Russian dolls of vulnerability

[Blue]

Late to this I know.
Your health issues make you fatigued right? An alternative possibility could be that you're just getting better and the physical/mental setbacks of fatigue and whatever else, which I guess would take you off of people's radars, are less noticeable than they used to be.

 

[JoanneA]

That is a good feeling.

 

[JoanneA]

GB mistake = overcooking a pork roast. Maggie mistake = showing up to work blacked out and throwing racks of dishes. Your reliance on electronics is alarming.

Guess what I'm making for breakfast?

 

[JoanneA]

No wait, don't. I'll post it on facebook.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LucyBee01]

Thank you for sharing Elle. I too am trying to be more open when things are difficult, with the right people. As you say, that might not mean spilling my guts to them, but not pretending everything is wonderful either.

What do you mean when you identify yourself as a unicorn, or have unicorn attitudes, Elle? If you don't mind sharing... It is just I have an idea of what I think a unicorn is, but it might be quite different

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LucyBee01]

Yes it is

Ok, that is really interesting. Will digest that a little. Definitely different to what springs to my mind if someone mentioned "unicorn' in a kink context - I generally see it being referred to as a rare and hard to find third person (usually female) who is single, that a couple or poly group is looking for to join them in some sort of relationship.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Blue]

Hey, I had a thought while reading through;
So if you're a Unicorn, does that mean G is a Narwhal?

https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/shrinknp_800_800/AAEAAQAAAAAAAAdiAAAAJGUzYTc0ZGE4LTE4YmYtNGI1MS1iYzNmLTI0YmE1OWQyZTBmNA.jpg

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Kimikimidoll]

That is kind of my mantra too. I had trusted that person, my decision, my judgement- so I have partly myself to blame if I get hurt.

But I feel doing this adds a fresh scar every time I lose. Skin thickens, becomes avascular, colder- and slowly it becomes hard to let anyone in, and then I wonder if I'm being another kind of crybaby by being too cold. A cold cry baby...weird.

Vulnerable- it's such a delicate word but I know what weight it carries. Elle (is that your name? lol, just one letter away from mine), I'm glad you found someone you can truly be vulnerable with. I'm glad for you not out of selflessness, but selfishness- because if you found someone, maybe there's some hope for me as well.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Kimikimidoll]

Hahaha (about G not being poly)

When I was a teen my mom told me something about love. She said, it's impossible to love only one person at a time, and it's impossible to constantly love somebody all the time.

It was a big blow to hear my straight laced mom say that, and even worse to hear this after being conditioned to believe in 'the one and only'.

Then I realized later her words were meant to take a great load off my back; so that I would not feel guilty of my feelings, or be 'beholden' in a relationship, or to help me move on and accept other people's decisions as well. I could say that's my definition of polyamorous (although I know it isn't the 'real' definition.) I can flirt with and love anyone I want, but I can choose one to be my constant companion.

I want to know, what's your definition of being polyamorous?

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LucyBee01]

That is kind of my mantra too. I had trusted that person, my decision, my judgement- so I have partly myself to blame if I get hurt.

But I feel doing this adds a fresh scar every time I lose. Skin thickens, becomes avascular, colder- and slowly it becomes hard to let anyone in, and then I wonder if I'm being another kind of crybaby by being too cold. A cold cry baby...weird.

Vulnerable- it's such a delicate word but I know what weight it carries. Elle (is that your name? lol, just one letter away from mine), I'm glad you found someone you can truly be vulnerable with. I'm glad for you not out of selflessness, but selfishness- because if you found someone, maybe there's some hope for me as well.

Have you read the Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams? A quote I thought relevant:

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Kimikimidoll]

Have you read the Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams? A quote I thought relevant:

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

I loved this- thanks!

So as I suspected all along; I'm not real! Whooo!

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Awesome thread, peeps.And perfect timing.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Blue]

Lovely and heartwarming story.
Also, I can't reply to you because you've exceeded your message storage.

 

[SquishyBits]

Have you read the Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams? A quote I thought relevant:

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

This is just what I needed to hear. The road to becoming my real self can sometimes be painful. I'm sure I have heard similar sentiments a thousand times in a hundred different ways. But here now, this is the one that has struck home and found the weak spot in my armor.

 

[LucyBee01]

This is just what I needed to hear. The road to becoming my real self can sometimes be painful. I'm sure I have heard similar sentiments a thousand times in a hundred different ways. But here now, this is the one that has struck home and found the weak spot in my armor.

I am glad

I find becoming more real to be sometimes scary, sometimes painful. Sometimes I like to try to hide. But less and less so nowadays and I now have a partner I can be real with, utterly laid bare.