Sabledrake's Greek mythology tales -- feedback welcome!

[Sabledrake]

I've always been fascinated by Greek mythology, and a thread on the Story Ideas board a couple of months ago inspired me to write the following:

"Pasiphae" -- in which the wife of King Minos is struck with obsessive passion for a divine white bull.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=98590

and its sequel:
"Ariadne" -- in which a princess of Crete meets the Minotaur of the labyrinth.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=101163

Of course, after having so much fun with these, now I'm tempted to write a third one about Theseus! Or an entire series -- these myths are packed full of intruiging sexy scenarios

At any rate, here's my two latest efforts. As always, comments are welcome!

Sabledrake

 

[hiddenself]

This stuff is very close to my heart. But your take is not consistent with how I think of Minoan Crete.

I'll start with mentioning Mary Renault's book, "The King Must Die." That's about Theseus really, but a large part of it is devoted to the Minotaur-Ariadne myth. Now, that's a powerful and at times very erotic book and captures the essense of those times (at least as I picture them).

My problem with your story is that the atmosphere does not make sense. I know that the traditional myth is that Minotaur was a half-man-half-bull monster who devoured the young men and women sent as tribute to Crete. But that's the simplification. In reality, the Minoan civilization was very refined, effeminate to a certain extent. Mary Renault's portrayal (although, by no means a historical account), is much closer to the truth.

Arts and enjoyment of life were very important in the palaces of Minoan Crete. This does not come across in your story. In fact, your writing sort of gives a picture of a semi-primitive, crude, small-time boorish village setup. Nothing of the refinement and luxury of the palaces (bright colors, running water) or of the culture comes across.

Bull-dancing, in particular, was a form of highly appreciated art in Minoan Crete. The few surviving wall paintings of Knossos only hint at how fair and stylized that art was. Accounts are scarce, but bull-dancing appears to have been practiced by (mostly) foreigners, citizens of subject/allied nations but not slaves. The high castes of Cretans just watched and enjoyed. The Minotaur story probably has more to do with bull-dancing and religious and sociocultural politics, than with man-eating monsters. Unfortunately none of all the possible nuances show up in your story.

The next thing is that your portrayal of the social environment seems to also be off. The king and high functionaries were basically invisible to the masses, always hidden, always shrouded in mystery. Successive kings took the same name of "Minos," to give continuity to the position. Also, as far as we know, morals and sexual roles in Minoan times were pretty liberal and women's positions (at least in the higher castes) were probably not much inferior to men's. This might have had to do with the left-over traces of the Mother Earth religious practices that were still strong in Minoan civilization.

So, all in all, the main problem for me was that none of all that life comes across in your story. What you've written could have happened anywhere, it's too generic. It's like writing a Star Wars novel where Luke "may-the-force-be-with-you" Skywalker behaves like Arnold's "I-will-be-back" Terminator or something.

hs

PS I've always thought that the abandonment of Ariadne by Theseus in Naxos (on the way back to Athens from Crete) has the potential for a great fiction writeup. It leaves open lots of possible threads regarding characters' motivations and lots of issues can come up. Even in terms of Lit parlance, it can be a very fertile ground:
- Ariadne in love, with Theseus either sincere or calculating
- mighty Dionyssus who takes what he wants
- wild religious ceremonies involving sex
Romance, erotic couplings, non-consent, D/s, voyeur, group sex, could all fit.

 

[Guest]

I've always been fascinated by Greek mythology, and a thread on the Story Ideas board a couple of months ago inspired me to write the following:

"Pasiphae" -- in which the wife of King Minos is struck with obsessive passion for a divine white bull.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=98590

and its sequel:
"Ariadne" -- in which a princess of Crete meets the Minotaur of the labyrinth.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=101163

Of course, after having so much fun with these, now I'm tempted to write a third one about Theseus! Or an entire series -- these myths are packed full of intruiging sexy scenarios

At any rate, here's my two latest efforts. As always, comments are welcome!

Sabledrake

I enjoyed both of your mythical stories and yes, they were indeed, packed full of intruiging sexy scenarios. I read one story after the other—such an amazing feat to keep my interests that long, mind you. Go ahead and give into your temptations and write the third one. I'd be interested in reading it.

Well done Sabledrake!



neonurotic

 

[Sabledrake]

hiddenself > thanks for the insights on Minoan history. I've seen examples of the bull-dancer art. The Renault book sounds interesting and I will keep an eye out for it.

neoneurotic > glad you liked them!

Sabledrake

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Well, you already know what I think, 'Drake - you're swell. *laugh*

But now that you have Ariadne up- I'll go read that....

miss blue pen

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Ariadne is awfully good, C. Pasiphae's derangement, word choice, flow- all great. I myself am not bothered by liberties taken with mythological stories. I think it is the author's province- artistic license. I'm not talking about Roman soldiers wearing wristwatches or anything but within the bounds of fleshing out Greek legends, I say, go f*cking nuts. The writing is worth it, and overcomes any willing suspension of disbelief issues.

mlle

 

[Sabledrake]

Centurions in sneakers ... I saw something like that once in one of those epic casts-of-thousands period pieces ... guy running by in one of those strappy leather kilt things and what looked suspiciously like tennis shoes

Thanks, Mlle ... I had a lot of fun with those myths!

Sabledrake

 

[Guest]

WHEW!

 

[Sabledrake]

Thank you ... and I like the new av, rhinoguy!

Sabledrake

 

[MooncatX]

Ariadne

Gorgeous piece *^_^* - Lyrical, sensual, lush both in the erotic and the emotional expressions.

And I have a thing for bull men *^_^*

Always enjoy your work, and playing with legends and folklore is as near and dear to my heart as erotica, and here is a delicious blending of both. If you do a series of these it will be my delight to read them.

Mooncat
>^,,^<