Roll Call: Open Relationship Or Not????

[iamsamtoday]

Hello Lit Members,

I've been roaming around and reading many threads about open relationships. And actually came upon one of my own threads where someone indicated that all Lit members have open relationships. I thought that was a little presumptious on their part. For I am a member and unfortunately, I DO NOT have an open relationship with my spouse. So I am curious members, How many of you have an open relationship? And what exactly is an open relationship?

And how many of you DO NOT have an open relationship, like me, where you can't talk to your spouse about sexual anything.

 

[infinity706]

I've usually heard of open relationships as ones where you can fuck other people. I'm not really sure if I'd count, though. I just have a large number of fuck buddies that I have varying levels of friendship with. (in addition to hooking up with people)

 

[Sakurachan5]

I am not in an open relationship, and to be honest, I would not want to be. Even so, my boyfriend os well aware I come to this site, and that I use the chat rooms, which he does not mind. In fact, some of the stuff I brought back to our relationship from this site years ago has spiced things up a lot.

 

[indyguy78]

for me and my wife were undecided or unmotivated we talked about it either one of us mind it but either of us have done anything lol. Open marriage to us is giving each other the trust to have a little fun on the side safely and drama free.

 

[Epmd607]

If you're visiting open relationship threads regularly you might get the idea that many are in open relationships here. But from what I've seen there aren't so many more people here in open relationships than in everyday society. It's tough to get a feel for, most people you meet whether on or offline aren't going to lead with, "Yes, I'm in an open relationship." Anyway, I'm not. It took me about ten years of hard work to land my wife. I'm not gonna let someone else in now that she's all mine.

 

[infinity706]

I have a feeling, lit does have far more open relationships than the general population. Every time we have a poll, we come up with rediculous numbers like the average lit member mastubating every day or 100% of women that enjoy watching porn. It's about as skewed as going to a men's prison and comparing the number of guys that have sucked cock to the normal population.

 

[wicked woman]

Hello Lit Members,

<skip>

And how many of you DO NOT have an open relationship, like me, where you can't talk to your spouse about sexual anything.

Since when did being able to talk to your partner about sex become an open relationship? I thought that was a requisite to any good intimate relationship.


And yes the members at Lit are skewed to being more open, experimental sexually than the norm. That doesn't mean that a number of members aren't happily monogamous though.

You might want to include a poll and change your definition of open relationship to having more than one sexual partner.


oh and yes, I'm in an open relationship...by both definitions.

 

[Reba67]

That is not my definition of an open relationship. To me, an open relationship means being intimate with more than one person. That is SO. NOT. COOL. in my opinion. I have to be with one person and that one person needs to be with only me, sex wise.

talking about sex? Of course we can talk about sex. That's just a sign that we have a healthy relationship.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Eh, too lazy/tired to read all the replies, so here goes.

"Open relationship" means each partner allows the other to seek sexual partners outside of the established couple.

I think you're referring to a couple being able to communicate with each other openly.

Is that correct?

If so, then, yes, my SO and I are able to communicate openly with each other about anything.

If I'm wrong, then no, we do not have an open relationship.

 

[NaomiWiz]

Erm confused :s.
1)Open relationship = both partner agree on seeking sexual partner outside
2)Open conversation on sexual stuff with partner.

I'm not no.1 and average on no.2

~Naomi~

 

[beautifulc]

Having enjoyed, what I've and my husband, have considered an open relationship for 20 years. We believe that its the possibility to enjoy sex with other partners without, regret or guilt.. Preferably the situation should be revealed before the pleasure is taken but also there is the realization that sex happens and that those activities should likewise be revealed/explained.. There is also the possibilty of enjoying sex together, with other people or groups without any remorse, regret or guilt..

 

[BBW_Goddess_Anna]

Hello Lit Members,

I've been roaming around and reading many threads about open relationships. And actually came upon one of my own threads where someone indicated that all Lit members have open relationships. I thought that was a little presumptious on their part. For I am a member and unfortunately, I DO NOT have an open relationship with my spouse. So I am curious members, How many of you have an open relationship? And what exactly is an open relationship?

And how many of you DO NOT have an open relationship, like me, where you can't talk to your spouse about sexual anything.

I have been open sexually in every relationship I have had. By your definition, I mean. If you cannot talk openly with your partner about sex or sexuality or what turns you on, etc, then maybe you need to open up or re-think your status. As far as a sexually open relationship, we talk about it and there are many things we do with others, but not intercourse and not lip-locked kissing. Those are reserved for us only.

 

[Dearelliot]

problems

If you believe that men and women after the age of 30..(maybe younger) are completely the same, equal in sexual drive and desire...then I wouldnt read further..

I think marriage is so much more than sex...especially after say 10 yrs..or so. People become life partners..if it hurts your spouse it hurts you and visa versa. (unsure how to spell Visa versa.) . Many men at least those I know well..do think of women in general as sex objects..not their wives and lovers..but other women. Her body is a brief respite form the trials and tribs..if they mention they enjoyed, when they think back to the experience, cant quite recall her name or face...but recall how nice she felt...sexually On the other hand ladies I know ...given the same brief respite..have added something to this, like..He was really nice..Had a great time with him, I kind of like him...(saying to themselves, Im not a slut you know I dont sleep around with just any guy)
and thats what I think about in open relationships...usually the guy enjoys and walks away...not always no...sometimes guys gets hung up on a women because they like her...but ladies get hung up more often, because they "think" they should "like" him..because if they dont like him how come they are "xxxxxxxxxxx" with him? Fill in the blank anyway you want.


..

 

[Startlett]

My husband and I are open and able to communicate about sex, but we are NOT in an open relationship. Dammit. I've tried. LOL

 

[subwannabe]

Even though people here tend to be more liberal I highly suspect that the majority of Lit members are not in an open relationship. Probably very few are.

 

[Cattypuss]

I had an open relationship once. He got badly hurt, I stopped immediately he asked me to and yet I believe it was the beginning of the end for us (we ended a couple of years later - he left me).

 

[DewMee]

Well, I just ended a so-called open relationship. I hooked up with a guy who had fucked me at a party, as he said he enjoyed me getting fucked by other guys and all. At first it was fun, and he liked video camming me with other guys, as he liked to "go last" when I was well fucked and dripping. Trouble was I usually didn't have any energy left and was the proverbial rag-doll starfish when he would have me. Apparently as time went on he started to put conditions on my connections, and started to get evermore controlling and jealous. So last week we broke up. It was one hell of a run!

 

[Dearelliot]

The rag doll situation is always appealing...I do wonder if the "Ragdoll" does feel she is being objectified? not that Im against objectification..I find it most erotic. I have known ladies..I recall a few ..that said things like.."I never say no" ...and the well used women is always in demand...at least by men like me. I ask though of any willing to answer..and not with any bias..truly out tof interest, As time goes by in this turbulent world...assuming you could find the right partner..isnt it best to have someone you can depend on alongside of you?

 

[DewMee]

Well I must be backwards. i thought I had someone I could depend on beside me from age 16 to 26. Turned out I couldn't depend on him at all. No, I like being my own independent girl, doing what I want when I want with whom I want. Relationships are baggage, and no matter what promises are made in the beginning, they will in time restrict ones freedom. Maybe in a few years I'll tire of being a slut, but for now, I'm enjoying it emmensely.

 

[SynThea]

Hi. I am officially in an Open Marriage. That's what we call it and that's what it is. We have been married 14 years, together 24. I am 47 and he is 48.

Hub and I have one rule that is the foundation of our friendship and loyalty to one another. We do whatever we want to do. Period. I do not "tell" him to do something nor do I control him in any manner whatsoever. He is free. And independent. And capable of making his own choices and decisions to suit his own needs. As am I. I am not restricted in any way. If I want it, I get it. If I like it, I enjoy it. I wait for no permission nor do I have a mandate to ask for it.

Yet, I chose to be monogamous for many years. I have never asked if he was since it did not concern me. At the present time, I have a loving husband whom I adore and is my Dearest Hub but not my sub. I am sub to my Master. I am sub to my Dom. I am my GF's sexbud and my husband's wife.

As far as he's concerned, life is great and I couldn't agree more.

 

[iamsamtoday]

Hi. I am officially in an Open Marriage. That's what we call it and that's what it is. We have been married 14 years, together 24. I am 47 and he is 48.

Hub and I have one rule that is the foundation of our friendship and loyalty to one another. We do whatever we want to do. Period. I do not "tell" him to do something nor do I control him in any manner whatsoever. He is free. And independent. And capable of making his own choices and decisions to suit his own needs. As am I. I am not restricted in any way. If I want it, I get it. If I like it, I enjoy it. I wait for no permission nor do I have a mandate to ask for it.

Yet, I chose to be monogamous for many years. I have never asked if he was since it did not concern me. At the present time, I have a loving husband whom I adore and is my Dearest Hub but not my sub. I am sub to my Master. I am sub to my Dom. I am my GF's sexbud and my husband's wife.

As far as he's concerned, life is great and I couldn't agree more.

Holy Shit, I want your situation....I wonder how society would change if we all lived a life of sexual freedom like yours? I think we would be happier, yes?

 

[JRaven]

My husband and I believe that trust and honesty make for a better marriage than monogamy.

We both have a couple of lovers that we meet with on a regular basis. And, occasionally, an opportunity will present itself and we can pursue that opportunity without guilt.

In the end, regardless of what or who we do, we come home to were love truly lives.

Jenny

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Holy Shit, I want your situation....I wonder how society would change if we all lived a life of sexual freedom like yours? I think we would be happier, yes?

Would we? Some people prefer the comfort and consistency of monogamy. For some people, it's not worth the effort of finding another partner. I'm not saying I disagree; just food for thought.

I will agree, however, the increased sexual freedom/openness within society as a whole would be beneficial.

 

[infinity706]

Would we? Some people prefer the comfort and consistency of monogamy. For some people, it's not worth the effort of finding another partner. I'm not saying I disagree; just food for thought.

I will agree, however, the increased sexual freedom/openness within society as a whole would be beneficial.

Believe it or not, I actually agree with you. Quite a few people can't handle the open relationship thing. Of course, it does have its problems.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Believe it or not, I actually agree with you. Quite a few people can't handle the open relationship thing. Of course, it does have its problems.

I believe it, you're a pretty cool guy.

I mean, some people like to be fucked in the ass, some don't. Some people like one partner, some don't... Neither is right or wrong, it's a decision between two (or more) consenting adults.