Scared to admit...

[Stiffy Says...]

... a couple years ago, my ex gf got me to admit something I had wondered about for a few months - I wanted her to try a strap on on me. Shortly after, she left (likely not for that reason).

Since then, I have dated a woman, and the first couple times we had sex, it was good, but then I yearned, yearned for a strap on, and lost interest in her (for other reasons - we did not click well).

Since being single again, I have caught myself curious about the feel of another person's cock in my hand, or the feel of it in my mouth - just once - and a passable shemale - not a regular looking guy.

Am I a freak? I am so scared to act on this since I live in a relatively small city (less then 2 million, seems I run into people I know everywhere) and now my parents live not too far away.

I fear being gay (thanks fucking conservative religion and your fucking judgemental attidues of damnation for those not like them). There - it is out there. I love pussy, but gotta admit, the taste of my own come turns me on like no one's business.

Help!!! I need to know I am not some freak, and by all means, what do I do?

 

[sachiaiko]

Aww cutie, you arent a freak for certain! Trust in yourself, in the feelings you have, and dont be afraid to explore via the internet, and then if/when you feel comfortable exploring in the real world then you can take that leap when you get to it.

Many many men feel as you are describing, and many females have gone through similar if not quite exact situations.

You arent a freak, you just dont fit into most molds. So, make your own mold. Thats the fun part anyhow.

Goodluck, cutiepie.

Nikki

 

[fenderman68]

Hey...if you're a freak, then so am I. So you're not alone.

I just admitted to my wife the other day that I would love to have a sexual experience with another guy. She said the idea turned her on. She has used dildo's on me in the past, and I too have tasted my own cum and enjoyed it. I have to say, I've never felt so free as I do now that I've admitted it to her and myself. And the idea of not comforming makes it even more of a turn-on for me.

Whether you act on this or not.....never limit yourself to the ideas of others.

 

[Stiffy Says...]

thanks...

...you two really helped me to calm down. I mean, I know rationally that I am not too weird, but for some reason in my head, it sounds so much more crazy and scary.

I think I fear judgement way too much. No hell, I know I do.


Sachiaiko - love the AV and the name.

 

[John Doe]

Re: thanks...

...you two really helped me to calm down. I mean, I know rationally that I am not too weird, but for some reason in my head, it sounds so much more crazy and scary.

We are our own worst critic. that's why it's always good to have a sounding board.

...I fear being gay [but] I love pussy...

IMO, those last three words speak volumes. I seriously doubt you're gay.

 

[Etoile]

While normally I don't endorse labeling - people should love whomever they want! - I think a label might be helpful for you. You can find out that there are people like you. I would suggest that you are bi-curious.

Now you have something to search on and find people in similar situations.

See also http://dmoz.org/Society/Gay,_Lesbian,_and_Bisexual/Bisexual/ for links about bisexuality.

 

[bob159487]

.

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

Explore on the internet as said here before. Once you are comfortable and want a rl experience save a little cash and meet someone in a near by big city. You wont feel the worry that you will run into someone you know. Just an idea for you.

Also there are many a toy you can use to help with your fantasy in the privacy of your own home.

 

[fenderman68]

Explore on the internet as said here before. Once you are comfortable and want a rl experience save a little cash and meet someone in a near by big city. You wont feel the worry that you will run into someone you know. Just an idea for you.

That's really the sad part about this, isn't it? Worrying that someone you know might find out. It's a shame that those of us that are more sexually open-minded have to hide this from friends and family that won't understand because of the homo-phobic society we live in. I know there is not one person in my life, other than my wife, that I can talk to about this. Thankfully there are wonderful people on here that will listen and give support. I guess all I'm trying to say is, you are in good company here my friend.

 

[south_florida_bicur]

Scared to admit

Stiffy,

When I read your post I actually laughed. I was in the same boat you are wondering about who I am and what these urges mean.

Like others said "You are not alone".

I too thought i was alone until I turned on my computer. Search the internet and you will find SO many people just like us BUT watch out for those that are fakes.

I never thought about having sex with toys or another guy until I met this gal. I am more open minded in the sexual department. I also learned alot about people and what they are thinking. This has helped me out alot. I hate labels that society put on us.

My advice would be to explore your curiousities online. Read and talk to others. Just remember to talk to someone that is not looking for sex. These are the people that you can learn from. You will talk to guys that tell you they are curious and have no experience but then they want to meet you that same day. Watch out for these people. They are the fakes I mentioned before. BI-Curious men are a little more hesitent / nervous to meet someone right away. They tend to want to get to know the person before the meet.

Be careful and do your homework

As fas as sex toys go I wrote a story in the "How To" section that might help. I just share my desicion and buying process.

GOOD LUCK and remember you are SOOOO not alone.

 

[Stiffy Says...]

Thanks

it is very nice to hav e some support on this issue, and your responses are taken to heart.

Has anyone else had the issue where they have these feelings, but only once every few months they get the courage to even acknowledge them, maybe act on them, just to have fear take over; but not till after getting baby steps closer to experimenting?

I wish you all happiness and love in your lives,

Stiffy

 

[millman96]

Re: Thanks

it is very nice to hav e some support on this issue, and your responses are taken to heart.

Has anyone else had the issue where they have these feelings, but only once every few months they get the courage to even acknowledge them, maybe act on them, just to have fear take over; but not till after getting baby steps closer to experimenting?

I wish you all happiness and love in your lives,

Stiffy

Hey Stiffy,,
I for one know exactly where you're comming from. It's just really hard to take that first step out in the real world. I have had several incounters here on lit with other men and find them very erotic at the time. Then I find myself asking the same questions as you, the next day. I feel it's something deep inside myself, that when the right situation comes along, I will be ready to explore and keep an open mind about.

You are in the right place. All the folks here at lit are very understanding and helpfull.

Good luck. The main thing is don't be in a big hurry and let things come together naturaly. Everything happens for a reason.

Millman

 

[cj2000]

Re: Thanks

Has anyone else had the issue where they have these feelings, but only once every few months they get the courage to even acknowledge them, maybe act on them, just to have fear take over; but not till after getting baby steps closer to experimenting?

Well, over the past year my bi-curious fantasies have become more frequent. I don't check guys out in public or feel the need to ask any out, but that fantasy is there. To tell the truth, it scares me. Doubt I'll ever act on it though.

 

[fenderman68]

Re: Re: Thanks

Well, over the past year my bi-curious fantasies have become more frequent. I don't check guys out in public or feel the need to ask any out, but that fantasy is there. To tell the truth, it scares me. Doubt I'll ever act on it though.

I feel the same way. Though I hope some day to act on them.

 

[purpleflower]

I hope you are lucky enough to find a woman who will help and support you in your bi desires. I am so glad my hubby finally told me about his. You definately aren't a freak! Find what you are comfortable with and go with it. I'm 34 married with 2 kids. My hubby and I just confessed to each other that we are bi and I am feeling so free with myself I went out and got my nipple pierced. Just go with the flow and enjoy life!!!
Wife of Fenderman68

 

[LarzMachine]

Help!!! I need to know I am not some freak, and by all means, what do I do?

If it feels good and you're capable of it, do it. Fuck what anyone else thinks. Most people are just animals anyway.

 

[SadieRose]

I hope you are lucky enough to find a woman who will help and support you in your bi desires. I am so glad my hubby finally told me about his. You definately aren't a freak! Find what you are comfortable with and go with it. I'm 34 married with 2 kids. My hubby and I just confessed to each other that we are bi and I am feeling so free with myself I went out and got my nipple pierced. Just go with the flow and enjoy life!!!
Wife of Fenderman68

Good on you purpleflower


Hope it doesn't sting too much *kiss*

My lover of the last fifteen years has always adored having his arse cherished. I know for a fact that he has sexual desires for other men and I have never denied him that.

In the same vein he has never asked questions about my relationships with my girlfriends.

We'll probably never want to live with anyone else, but at the same time it's good to know that there are other options out there. And that we can talk about them.

Never be afraid to follow your desires.