Safeword/signal when gagged and bound

[Orange Devil]

So I'm about to meet my girlfriend in real life for the first time and we will definately be trying a lot of stuff out (yay for us!). However there's one thing I've been wondering about and still haven't managed to find a solution for:

Her being submissive she ofcourse has a safeword and we'll figure out an appropriate safety signal as well for when she's gagged. However, I'm pretty much stumped about what to do when she's gagged and tied up. This is something we definately want to do and since we're both inexperienced in most of this stuff, I find making sure we have a safety line to be very important. Some object she can easily hold in her hand with a button that is easy to press (yet preferably hard to press accidentially) that emits a sound that is impossible to miss would be ideal. Unfortunately the only thing we have that fits that description is a pen that plays christmas music when pressed, which is just inappropriate really.

So like I mentioned, I haven't been able to figure out any other sort of object we have or could easily acquire for this purpose. Hopefully someone here has an idea, it would be very much appreciated. Any other ideas to help with the whole 'bound and gagged safeword' situation would ofcourse also be appreciated.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Keys.

Shake the keys to communicate 'yellow'. Drop the keys to communicate 'red'. Or something like that.

 

[Orange Devil]

Could be useful in some situations but less so if she is laying on her stomach with hands on her back I think. Nice idea though.

 

[nh23]

Would she be able to use her fingers to give you a signal? Like hold up one finger for yellow and two fingers for red?

 

[BiBunny]

I always used the "snap your fingers if you have a problem" thing.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Even when gaged it is possible to emit a very high pitched squeal..almost nasal. If she can breath, she can squeal.

 

[SirLeo]

Yes But

Even when gaged it is possible to emit a very high pitched squeal..almost nasal. If she can breath, she can squeal.

I just love it when m squeals! Squealing is probably not a good safe signal.

 

[Orange Devil]

Would she be able to use her fingers to give you a signal? Like hold up one finger for yellow and two fingers for red?

I'd prefer something with sound so I can be sure not to miss it to be honest.

 

[xPinkxStarsx]

I always used the "snap your fingers if you have a problem" thing.

Not everyone can snap though. I know I can't and I'd be screwed is that was the safeword thing.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I just love it when m squeals! Squealing is probably not a good safe signal.

I'm talking about a high pitched eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee type of squeal that hurts your ears. Doesn't sound erotic at all.

 

[BiBunny]

Not everyone can snap though. I know I can't and I'd be screwed is that was the safeword thing.

Yeah, I should've said that you have to make sure the other person can snap first before you do it.

 

[littleone77]

I have always been partial to a bell. A small hand bell that can be hung onto and rung if you need the attention.

 

[midwestyankee]

I'd prefer something with sound so I can be sure not to miss it to be honest.

I understand your preference for an audible signal - but do understand that when she is both bound and gagged her health and safety are entirely in your hands. You should paying such close attention to her that you're aware of every breath she takes, every change in her physical state, and certainly any signs of distress. You shouldn't allow yourself to become so distracted by anything that you'd miss a hand signal for more than a couple of seconds.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Dropping a small rubber ball.

Easy to clench in the palm of the hand, will be obvious when released.

Ummnn then 'ask' her how she is

 

[Orange Devil]

I understand your preference for an audible signal - but do understand that when she is both bound and gagged her health and safety are entirely in your hands. You should paying such close attention to her that you're aware of every breath she takes, every change in her physical state, and certainly any signs of distress. You shouldn't allow yourself to become so distracted by anything that you'd miss a hand signal for more than a couple of seconds.

Ofcourse, I'd just rather not even risk those few seconds.

 

[northwoods_sub]

We do hand signals generally something along the lines of me opening and closing my fists in quick succession.
The key is to be very aware of where she is mentally during the scene. Sir will very regularly check on me and ask if I am okay to make sure that I haven't sunk too far into subspace to be able to give him an accurate portrayal of where I am.

 

[midwestyankee]

Ofcourse, I'd just rather not even risk those few seconds.

That's my point. If you restrict her to the extent that she has no way at all to communicate with you in a manner that you will notice, then you will have to rethink your plan.

 

[Incompleteidea]

I don’t mean to sound out of line. But you said this is your FIRST time meeting in RL. Maybe it’s more prudent to save something like this for a second or third meeting. Yes, I’m sure you want to try it all with her and I’m sure she feels the same. But you seem apprehensive, and if this isn’t something you feel completely comfortable with chances are she won’t either. It might be better to wait until you know her body language better. Know how much she can generally take first being bound then gagged before whipping them both out. You need to be very aware of her at all times, making sure she’s not pushing her self to much as well.

 

[twysted73]

I'd choose a squeaky cat/dog toy.

 

[JMohegan]

So I'm about to meet my girlfriend in real life for the first time

I agree with Incompleteidea. My advice is to spend time getting to know her physically, paying close attention to the way she looks, sounds, and moves in response to various types of stimuli, before you spend a lot of intense play time with her gagged.

Particularly if both of you are new to kink, establishing physical intimacy while providing ample opportunity for verbal feedback will most likely give both of you more confidence in what's going on.

Plus - truly, audible responses to play can be most delicious.

As for non-verbal "safewords" - when necessary, I have always used a metal bell in the shape of a ball that fits in the palm of her hand. These are easy to find in craft stores. They're used for reindeer harnesses and sleighs and such. A big jinglebell - that's what I'm talking about here.

 

[CookiePuss]

I agree with JMohegan & Incompleteidea.

You really need to know and be completely aware of her during play. With this being your first time with her, it's important you are able to recognise changes in her. There is a high level of trust involved and I think it will better for both of you if perhaps you discuss what verbal and physical signals she will be most comfortable using and also what you will definitely notice.

When gagged, I use a small ball that lights up and squeaks when I squeeze it.

 

[Orange Devil]

I agree with Incompleteidea. My advice is to spend time getting to know her physically, paying close attention to the way she looks, sounds, and moves in response to various types of stimuli, before you spend a lot of intense play time with her gagged.

Particularly if both of you are new to kink, establishing physical intimacy while providing ample opportunity for verbal feedback will most likely give both of you more confidence in what's going on.

Plus - truly, audible responses to play can be most delicious.

I completely appreciate this advice, and that's definately how things will go, but since we're meeting for 3 weeks we will probably at some point want to try alot of things out. Since we have discussed these things often we're fairly sure we'll do this at some point during those 3 weeks, but when it comes to some way of her letting me know something isn't 100% right I'd rather be a bit too much on the safe side then a bit too much on the overconfident side, hence this thread.

 

[Netzach]

I stole this idea from one of the most talented pros I knew.

three short sharp LOUD sounds through the nose imitating a buzzer, a really annoying buzzer sound. There's no mistaking it - I use it for an "immediate release" signal with hooding/gagging.

 

[graceanne]

Actually a combination of a lot of these, one of the cat toys with balls in them. If something happens, you just release it and it'll fall and make a crap load of noise as it goes.

 

[sexycaz22]

Interesting thread.......it will help me for the upcoming play session with my lovely man.

But what happens if the Dom(me) is deaf or have a hearing loss? How can it be improved with the hand signals?