are called "Chalmatians', to rhyme with Dalmatian. All the Essex girl jokes have been applied to the Chalmette girls.

 

[Handley_Page]

What was surprising to me is that nasty jokes about a group of people tend to address people who are far away. The Russians have Chukchi jokes, it's my understanding that the English have Isle of Man jokes, in the USA we used to have Brooklyn jokes. However, the jokes were more used the further away you got from the group of people.

I've never heard jokes about the Isle of Man population, but I guess there are some somewhere.

Benny Hill - subtle ?. About as subtle as a flying brick in the face.
He always had pretty girls (often not wearing a lot) in "silent movie" sketches which were very funny but which would today be regarded with horror (particularly by the PC brigade).

And Essex Girl jokes (sometimes simply 'blonde') still abound.

The Fire, Police and Ambulance crews were gathered round a a small sports car in a pub Car Park in Dagenham, Essex, wherein were trapped a man & a woman. It became apparent that the man had 'done something to his back' whilst making love with the woman owner of the car and was unable to move at all.

Eventually, the Fire Brigade had to get their cutters out and chop off the roof of the car.

Finally, the man was carefully moved to the Ambulance and the medic asked her if she wanted to go with the man to the hospital.

"Not on your bleedin' life", she retorted, "what am I gonna tell my 'usband about 'is car?"

 

[oggbashan]

I've posted it recently but if you missed it:

Flanders and Swann The English

Og

 

[Handley_Page]

I've posted it recently but if you missed it:

Flanders and Swann The English

Og

Heard, nut not seen; many thanks Og.
Brilliant.