RU any good at inventing metaphors?

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Raymond Chandler was prolly the best.

Here's one: THEY WERE ABOUT AS EXCITED AS NIGGER LOOTERS IN A LIQUOR WAREHOUSE.

 

[trace_ekies]

She had a mouth that could suck a golf ball through forty feet of hose.

 

[colddiesel]

Raymond Chandler was prolly the best.

Here's one: THEY WERE ABOUT AS EXCITED AS NIGGER LOOTERS IN A LIQUOR WAREHOUSE.

Not a metaphor methinks?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Not a metaphor methinks?

Its an Obama Metaphor. Things are what I define them.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Not a metaphor methinks?

Yeah, pretty sure that's a simile.

 

[SecondCircle]

Metaphor, simile... I use them often when I talk, I suppose.

Happy as a puppy with two peters.

Skittish as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Fighting like two cannibal midgets in a fat guys rib cage.

(After saying something that someone doesn't get) Staring at me like I had a dick growing outta my forehead.

(A wimp) Bout as aggressive as a bag of kittens.

(When something won't sit well with anyone) That'll go over like a turd in a punch bowl.

(Talks too loud, too much) He's got more mouth than a baboon has ass.

Stuck up like a dick in a butt.

Madder than a legless Ethiopian watching a doughnut roll down a hill. (Not mine I swear)

(Really hungover) Feel like a bag of smashed assholes.

...Probably lots more I've used but that's off the top of my head.

 

[walkerlong]

No, I'm not good at all. My writing is a straight, smooth highway of literalism.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Its an Obama Metaphor. Things are what I define them.

"Similes, metaphors, who cares," says Humpty Dumpty; I get to define things around here.

Shit! That may really be a metaphor! Or is it a fuckin' allegory?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

"Similes, metaphors, who cares," says Humpty Dumpty; I get to define things around here.

Shit! That may really be a metaphor! Or is it a fuckin' allegory?

Its depends on who's the master.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Its depends on who's the master.

Filamentous muriatic desiderata to you, Buddy!

 

[Hypoxia]

Q: What's in the bag?
A: A chicken, some potatoes, and a potphor.
Q: What's a porphor?
A: To cook the chicken and potatoes in, dummy.

Q: What's in the book?
A: Some adverbs, a few similes, and a metaphor.
Q: What's a metaphor?
A: It's like a simile. But omit the adverbs, carefully.

 

[TE999]

Grinnin' like a possum eatin' fish guts off a wire brush.

Grinnin' like a mule eatin' blueberries through a barbed wire fence.

Flyin' around like a fart in a bucket.

Busier than a one armed paper hanger with jock itch.

Busier than a cat covering its shit on a sidewalk.

Clear as virgin piss.

Clear as mud.

Dumb as a:

sack of hammers

a box of rocks

a pile of bricks.

Dull as a butter knife.

Nastier than a hole fulla rattlesnakes.

Meaner than a bear with a sore paw.

She's so ugly she'd make a steam train run up a dirt road.

She's so ugly they have to cover her face so sleep can slip up on her.

She's so ugly she has to look away to get a glass of water.

 

[SikFuk]

Raymond Chandler was prolly the best.

Here's one: THEY WERE ABOUT AS EXCITED AS NIGGER LOOTERS IN A LIQUOR WAREHOUSE.

I still think about the one in the Raymond Chandler piece you linked a couple of weeks ago, describing the hotel lobby: "The doors were big enough for a heard of elephants to pass through" or something like that, and "the chairs looked like they'd never been sat in."

 

[LadyVer]

No...

 

[elfin_odalisque]

As soon as I read 'like', 'as' or other form of comparison, I think simile. Surely, metaphor is when you replace the subject with another subject- 'America is a melting-pot where'. . .

Like Great White Sharks, you know one when you see one.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

As soon as I read 'like', 'as' or other form of comparison, I think simile. Surely, metaphor is when you replace the subject with another subject- 'America is a melting-pot where'. . .

Like Great White Sharks, you know one when you see one.

So your answer is NO?

I can make a case for something that's something else is also like something else.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

So your answer is NO?

I can make a case for something that's something else is also like something else.

No. Like and As are comparisons, and therefore similes. For metaphor, try 'New York finance is a jungle where only the strongest cats survive.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

No. Like and As are comparisons, and therefore similes. For metaphor, try 'New York finance is a jungle where only the strongest cats survive.

I know the definitions, I know metaphor is a comparison, too; IS A JUNGLE AND LIKE A JUNGLE ARE COMPARISONS, CUZ NEW YORK AINT REALLY A JUNGLE. SO YOU WANNA QUARREL IS YOUR GOAL, AND YOU HAVE NO WARES TO SUBMIT.

 

[SecondCircle]

If I may.

JBJ probably meant similes when he said metaphors. I mean that's the technical term for comparisons made using words "like" "as" etc.

But I knew what he was asking, even if I did notice that error.

So let's ignore that like a scouries post on a contest thread.

Ha! Just did it again.

 

[SecondCircle]

Cold as a well diggers ass.

Hotter than Satan's asshole (no actual experience)

I was only knee high to a grasshopper (really really young)

Finer than frog hair (she was attractive)

Hotter than a blistered lizard

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

If I may.

JBJ probably meant similes when he said metaphors. I mean that's the technical term for comparisons made using words "like" "as" etc.

But I knew what he was asking, even if I did notice that error.

So let's ignore that like a scouries post on a contest thread.

Ha! Just did it again.

No I meant metaphor and got it wrong. But my error begs the question for my critics who wont answer the question. And I assume cuz they don't create anything original.

 

[SecondCircle]

No I meant metaphor and got it wrong. But my error begs the question for my critics who wont answer the question. And I assume cuz they don't create anything original.

I just like to avoid trivial things becoming more than they really have to be.

That, and I really do like hearing some of the stuff like we've listed. Makes me laugh so hard I shake like a fat girl at a Justin Beiber concert.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I just like to avoid trivial things becoming more than they really have to be.

That, and I really do like hearing some of the stuff like we've listed. Makes me laugh so hard I shake like a fat girl at a Justin Beiber concert.

Very good!

 

[robertreams]

Her lips were read as a baboon's ass.

 

[alt68]

It had been a rough night. I woke with my teeth wearing sweaters.