Rocky DaBruso’s Guide to Beating Your Wife

meatflower

Experienced
Joined
Mar 23, 2004
Posts
32
Is your wife getting away with murder? Are you sick of giving timeouts and verbal scoldings when your heart yearns for so much more?

The truth is, there’s only one way to discipline and that’s with physical violence. Women can’t be reasoned with. Like the other animals of the jungle, they’re trapped in their ways. Only through physical pain can a woman break bad behavior.

Sticks and stones will break her bones. Period.

With Rocky DaBruso’s innovative wife-rearing instructional video, Rocky DaBruso’s Total Beating, you’ll learn much more than the basic techniques of throwing a punch, landing a kick, and getting in a good shove down the stairs.

You’ll master the time honored weapons of discipline: The Belt, The Wooden Spoon, The Spatula, The Egg Beater, The Electric Cord, The Blender (Cuisinart if Blender isn’t available), The Wrench, The Telephone, the Microwave, The Phillips Head Screwdriver, Allen Wrench, The Sharp Corner, The Rake, The Push Lawnmower, The Weed Whacker, The Mr. Coffee, The Crock Pot, The Rolling Pin, The Sack of Potatoes, The Canned Goods, The Washing Machine, The Toilet Bowl, The Plunger, The Cheese Grater, The Ironing Board, and even The Car.

And of course you’ll get specialty lessons, like “How to Conceal Bruises and Lacerations.

Hello. I’m Rocky DaBruso, and I’m here to help you rediscover the lost art of corporal punishment.

Most people today remember the Golden Age of corporal punishment – 1939 to 1969. Wives of those days were quite familiar with lashings, spankings, and good old-fashioned beatings. Did they give even an ounce of sass? Heck no. Wives then took those beatings with dignity, like a woman should – they shed a silent tear and went to bed without our supper.

My father, Tank DaBruso, would beat my mother on a regular basis, sometimes for offenses as innocent as leaving something out on the kitchen counter or failing to begin and end her sentences with the word “sir.” He used to say, “After a long day at the coal mines, all I want is a glass of whiskey and a t-bone. I don’t need your shenanigans.” He would put out both fists and with that booming voice, ask her to “Choose.”


Wives today are pampered, spoiled, and mollycoddled. Beat that bitch senseless with the large spatula dangling from her neck. Ten licks until the holes in that spatula became big fat welts imbedded in her rear and tears stream down her face like the great Niagara falls, her screams of pain so piercing and shrill that even little Fido the schnauzer four towns away can’t take it.

Corporal punishment just plain works.


Don’t take Rocky’s word for it – listen to all his satisfied customers.

Smacking my wife repeatedly with left over speaker wire in the garage proved to be just the trick. She no longer plays games, does all her housework without me asking and is acting like a perfect little lady.

Halleluiah to Rocky!
Bill McCray
Shakertown, Ohio


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I used the Allen Wrench and it proved very effective. My wife and a neighbor called the police but with Rocky’s tape, I managed to get her back no problem. Posing as a fake lawyer adds real value when negotiating with the County.

Kudos to Rocky!
Kevin Manher
Buffalo, NY


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For years my little bitch ran wild, driving me to the brink of insanity. My only solace was making spaghetti sauce – my grandmother’s secret recipe. Then I bought Rocky’s tape – who woulda thought, the very Wooden Spoon I was using to make sauce could be repurposed to discipline my wife! Now I can beat my wife and stay true to my Italian American heritage!

Frank Dispirito
Kendall, WI


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I had serious behavior problems with my wife. I tried time outs, grounding, and just reasoning with her, but nothing worked. The problem got so bad I couldn’t entertain company without her talking, disrupting our conversation, and even knocking plates and glasses off the table. Now, thanks to Rocky’s teachings, that bitch knows that acting out will land her a lashing. The doctors may call her problem “severe mental retardation” – but I call it “Asking for a beating.”

George Naughton
Detroit, MI
 
Last edited:
MissT, Please move this thread to the cafe.

It's an obvious parody. And not at all to be taken seriously.

Thank you.
 
meatflower said:
it's not supposed to be funny. wifebeating seldom is.

If you truly meant to be serious... your approach stinks.

And wife-beating, as you call it, is not any part of BDSM. You're in the wrong sector of the web, pal.

see ya.
 
A Desert Rose said:
If you truly meant to be serious... your approach stinks.

And wife-beating, as you call it, is not any part of BDSM. You're in the wrong sector of the web, pal.

see ya.
i was gonna comment but i had better just shut the fuck up and log outta here.
 
As far as I am concerned, what we might call "wifebeating play" has everything to do with BDSM.

I'm anti-rape and anti-wifebeating, but within the bounds of a consensual relationship; nothing is better than a lil' bit of "what? I asked the boss over for supper and you haven't washed the venetian blinds yet???" POW right upside the haid.
 
Um, not funny

No, this certainly is NOT funny. I was in an abusive relationship & it still bothers me to hear about it, even if you are joking & think it's humorous. It's not, especially to the millions of women around the world who have been hurt like me, or killed like so many others.

I think this whole thread should just be removed.
 
rosco rathbone said:
As far as I am concerned, what we might call "wifebeating play" has everything to do with BDSM.

/B]


No, you are losing points with this.
 
Kajira Callista said:
ok i just saw this. i think the thread shouldnt even be here... nevermind moved someplace else.

While I would love to put this thread out with the trash, I can't. Ignorance isn't against the forum guidelines.

However, I will move it to the cafe and if meat lover wants to start a serious discussion about BDSM, he/she is welcome to do so on the Talk forum. Nothing about the thread leads me to believe this person has any interest in BDSM nor have they taken the opportunity to discuss whatever they might think is "serious" about the first post.

So, I am moving the thread to the Cafe.
 
Re: Um, not funny

Selena Down said:
... I think this whole thread should just be removed.
Sorry ... that would be censorship.

Every one has the right to their own opinion, and can express it in anyway they wish on this board.

If you don't agree with the poster, put them on ignore, or join the band wagon in laughing his silly ass right out of the forum.

i'd be kinda curious to find out if this IP matched our gnome wannabe bytor, but then that would take all the fun out of ridiculing this newest troll.

Oh ... wait ... i forgot ... http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/TrollAlert.jpg
 
I think Rocky needs to spend some quality time with Shadowsdream, pagan switch, ebonyfire or a whole host of other women who would show him a few ancillary uses for a curling iron!

:p
 
MissTaken said:
I think Rocky needs to spend some quality time with Shadowsdream, pagan switch, ebonyfire or a whole host of other women who would show him a few ancillary uses for a curling iron!

:p

oh yikes!!!! ... But okay. I vote for that.









HI, and thank you, MissT. :rose:
 
MissTaken said:
I think Rocky needs to spend some quality time with Shadowsdream, pagan switch, ebonyfire or a whole host of other women who would show him a few ancillary uses for a curling iron!

:p

*sigh* I miss Ebony :(
 
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