Road Rage

[scheherazade_79]

I just had an attack of it.

I was driving through a not particular nice suburb of Cardiff, when I noticed that my road was blocked by two cars pulled up alongside each other. It didn't bother me all that much - I'd just bought a packet of fudge, and decided to tuck into it while the two guys wrapped up their conversation.

And then I noticed the driver of the four-by-four suped-up asshole mobile, glaring at me and pointing towards the pavement. It took a couple of seconds for it to register that he actually expected me to drive a nice car over broken bottles so that he could carry on talking with his friend.

I shook my head in disbelief, then he started giving me the finger... and I just snapped.

He was an overweight skinhead, who looked like a bulldog. I drove carefully over the pavement, but made a point of pulling up alongside him and winding down the windows.

I asked him why the fuck I should drive over the pavement just because he couldn't be bothered to move his fat arse from the road. He responded with, 'fuck you!'

It was at that point that I remembered a scene out of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, where you have to smash up cars with a golf club. It was the first time in my life when I wished I could play golf...

I had to drive away. I wanted to do serious damage to him and his jeep.

I'm still not sure what exactly it was that flicked the road rage switch inside me, but it wasn't pleasant.

What does it for you?

 

[Aurora Black]

What does it for you?

That exact same scenario. Two dumb asses having a conversation in the road. It never fails to piss me off.

I'm amazed by your will, Scheh. You're a much better person than I am, because I would have verbally torn him a new asshole instead of just driving away.

 

[scheherazade_79]

That exact same scenario. Two dumb asses having a conversation in the road. It never fails to piss me off.

I'm amazed by your will, Scheh. You're a much better person than I am, because I would have verbally torn him a new asshole instead of just driving away.

No... I just don't like enacting Jerry Springer scenes in the street if I can help it. Plus he seemed the kind of guy who'd just keep telling me to fuck off, regardless of what I said to him.

He was vacant. It would have been a thoroughly pointless exercise. If I happen to see that car parked outside one of the houses on the estate, though... I might just be tempted to encourage one of my dogs take a great big dump outside it

 

[EmeraldKitten]

No... I just don't like enacting Jerry Springer scenes in the street if I can help it. Plus he seemed the kind of guy who'd just keep telling me to fuck off, regardless of what I said to him.

He was vacant. It would have been a thoroughly pointless exercise. If I happen to see that car parked outside one of the houses on the estate, though... I might just be tempted to encourage one of my dogs take a great big dump outside it

Hahaha...
I'm sorry, but I would have rolled down my window and told him he had me fucked up if he thought I was driving my $25,000 car around him and his conversation.

Miss _79, ya shoulda popped him one.
And if you decide to get revenge later, do be sure to video tape it.
I'd love to see. Hehehe.

I don't generally get road rage... But one thing does piss me off.

On the drive into town, its 55mph, then it goes to 35, then 25.
For some reason, people slow down waaayyyy before the 35mph zone starts.
That in itself irritates me.

But then! We come up into the 25mph, and the fuckers speed!
So after I've driven along behind them, cussing them up one side and down the other, they leave me in the dust, because I don't generally go over the speed limit. Especially right there- its right between two schools and its a cop trap, lol.
So then I cuss them up one side and down the other again.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I just pull up behind them and after a few seconds if they don't move I honk the horn and keep honking it at a steady interval until they move.

 

[Guest]

What does it for you?

Pain, my little sister calls it my pain meter. If I'm in a lot of it, my road rage is much much worse than when I'm okay. What can I say, driving hurts me badly and when the pain starts I get less patient with the idiots on the roadways.

 

[rgraham666]

I don't drive so I never have the problem.

 

[Liar]

I just had an attack of it.

I was driving through a not particular nice suburb of Cardiff, when I noticed that my road was blocked by two cars pulled up alongside each other. It didn't bother me all that much - I'd just bought a packet of fudge, and decided to tuck into it while the two guys wrapped up their conversation.

And then I noticed the driver of the four-by-four suped-up asshole mobile, glaring at me and pointing towards the pavement. It took a couple of seconds for it to register that he actually expected me to drive a nice car over broken bottles so that he could carry on talking with his friend.

Damn, you guys have wide pavements in Cardiff.

If it was me (and my old car), I would have driven around and then stopped in front of him to play a little special trick. You see, my car had a secret sonic weapon. If you revved the engine just right and let go of the break, if would give off a *BAP!!!* before taking off, loud enough to kill pigeons and old folks.

 

[wazhazhe]

What really sets me off is when people in cars try to hit me, try to see how close they can get without killing me, throw things at me, threaten me with weapons, swing a baseball bat at me, want to do me bodily harm (only of course when I'm out-numbered), etc., etc. etc. when i am riding my bicycle.

[mini-rant]And before anyone starts a rant about bicyclists; I don't ride on heavily traveled roads; I ride as close to the right edge of the road as is safe; the only riding I do in the city is to get out in the country to ride on rural roads; I help drivers oass on narrow roads where safe passing zones are limited; and I know some cyclists are jerks but I didn't do anything like them to bring about the incidents I mentioned above. [/mini-rant]

Whew! I feel better now.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Pain, my little sister calls it my pain meter. If I'm in a lot of it, my road rage is much much worse than when I'm okay. What can I say, driving hurts me badly and when the pain starts I get less patient with the idiots on the roadways.

We have that in common.

 

[kendo1]

Sometimes it is better to avoid confrontation.
I would hate to be writting an obituary Sche.

Assholes will be assholes. They'll get what is coming to them, eventually.

Think about your own health and safety. Rise above petty idiocy.


Ken

 

[SeaCat]

I drive through what has been called one in the ten most dangerouse areas in the country every morning on the way to work.

We have dealt with the Stoop and Squaters. (An Insurance scam dealing with accidents.) We have seen the drive by shootings. We have dealt with the drunks in the road and the hookers trying to pick up that last John of the evening. The one thing that truly drives me absolutely nuts is the rich or wanna be rich idiots driving with their Cell Phones glued to the side of their head and not watching what they're doing. There is a reason why I have a Bumper Sticker which says: "Hang up and Drive Asshole!"

Cat

 

[matriarch]

I drive through what has been called one in the ten most dangerouse areas in the country every morning on the way to work.

We have dealt with the Stoop and Squaters. (An Insurance scam dealing with accidents.) We have seen the drive by shootings. We have dealt with the drunks in the road and the hookers trying to pick up that last John of the evening. The one thing that truly drives me absolutely nuts is the rich or wanna be rich idiots driving with their Cell Phones glued to the side of their head and not watching what they're doing. There is a reason why I have a Bumper Sticker which says: "Hang up and Drive Asshole!"

Cat

I couldn't agree more. That's why I was happy when this came into effect in the UK:

Mobile phones and the law

It's now illegal to use a hand-held mobile phone when you're driving, even when you're stopped at traffic lights or in a queue of traffic. You may be fined £30. This can be increased to a maximum of £1000 (£2,500 for drivers of lorries, buses and coaches) if the matter goes to court.

This includes making or receiving calls, pictures, text messaging or accessing the Internet. You must pull over to a safe location. Risk using a hand-held mobile phone when driving, and you risk a fine.

You can also be prosecuted for using a hands-free mobile phone if you fail to have proper control of your vehicle.

Drive carelessly or dangerously when using any phone and the penalties can include disqualification, a large fine, and up to two years imprisonment.

If you are an employer, you may also be prosecuted if you require your employees to use a hand-held mobile phone when driving. It is an offence to cause or permit the use of a hand-held mobile phone when driving. It is also an offence to cause or permit a driver not to have proper control of a vehicle.

The only exception to the rule is when you need to call 999.

 

[McKenna]

I'm still not sure what exactly it was that flicked the road rage switch inside me, but it wasn't pleasant.

What does it for you?

Cellphone users. Their attention is seriously compromised while they're busily chatting on the phone about who knows what is so damned important that they'd not only risk MY life to discuss it, but their own, and whoever happens to be riding with them. Major grrrrrrrrrrr for me.

I'm also not fond of assholes who insist on riding my ass in an attempt to get me to speed up. I speed enough already, if I'm not going fast enough, too fucking bad. The same can be said for people who cut me off or swerve maniacally out around me as I'm making a turn with my turn-signal politely indicating I will be turning. It's like somehow I've fucked up their entire day just by making them brake a bit in order to avoid slamming into the rear-end of my car. Morons.

Of course, I read this the other day and it made me laugh my ass off. It seems appropriate to share it here:

"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers."

 

[cantdog]

I think the first rule of driving should be don't hit anything.

After that, one of the most urgent is Don't leave home without a destination. People shouldn't get into an automobile at all unless they have an interest in going someplace. And their driving ought to reflect that desire. If they want to spectate, they should get a bench.

 

[scheherazade_79]

It's weird. I can tolerate (with the exception of tractors travelling through the rush hour) slow drivers. When that happens I just whack on some Carpenters, have a cigarette and start eating Haribo. But boy racers and tailgaters... and arseholes who think they have more rights on the road than anyone else - I think they should have their licences revoked and their cars crushed.

... and maybe their middle fingers crushed if they've been using them in an inappropriate way

Kendo, I had that lecture from my sister when I came back home red-faced. I don't think I ever could let a situation like that slip without saying something, though. Somehow, I doubt he'd have done that if I'd been male and built like a brick shit house.

I dunnow... old habits die hard. I've spent the last four years challenging rude behaviour. It's reached the point where age, gender and size are irrelevant. I had a slight flashblack when I was in the supermarket the other day. There were four little kids running around like wild things, and one of them nearly knocked over an old lady. I was shouting "Walk!" at them before I could stop myself... and then there was the old guy, who scribbled in permanent marker over my car, because he didn't like where it was parked. I ended up telling him to take his hands out of his pockets and look at me when I was talking to him...

 

[scheherazade_79]

Damn, you guys have wide pavements in Cardiff.

If it was me (and my old car), I would have driven around and then stopped in front of him to play a little special trick. You see, my car had a secret sonic weapon. If you revved the engine just right and let go of the break, if would give off a *BAP!!!* before taking off, loud enough to kill pigeons and old folks.

One of my best friends is a policewoman in London. She had a rough upbringing, but has a heart of gold and is even feistier than me. She was driving along the motorway in an unmarked car once, when a boyracer pulled up behind her (despite the fact that their were two other free lanes) and decided to tailgate her.

Her secret weapon was her blue lights

I wish I had some...

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I dunnow... old habits die hard. I've spent the last four years challenging rude behaviour. It's reached the point where age, gender and size are irrelevant. I had a slight flashblack when I was in the supermarket the other day. There were four little kids running around like wild things, and one of them nearly knocked over an old lady. I was shouting "Walk!" at them before I could stop myself... and then there was the old guy, who scribbled in permanent marker over my car, because he didn't like where it was parked. I ended up telling him to take his hands out of his pockets and look at me when I was talking to him...

You can take the teacher out of the school but you can't take the teacher out of the teacher.

Totally charming, Zade.

 

[SeaCat]

One of my best friends is a policewoman in London. She had a rough upbringing, but has a heart of gold and is even feistier than me. She was driving along the motorway in an unmarked car once, when a boyracer pulled up behind her (despite the fact that their were two other free lanes) and decided to tailgate her.

Her secret weapon was her blue lights

I wish I had some...

When I lived on Cape Cod one of the most irritating things I had to deal with while driving were the people who eaiter slowed way down to look at something, or just plain stopped in the middle of the road. Another was the people walking around on Main Street Hyannis who decided they just had to walk into the middle of the road and stop to chat with someone, thereby blocking all traffic.

These people would often extend their stays if you dared to hit your horn or say anything, usually right u until a Police Officer came along.

I had a great weapon against people like this. I drove a nondescript, beat up little Ford Escort. Under the hood I had mounted not one, not two but a total of four electroni Highway Horns. (Each rated at 180 Decibles, the loudest allowed by law.) (Ys I did have to have a second battery hooked up to use them but that wasn't hard to accomplish, it sat on the floor in the usually unused back seat.)

I only had that horn set up for a year before the car was totaled in an accident but in that short time traffic moved along at a nice clip whenever I was in town. (I'm reasonably sure the cleaners did a good bussiness as well. )

Cat

 

[nyte_byrd]

I don't really get road rage, but do get "parking lot rage." I have a classic car in mint condition, and nothing ticks me off more than to come out of the store and see some "homey" leaning his ass against it while he's talking to his friends. I've got a remote control that starts the engine, which has scared off a few of these kids, but that's not overly satisfying. What I really wish I had was a remote to somehow electrify the thing so it would zap the stuffings out of them as soon as they leaned on it.
The other thing that gets me is when I park it all by itself at the very farthest end of the lot (to avoid door dings) and some smart-ass makes it a point to park as close to it as he can when there are 100 other parking spaces that are closer to the building that he could have selected. Nobody *ever* parks that far out if they can avoid it, so I know automatically that the idiots do it just to make me mad. It makes you want to snip their valve stems!

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I had a great weapon against people like this. I drove a nondescript, beat up little Ford Escort. Under the hood I had mounted not one, not two but a total of four electroni Highway Horns. (Each rated at 180 Decibles, the loudest allowed by law.) (Ys I did have to have a second battery hooked up to use them but that wasn't hard to accomplish, it sat on the floor in the usually unused back seat.)
Cat

You are e-vil. Ee-ville.

 

[SeaCat]

I don't really get road rage, but do get "parking lot rage." I have a classic car in mint condition, and nothing ticks me off more than to come out of the store and see some "homey" leaning his ass against it while he's talking to his friends. I've got a remote control that starts the engine, which has scared off a few of these kids, but that's not overly satisfying. What I really wish I had was a remote to somehow electrify the thing so it would zap the stuffings out of them as soon as they leaned on it.
The other thing that gets me is when I park it all by itself at the very farthest end of the lot (to avoid door dings) and some smart-ass makes it a point to park as close to it as he can when there are 100 other parking spaces that are closer to the building that he could have selected. Nobody *ever* parks that far out if they can avoid it, so I know automatically that the idiots do it just to make me mad. It makes you want to snip their valve stems!

I can, in a way, relate to this.

For several years I had a modified van. Oh this thing was a dream machine. (Extended Ford Econoline) The outside had a nice paintjob with an incredible mural airbrushed by one of my friends. The inside was even better. This thing was a rolling apartment, and I traveled a lot in it with my wife.

I would park this thing away from other cars so the outside didn't get dinged. I was even more careful where I parked it so it didn't get raided or stolen. It never failed that whenever I came out of the store someone was either leaning against it or I had a crowd parked around it. (I even caught one wanna be Tagger getting ready to put his mark on it in Georgia. That didn't last long.)

Unfortunately for me it was killed/destroyed by a rig that lost control one time when I was in a store. The roads were a bit icy and the rig driver lost it on the offramp. He crossed the verge, went through a line of shrubs, clipped two cars then broadsided my van at roughly 40 MPH. That hurt even though I was in the store at the time.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

You are e-vil. Ee-ville.

I have often wanted to get one of those nifty Marine Corp. Six Wheeled armored recon vehicles. If you hit me in anything short of a rig all you'll do is scratch the paint, and if you stop in front of me I just go over you. (Too bad I couldn't afford either the maintanence or the fuel costs.)

Cat

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I have often wanted to get one of those nifty Marine Corp. Six Wheeled armored recon vehicles. If you hit me in anything short of a rig all you'll do is scratch the paint, and if you stop in front of me I just go over you. (Too bad I couldn't afford either the maintanence or the fuel costs.)

Cat

You probably want the optional .50 Browning too - an even more "obnoxious" horn than your previous one. (I mean, hell, if you're going to run over them, why not turn them into Swiss cheese first?) (While you're fantasizing, why not an M-60 tank?)

 

[R. Richard]

When I lived on Cape Cod one of the most irritating things I had to deal with while driving were the people who eaiter slowed way down to look at something, or just plain stopped in the middle of the road. Another was the people walking around on Main Street Hyannis who decided they just had to walk into the middle of the road and stop to chat with someone, thereby blocking all traffic.

These people would often extend their stays if you dared to hit your horn or say anything, usually right u until a Police Officer came along.

Cat

When I lived on Cape Cod the most irritating thing I had to deal with while driving was coming back from Boston on Route 3, passing cars that were doing a "safe 50MPH." When I would turn into Route 6, the same ass holes would then pass me, using the center lane around a blind curve, but still doing a "safe 50MPH."

I don't think I ever drove Route 6 up to North Truro during tourist season without seeing a wreck.