Sad in Cyber

[naughtyassistant]

Has anyone ever hooked up here and felt a connection with someone but had you face slapped when they told you it was just for a fuck?

What do you do?

 

[KinkyBoyUK]

Has anyone ever hooked up here and felt a connection with someone but had you face slapped when they told you it was just for a fuck?

What do you do?

its not an easy situation, the same can happen in real life as on here. its sounds like its not something you can can change *HUGS*

 

[rej_133]

Sorry to hear about what happened with you naughty. I guess it's just that we need to be more careful about letting ourselves get attached to someone, online or in real unless we know for a fact that we both want the same thing.

 

[EricShields]

All anyone can do is pick themselves up, dust themselves off and move on. It sucks, especially when you felt like there was a connection, but you'll hit off with someone else just as well, trust me.

 

[Billiebov]

well, i guess it depends on if you both agreed it was something more or if there was a lack of comunication on one or both sides. you can't blame yourself if you were lied to, but you need to be honest with yourself and ask if there were a lot of signs that you chose to ignore. sorry if that's mean, just trying to be honest.

 

[becky87]

this is a good point. i guess i shouldn't have expectations when i chat with guys online. sort of new to this but hope to learn how to enjoy the cyber company without having real life problems about it.

hugs to naughtyassistant

 

[RawHumor]

Has anyone ever hooked up here and felt a connection with someone but had you face slapped when they told you it was just for a fuck?

What do you do?

Just like real life, don't let him fuck you on the first date unless you're only looking to fuck. If he puts the time in to get to know you, then the chances that he'll just cut and run should decrease.

Of course, I'm generalizing, but...

 

[boese_ami]

Just like real life, don't let him fuck you on the first date unless you're only looking to fuck. If he puts the time in to get to know you, then the chances that he'll just cut and run should decrease.

Of course, I'm generalizing, but...

wholeheartedly agrees

 

[monique1971]

naughtyassistant, I'm sorry you were hurt. It's happened to many of us. You're not the only one. Maybe that's cold comfort, but it might help a little.

What do you do? I don't know, there's no easy answer. I try to enjoy the moment and to not take anything anybody says too seriously. It's true that there will always be those people who, for one reason or another, will get to me, but more often than not, keeping my expectations low (very, very low) keeps me from getting hurt. That, and reading the writing on the wall.

Top 5 Warning Signs (in no particular order)

1) Refuses all efforts to turn conversation to something other than sex.

2) Cross-examines you about your bust size, sexual preferences, etc., but without offering any information about his own body and preferences.

3) Excessive, unasked-for information about his body, but no information otherwise. E.g. you'll know the exact dimensions of his penis but nothing else about him.

4) Tells you, within minutes of meeting you, that you should a)get a cam so he can see you; b) send him your panties; c)talk to him on the phone (I exclude here interactions formed for the express purpose of camming, panty exchange, or phone sex. In those cases, people are upfront about what they seek and are willing to give. I am talking about early "getting to know you" chat that suddenly turns into this series of "here's what you should do in order to gratify me sexually" demands.)

5) Keeps insisting that he really, REALLY needs to cum right now, as if that is your responsibility to address on the basis of a few Lit PMs or five minutes of chat. Call his bluff by saying, "Sounds like you need to cum! I'd better let you go so you can jerk off!" and see what happens.

I know I sound kind of like a bitch but honestly, if you don't get a little cynical you end up getting hurt. That said, there are so many wonderful people on Lit. Try not to get a lot cynical.

 

[HornyProf]

What Monique said

sounds good. Also we need to be aware of the illusory character of internet relationships. It seems to me that is altogether too easy to project qualities onto people we only know from words on a screen.

 

[xxfactor]

Actually sounds like a pretty good arrangement to me.

 

[Lurnk]

Top 5 Warning Signs (in no particular order)

1) Refuses all efforts to turn conversation to something other than sex.

2) Cross-examines you about your bust size, sexual preferences, etc., but without offering any information about his own body and preferences.

3) Excessive, unasked-for information about his body, but no information otherwise. E.g. you'll know the exact dimensions of his penis but nothing else about him.

4) Tells you, within minutes of meeting you, that you should a)get a cam so he can see you; b) send him your panties; c)talk to him on the phone (I exclude here interactions formed for the express purpose of camming, panty exchange, or phone sex. In those cases, people are upfront about what they seek and are willing to give. I am talking about early "getting to know you" chat that suddenly turns into this series of "here's what you should do in order to gratify me sexually" demands.)

5) Keeps insisting that he really, REALLY needs to cum right now, as if that is your responsibility to address on the basis of a few Lit PMs or five minutes of chat. Call his bluff by saying, "Sounds like you need to cum! I'd better let you go so you can jerk off!" and see what happens.

This is great advice and it all works for me.

#5 is a kicker, right? This sense of entitlement to a virtual helping hand after a simple chat is mind-boggling--and funny.

But yes, as Monique said, good people do post here, so don't let one twit get you down.



Lurnk.

 

[andrewchin11]

you move on... it's hard, but bail

 

[richard_daily]

I've been told by someone fairly recently that she wanted to be involved with me, her words not mine, but she failed to tell me that she wasn't over her ex and now she thinks that she "shouldn't be seeing anyone", which to me is veiled code for "I want to sleep around". Se la ve, too many fish in the sea, and all that jazz. Don't let it get you down. As for the advice that it's best not to rush into anything you want to become serious, I second that. In addition, communicate. Too few couples do it. Make your thoughts and desires be known (not just sexually desires). Make sure you're on the same wavelength BEFORE hooking up.

 

[Spinoza]

Its been a while

I think you should post his name and or email address if you have it. Im a guy but there are enough dumbasses out there mucking it up for the rest of us that I dont mind jumping on them.

PS I find the list that was posted a bit condisending

 

[darkvoid]

Top 5 Warning Signs (in no particular order) ...

Monique,

Thanks. Haven't done any of these behaviours yet but then I'm very new here. I'll take care to avoid them.

 

[RawHumor]

PS I find the list that was posted a bit condisending

How was it condescending in any way? It was just a list of warning signs. She didn't imply that all or even most men act that way.

 

[Lurnk]

Actually sounds like a pretty good arrangement to me.

If anything, naughty, you at least discover who to avoid--albeit one post at a time.



Lurnk.

 

[littleone77]

Something similiar happen to me only in reverse. It was suppose to be straight up cyber and we both stated that fact in our very first conversation. However that wasn't what he heard. The ass thought that he could be different and could make me want rl. As if *rolls eyes*. He also was a pro at mind games.

My advice: Listen to each other and state, clearly and more than once what is going on.

Also, find a cyber buddy...some one who understands, you like, is fairly reliable and both of you realize the situation.