Safe Sex

[TheEarl]

The Coalition for Positive Sexuality

This is copied from Sweet's thread about Sex Education, because I'm very curious to see what the AH as a whole (rather than those interested in Sex Ed) think about this matter.

The CPS are very big on Safe Sex. This, I'm very happy about, but they go to an alarming amount of depth. To follow all their recommendations would have no bare skin touching anywhere near the genitals. Medical gloves for fingering, plastic wrap as a barrier when eating someone out, even when married(!). I know that there are huge risks of STDs, but this seems to be a little a) paranoid and b) joyless.

Not to feel her quivering under your touch, not to taste her, not to smell her scent? That's reducing us to just two senses, something which even cybersex can provide.

Am I being incredibly naive? I'm not a rake and, although I'm damned sure using a condom if I'm not in a very long term relationship, I can't see my response to "Lick me" being digging in the drawer for my plastic wrap.

What do people think?

The Earl

 

[impressive]

I noticed that, and found it rather ... well ... sterile. Further, I would think that plastic wrap would carry its own safety hazards (in addition to not necessarily being sterile).

Geesh!

 

[yui]

I agree, sex without the intimacy of taste and smell and skin on skin just doesn't appeal. It would depend largely on the sexual habits of the individuals, I suppose, but in a committed relationship, if I've got to be swathed in plastic wrap and he's wearing gloves and goggles as precaution every time we have sex, I think I would rather masturbate.

Luck,

Yui

 

[English Lady]

Sex is about trust, when you trust someone you feel able to take little risks...giving a coondom free blow job or not getting plastic wrap involved in sunnilingus is one of those little "risks"


I think in a commited relationship birth control and STD control just isn't such an issue.

It is sensible to take precautions when first meeting someone of course but plastic wrap?


Like Imp said, surely thats dangerous?

 

[impressive]

... if I've got to be swathed in plastic wrap and he's wearing gloves and goggles as precaution every time we have sex, I think I would rather masturbate.

Yup. Me, too. (And I absolutely REFUSE to put a condom on my vibe!)

 

[TheEarl]

Oh, that's good to know. I had visions of you all saying "Of course we take those kind of precautions. Don't you, you dirty bugger?"

The Earl

 

[English Lady]

I like dirty buggers!

but good point about the vibe too Imp!

Sex is meant to be dirty and messy and noisy and scent filled right? (scent filled sounds better than smelly *L*)

 

[impressive]

Like Imp said, surely thats dangerous?

Here, kids! Put this plastic bag over your head and try to breathe!

 

[minsue]

I noticed that, and found it rather ... well ... sterile. Further, I would think that plastic wrap would carry its own safety hazards (in addition to not necessarily being sterile).

Geesh!

Not sterile, but not likely to pass on more than a stomach bug.

I can understand why some would use a dental dam (or plastic wrap). I agree that it's about trust, though, and if I can't trust the person I'm with NOT to pass on a disease (meaning they don't care enough #1. to get tested & #2. to tell me) then that's not someone I want to be fucking.

Not the brightest attitude, but I've been amazingly lucky so far.

 

[TheEarl]

Sex is meant to be dirty and messy and noisy and scent filled right? (scent filled sounds better than smelly *L*)

Aromatic? Maybe even pungent?

The Earl

 

[English Lady]

pungent seems about right (thanks I've not got my writing head on today *L*)

 

[jfinn]

The CPS are very big on Safe Sex. This, I'm very happy about, but they go to an alarming amount of depth. To follow all their recommendations would have no bare skin touching anywhere near the genitals. Medical gloves for fingering, plastic wrap as a barrier when eating someone out, even when married(!). I know that there are huge risks of STDs, but this seems to be a little a) paranoid and b) joyless.The Earl

Why don't they just take it to the next step and tell you to buy a blow-up doll and be done with it?

Life is risk. Being smart about those risks and reducing them to the bounds of reason is one thing ie. condoms, spermacide and taking the time to know your partner, but this smacks of paranoia. It also could easily reduce one of lifes great intimacies into something devoid of any meaningful contact. I mean really, if this is the kind of sex I want, I just buy a blow up doll and be done with it.

Jayne (who doesn't like the taste of plastic)

 

[TheEarl]

God, I can just imagine the authors of this site's reaction to a game of rugby.

"You've got a cut on your forehead. You can't carry on playing with a bleeding wound."

<leave field for 30 seconds and have water sponged on it>
<Come back on>

<30 seconds later... cut is bleeding again>

The Earl

 

[impressive]

Why don't they just take it to the next step and tell you to buy a blow-up doll and be done with it?

Well, they do practically jump up and down cheering for masturbation.

 

[LadyJeanne]

The best sex, in my opinion, is when you're free to touch, taste, smell, see, hear and fuck freely. Every layer of latex or plastic or what-not you add is one more layer between you. Encasing yourself in plastic (unless that's your kink ) is hardly the same experience, and in my opinion, hardly worth doing. If you're that concerned about catching something from a person, how can you even relax enough to enjoy the person and yourself?

I've never used anything for protection except condoms. I'm not a 'hooking-up' type of person, so I trust that my partners wouldn't put me at risk because they care about me. If I don't trust them to do that, I probably don't trust them in other ways either and wouldn't have sex with them anyway. That might be a foolish belief on my part, but I've not been hurt so far.

The only reason I would use the the additional plastic is if someone I'm with actually has an STD that can't be cured.

 

[dreampilot79]

Methinks I need to buy a condom for my computer.. hmmm a large plastic garbage bag? I know Lady Jeanne is infectious... is it considered a STD to fall madly in lust with her beauty grace and intelect?

Does that mean that I must cover my puter with the afformentioned bag? Or can I continue unprotected?

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

A better question, I think, is how many of these precautions that we're considering "too far" would we be inclined to suggest to areas suffering epidemics of STD's like Africa? Most? Nigh-all?

Isn't this a contextual matter, then? We, secure in our developed nations, need no such guidance from those stuffy people with their "rules for sex"... but are there people who do need it?

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Not sterile, but not likely to pass on more than a stomach bug.

I can understand why some would use a dental dam (or plastic wrap). I agree that it's about trust, though, and if I can't trust the person I'm with NOT to pass on a disease (meaning they don't care enough #1. to get tested & #2. to tell me) then that's not someone I want to be fucking.

Not the brightest attitude, but I've been amazingly lucky so far.

I think we agree on this one, Min.

Luck really is a lot of what got me by so far.

No itching or rashes or other ailments (not even crabs, as much as I joke otherwise). But honestly, as much as those things suggested o the site are extreme compared to what we want to do, they're the safest way. No one will ever do them all, but they're being made available, and that's a good thing in my viewpoint.

As for trust...

Well, let's face it, trust gets us in over our head without us even knowing it. [Non-lit. related rant]I get tired of hearing this word (though the reason why has nothing to do with anyone here, and I'm not being accusatory, promise). "You're supposed to trust, you're supposed to trust..." Isn't that one of those things people are supposed to earn? Does everyone forget that? [/non-lit. related rant]

Sorry, had to get that off my chest...

Q_C

 

[wildsweetone]

TheEarl-The CPS are very big on Safe Sex. This, I'm very happy about, but they go to an alarming amount of depth. To follow all their recommendations would have no bare skin touching anywhere near the genitals. Medical gloves for fingering, plastic wrap as a barrier when eating someone out, even when married(!). I know that there are huge risks of STDs, but this seems to be a little a) paranoid and b) joyless.

I'm cringing just imagining reading or writing a story with all these precautions. I wonder if it would appeal more to males or females... It sounds like something from Outer Space or some medical program. The person being wrapped up would of course also be tied, I can't imagine anyone actually willingly participating in Sterile Sex.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Methinks I need to buy a condom for my computer.. hmmm a large plastic garbage bag? I know Lady Jeanne is infectious... is it considered a STD to fall madly in lust with her beauty grace and intelect?

Does that mean that I must cover my puter with the afformentioned bag? Or can I continue unprotected?

I think just wearing surgical gloves and a gauze mask and goggles would be enough.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Methinks I need to buy a condom for my computer.. hmmm a large plastic garbage bag? I know Lady Jeanne is infectious... is it considered a STD to fall madly in lust with her beauty grace and intelect?

Does that mean that I must cover my puter with the afformentioned bag? Or can I continue unprotected?

It may not be an STD, but it might be foolish to fall in lust with me. After my recent adventure in love and sex, I've wrapped myself in bubble wrap and duct tape and no one is getting through.

 

[BlackShanglan]

*shrug* Personally, I think it's a good argument against pick-ups and casual sex. While I agree that these sorts of precautions kill intimacy and pleasure, I also think them the only real answer to sex with a partner whose medical and sexual history are unknown to you.

There's a thrill in being "bad," but it entails risks. The issue that most posters have mentioned - trust - is key to more than disease transmission, and is the foundation of sexual pleasure in more than the physical sense. One can, of course, attempt to replace that with thrills and danger, which do have their pleasures. But they also have their consequences. Attempting to evade those consequences entirely is generally - as we see The Earl's site - enough to ruin all of the pleasure of it as well.

Shanglan

 

[TheEarl]

A better question, I think, is how many of these precautions that we're considering "too far" would we be inclined to suggest to areas suffering epidemics of STD's like Africa? Most? Nigh-all?

Isn't this a contextual matter, then? We, secure in our developed nations, need no such guidance from those stuffy people with their "rules for sex"... but are there people who do need it?

Interesting point. I know of someone (friend of a friend) who went to East Africa, bought the services of a local prostitute and had just about every kind of sex with her without any protection. My reaction to that was he's taking his life in his hands. Maybe my reaction to the idea of surgical gloves was because of my economic and global situation.

The Earl

 

[SeaCat]

A better question, I think, is how many of these precautions that we're considering "too far" would we be inclined to suggest to areas suffering epidemics of STD's like Africa? Most? Nigh-all?

Isn't this a contextual matter, then? We, secure in our developed nations, need no such guidance from those stuffy people with their "rules for sex"... but are there people who do need it?

Joe,

Yes in some ways it is a contextual matter, for adults. If I recall though this site and other like it were created as a sex education tool for kids in school. With that in mind, and the fact that these diseases are out there, it is a good thing the kids be taught this.

Hell where I live, Palm Beach County Florida, we have the fastest growing rate of HIV and TB in the United States. These rules could be very usefull here, and not just for the kids. (Too bad these sites aren't in Creol.)

As far as Africa and other developing areas where diseases are rampant, yes these rules and ideas would be a big help. As would proper sanitation, proper medical care, and other form of education. (But that is another matter entirely.)

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

Not sterile, but not likely to pass on more than a stomach bug.

I can understand why some would use a dental dam (or plastic wrap). I agree that it's about trust, though, and if I can't trust the person I'm with NOT to pass on a disease (meaning they don't care enough #1. to get tested & #2. to tell me) then that's not someone I want to be fucking.

Not the brightest attitude, but I've been amazingly lucky so far.

If I can't trust them then I'm not touching them.

Cat