Scores from the first round of judgement

[Unmasked Poet]

Poets it got ugly! Fights broke out amongst the judges. It was worse than a UN Security Council meeting. Damn Russian judge showed up drunk on Stoli, bitch slapped the French judge. Turns out the French judge liked it and spent the rest of the session in bondage. Britain as always stayed crouched beside the American judge, murmuring "what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?" China took the long view and passed around Red Army issued condoms, lube and toys. Just as things calmed down the Chinese judge noticed the "Made in Taiwan" stamp on the leather goods and refused to flog anyone. The American laughed and cried, "At last I'm not getting fucked on a trade deal."

.......................Russia Great Britain ...France ..China ..United States
Alltherage............2.............4..............3..........4...............3 (3.2)

Ded Poet.............3.............4..............2..........4...............3 (3.2)

KillerMuffin...........3.............4..............3..........5...............3 (3.6)

Cyberguy.............2.............4..............2..........4...............4 (3.2)

Drake..................3.............3..............3..........3...............2 (2.8)

Vailyn..................2.............3..............2..........4...............3 (2.8)

Smithpeter...........5.............3..............5..........5...............2 (4.0)

REDWAVE.............2............3...............4..........3...............4 (3.2)

Tigerjen...............1............3...............1..........2...............5 (2.4)

WickedEve...........4............5...............4..........4...............5 (4.4)

Perky_baby..........3............4...............4..........3...............5 (3.8)

SA Storm.............4............4...............5..........5...............2 (4.0)

Lovetoread...........2............3..............2...........2..............5 (2.8)

Mskittykatt............2...........3..............1............2.............3 (2.2)

Savage Kitten........3...........3..............3............3.............5 (3.4)

These contestants poems had infractons and are not elligible.

Dillinger.................2...........3..............2.............2............3 (2.4)

Daughter...............4...........4..............4..............5...........4 (4.2)

Katpurrs................3............4.............4..............3...........4 (3.6)

WickedEve
Smithpeter
SA Storm

Make the medal round.

 

[Savage Kitten]

*clapping hands*

YEA! Congrats to you guys!!

haha UP! Who knew you had such an awesome sense of humour?? hehehe j/k No, really tho, that was so funny it had me rolling haha

I wonder who the U.S. judge was? They loved me, they really loved me!! hehe

Sk~

 

[perks]

congratulations !!!!! this has been great fun.

perks

 

[KatPurrs]

ROFLMAO!!!!!

OMG U.P., you are a freakin' riot! LOL!!

Great contest! Thanks so much!

Congrats WE, Smithpeter and SA!

Kat~

 

[Ded Poet]

rotflmao

congrats to the finalists...

UP, you the man.

DP

 

[smithpeter]

blushing

This is indeed an honor and great pleasure to be not only alongside SA, but to be below W.E. Here's hoping her thumb is as wicked as her tongue.
It was a great field of talented, thoughtful and sensuous participants.

Cheers to U.P.

 

[tigerjen]

Good luck to the finalists!
(WickedEve.....kick some A-S-S!)

 

[SA Storm]

[No message]

 

[WickedEve]

US Judge

I slept with the US judge and I got a 5!
SA and smithpeter received 2s. Obviously, you two didn't put out. lol


Eve

 

[daughter]

Congratulations

finalists

Peace,

daughter

 

[tigerjen]

I think its funny that WE is the only female out of the little
group to make it into the final round......which is real
cool.

Girl Power, in my opinion!

 

[TheDR4KE]

Congrats everyone, not just the finalists ;-)

And particularly congratulations and thank yous to UP for all his work in inspiring us to put in the time to write.

Drake

PS UP - what poem of mine did you end up selecting?

 

[Vailyn]

congrats

Kewl kewl, that didn't take too long.

Congradulations to everyone, winners and losers all. =)

UP! Loved the intro. You should do more of that.

-Vailyn

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Thank you

This has been a great deal of fun for me also.

Vailyn, I do that intro or something like it everytime I critique a poem, ho,ho,ho read the New #1 thread. Now that intro to Killer Muffin is a real knee slapper.

Tigerjen, why is it funny that Wicked is the only female, could it be because men are a rare commodity of the poetry forum? Besides had daughter not been bumped Smithpeter and Storm would have needed a playoff or something for third. I believe Perky and was only .2 behind. Beside you guys (women) dominate this site, and while I shouldn't say it the judges panel only had 1 male.

Go ahead now I love a catfight!

WickedEve by her own admission cheated, she slept with the U.S. Judge. Where do you think all that lube went? And were still missing toys!

Drake, I chose my favorite, "Fared to well" which didn't seem to help you. (sorry)

 

[TheDR4KE]

Re: Thank you

Originally posted by Unmasked Poet
This has been a great deal of fun for me also.

Glad to hear it.

Drake, I chose my favorite, "Fared to well" which didn't seem to help you. (sorry)

No worries Interesting that you should chose that one, as I think it's the most modern by far, probably the most demanding on the reader...

Thanks again

Looking forward to the next round. We get to pick teams this time, right?

Drake

 

[Dillinger]

I'm confused. What exactly is this the score to? What poem? Our "heavy" submission or some other? Just wondering...

 

[lovetoread]

Congrats ya'll.

But what were the infractions that made those ineligible?



Psst...


How did you find out who to sleep with, hmmm?

 

[Whispersecret]

This has been so interesting. I did a little tally of my own and noticed that the US judge and I differed a couple of times by three whole points. That's quite a gap in a 1-5 scale! I so much want to know who it is so I can debate the merits of the ones I liked.

Congratulations to the winners.

I know that TJ was just encouraging her fellow woman, but I don't like to think that the sex of the poets has anything whatsoever to do with the outcome. (WE's doling it out, notwithstanding!)

 

[Dillinger]

Actually - that's a good point. I'd like to know what infraction made my poem ineligible? Once again - more curiousity than anything else - especially if we are talking about Heavy Silence - (and I'm assuming its Heavy Silence that was rated rather than She Ain't Heavy?) - I don't personally see that Heavy Silence in any way violated the requirements of round 2. Not that it changes anything, considering the score it got anyway... *lol*

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Reason

Dillinger, all five judges voted unanimously on your poem. After consideration they felt the poem did not address the topic of breakup or parting.

U.P.

 

[REDWAVE]

I protest!

Sheesh, as if it's not bad enough with Bush and his secret military tribunals, now here comes along UP & his secret poetic tribunals! UP, I'm gonna sue you so I can do some discovery and force you to make full disclosure of the identity of the judges. Inquiring minds wanna know!


The Russian judge should have recused himself from voting on me. Since Russia recently went back from communism to capitalism, obviously the Russian judge was prejudiced against me. The Chinese judge giving me only a 3 shows how the Stalinist bureaucracy in China betrays the cause of genuine communism. I'm not surprised by the French judge giving me a 4-- they like me in France-- but what blows my mind is the American judge giving me the same rating. Our success at infiltrating the government must be greater than I thought.


Seriously, I enjoyed participating; thanks to all who read and voted on my poem; and good luck to the three finalists.

 

[Dillinger]

Re: Reason

Dillinger, all five judges voted unanimously on your poem. After consideration they felt the poem did not address the topic of breakup or parting.

U.P.

Interesting. I quite disagree... kind of a subjective judgement, don't you think? Is there an international court of appeal? Or is the ruling of the judges absolute and binding? *lol*

Well - I at least hope that the mystery judgesr votes were based on the quality of the poem and not whether they thought it met the criteria.

Either way - doesn't look like it even came close anyway. Must be the banned substances I've been imbibing. Methinks its time I took up boxing instead.

 

[smithpeter]

A point made earlier.

Several participants submitted more than one HEAVY entry.
Some have asked which poems where chosen for voting on.
Is that a question?

 

[Whispersecret]

Dillinger, I hate to bring up why I don't think your poem qualifies as sticking to the subject of parting. The last time I tried to establish my opinion (about one of your poems being non-erotic), you doggedly pursued the topic to highly unlikely scenarios in order to get me to concede your point. By the way, you didn't convince me.

Your poem talked about desolation, but nowhere in it that I could find did it refer to the desolation being caused by a break up or parting. Perhaps if it had, the judges would have accepted it. But I can only speak for myself and what I see.

 

[Dillinger]

Unlikely to you perhaps... but not to me. Logic is logic. If you can take something to an extreme - yet still within the bounds of reality - and the logic doesn't hold up then the logic is faulty. You have every right to think that the poem we were discussing was not erotic. And I've got every right to think it was. Its too subjective for you to prove it isn't erotic. You don't have to like it. You don't have to think its erotic but I can think so and I know a couple others who have thought so.

Likewise the requirements for this round:

"Construct a poem addressing the break up or parting of a relationship it can be mean or nasty, poignant or funny. The format is wide open..."

The poem is about how I felt after the breaking up of a relationship. Are you going to tell me that the way I felt after the relationship was over is invalid? "The format is wide open..."

This is the guidelines we were given. The only other guidelines were the disallowing of certain words - which I was very careful not to use in the poem.

I will maintain that my poem followed the rules, as stated. It can be the worst poem you or anyone ever read - but it did follow the guidelines which were vague enough to be open to interpretation. Which comes full circle to our debate about what's erotic and what's not. Who is to say that my interpretation or anyone else's is any less valid than anothers?

WS - I adore you - but you're wrong. *grin*

I'm not trying to be difficult. And I hope no one thinks that I'm being "petty." That is not my intent. However I feel quite strongly that disqualifying this work is purely subjective and, in itself, quite petty - quite snobby - quite "I know better than you do" - etc, etc, etc. Again - it can suck. I don't think it does, but I won't argue that with anyone. Critique it, rip it apart, judge it on its merits or lack thereof. But don't tell me that it doesn't follow the "rules."

End rant.

Edited for spelling only.