Rhyming Disdain?

[champagne1982]

How many of you deny the urge to write poems with rhyming couplets and dah dah dah dah dah dah rhythm? Okay, now that you've taken that first peek out of the closet, why do you do suppress your instincts?

I firmly believe that some sophisticated verse can be produced using all of those old-fashioned poetic devices. After all, rhyme and meter were acceptable to the bard, Poe, Leacock and Burns, shouldn't we embrace that style and write some lyrical rhyme and some rhythmic prose of our own?

I challenge you to produce a poem of no less than three quatrains of elegant rhyme and swinging rhythm. The only imposition I'll place on you is to avoid the Dr. Suessian Sam I Am sort of thing. Share them with us as time permits. Just toss them up here on this thread. I wouldn't want you to have to bear the ridicule of the masses unless you feel so inclined.

 

[champagne1982]

Now, for all of you who may be afraid to jump in and post your rhyme first, I'll alleviate you of that onerous burden and offer one of my own:

A Minstrel's Visit

A moment's pause before I start,
The work I hold near to my heart,
The telling of a story, old,
Of dark ones, evil and champions, bold.

'Tis true I have a tale to tell,
To weave, with words, a magic spell,
Of a world that's cold and even cruel,
Where metaphor's man's greatest tool.

I'll tell of some dark and ragged cloud,
Wrapped round the sky, a burial shroud,
Or whisper songs of springtime larks,
As their mating trills love's splendour sparks.

You wait for the end with hands clasped tight,
Rest easy, now. I'll make it right.
The mystery of language will unfurl,
As from passionate tongue, great words curl.

My story floats through time and space,
Into your heart's and mind's embrace.
There to linger and slowly decay,
Until a new tale's told another day.

 

[Angeline]

*

 

[Angeline]

*

 

[The_Fool]

Okay, yet another reason to finish off that stinking Rubiayat I've been working on forever that is up to....ten quatrains?...and I still haven't got to the good part. Now the question is, do I post it here? On Boo's Epic Poem thread or on my Rybiayat thread?

Or do I come to my senses and throw the whole friggin' thing out?


*grrrrrrr*

Iambic Pentameter sucksssssssss


Foolio

 

[echoes_s]

Okay, yet another reason to finish off that stinking Rubiayat I've been working on forever that is up to....ten quatrains?...and I still haven't got to the good part. Now the question is, do I post it here? On Boo's Epic Poem thread or on my Rybiayat thread?

Or do I come to my senses and throw the whole friggin' thing out?


*grrrrrrr*

Iambic Pentameter sucksssssssss


Foolio

Or do I come to my senses and throw the whole friggin' thing out?

How many times have I been advised not to throw art out??

 

[Angeline]

Okay, yet another reason to finish off that stinking Rubiayat I've been working on forever that is up to....ten quatrains?...and I still haven't got to the good part. Now the question is, do I post it here? On Boo's Epic Poem thread or on my Rybiayat thread?

Or do I come to my senses and throw the whole friggin' thing out?


*grrrrrrr*

Iambic Pentameter sucksssssssss


Foolio

Maybe you could write a rhyming sestina. I'll bet you could use your spreadsheet program to set it up.

runs away fast

 

[Liar]

I like to rhyme. The end result is rarely any good though.

Rhyme and meter? here's a song lyric I wrote:

I met you in November dark
your wick aflame, a wicked smile
two prying eyes, three spoken words
said "stay a while", I stayed a while

I waited, halted, stayed a while
som seven hours far too long
and I tried every bad excuse
to keep the glowing going on

I met you in December cold
you turned and asked me for a light
I would had set my skin on fire
to give you what you wished that night

and how I loved your golden words
and how I tried I couldn't sleep
I should retreat now, make amends
but I'm already in too deep

you are all I ever crave now
be it hunger, touch or thirst
and cigarettes will kill you
if I don't kill you first

times are gone when I could hear
and now the silence tells me more
the rhythm of your soothing breath
has left the room and closed the door

now hi-fi stereo enhanced
recorded in my heard you are
but freedom fought or freedom bought
this time you went a step too far

for a little bit of sunshine glow
you turned and gave it all away
for greener grass and other shores
you taught me how to hate that day

and how I loved your golden skin
and how I'll never dare to cease
a fool, but still I knew the route,
how you did what I know you please

you are all I ever crave now
be it hunger, touch or thirst
and cigarettes will kill you
if I don't kill you first

you think it's over,
it can't get any worse
but cigarettes will kill you
if I don't kill you first

(edit: oh, and credit where credit is due, the "cigarettes..." lines are coursey off Ice. I ripped his. )

 

[echoes_s]

Liar...trust me, nothing could be worse than I and rhyme seated together

be afwraid, very afwraid

but I will give it a shot

and I swore I would never play russian roulette

 

[The_Fool]

Maybe you could write a rhyming sestina. I'll bet you could use your spreadsheet program to set it up.

runs away fast

 

[Angeline]

Was waiting for you to see that post. Better git writin, lol.

 

[Guest]

This isn't new either but I'm busy and lazy - so bite me.



He was a bent or criminal mentor
Teaching crooked ways.
Picking pockets, stealing watches,
Those were heady days.
All his pupils looked like children,
Much too small for harm.
With tiny hands that moved like lightening
Raising no alarm.

There is no honour, trust upon a
Thief is badly placed.
When one is caught and charges brought
The music must be faced.
To save their skin they turned him in,
But rats can sense their fate.
He took the loot and disappeared
Before it was too late.

 

[echoes_s]

it's a bitty ditty

Budding reign

His voice of control
touched with demand
my steeled heart
corrodes at command

and now i wander
between he and i
not sure to laugh
or droop to cry

not sure to seek
his comfort care
in his heart
or run beware

and so i wander
at lost and stay
indecision
consistant xray

of mindless reason
and confusion so
then cautious sway
to his reigned control

 

[jthserra]

Before Columbine there was

Jonesboro, Arkansas. I felt the best way to bemoan the event was in as formal a way possible... iambic pentameter with alternating rhyme. To emphasize the horror versus innocence, I made the blood become flower blossoms. Not really noticed here, I got one vote for the poem. I had to wonder if people read about a storm, or something more...



Spring Storm in Arkansas

The thunder echoed from the building walls,
Cruel tempest crashing the innocent morning,
A whirling maelstrom pierced the heart with squalls,
And rushing wind, splashing, screaming raining.

Explosion rolled above, the budding trees
Seen flashing on the hill, the smoky hill.
A fiery torrent shatters schoolyard pleas,
Then calm, the thunder gone, the crashing still.

New blossoms litter muddy ground, color
Red splashed on concrete paths, the sobbing rain
So sadly shed as flowers wilt and blur
So long before the blooms complete their reign.

Spring storms will come again, the winds will scream,
The thunder crash, harsh rain wash sins away,
Pray never see red blossoms in the stream:
The fading reds in puddles like that day.

 

[Tathagata]

I originally wrote this as an old irish ballard/drinking song
( I know...you're shocked)

The Cup Of Pain


It was long long ago in another world
Of dandelions in May
I remember it well for the sun it went out
And all of my colors turned gray
I remember the feeling
The ground it fell out
And I was no longer sane
And you'll never be happy and childlike again
Once you drink from the cup of pain

Oh the first time it happens, she's pretty
And she'll take you into her heart
You'll look in her eyes and see angels
And you'll swear that you never shall part
She'll ask for you dreams
You'll give them up gladly
She'll tell you that she dreams the same
And you'll never be happy and childlike again
Once you drink from the cup of pain


Through streets that shimmer like diamonds
From the tears of others like you
You'll wander and curse your misfortune
And swear your next love will be true
But your blood has been tainted
You can't wash it out
Deep in your heart it remains
And you'll never be happy and childlike again
Once you drink from the cup of pain

So listen up all of you lovers
And those that I've loved in vain
Only now can I finally tell you
Of the curse of the cup of pain
And all of my hopes, all of my dreams
Have been lost like tears in the rain
And you'll never be happy and childlike again
Once you drink from the cup of pain

 

[Syndra Lynn]

Corny but true!

Does this qualify for the thread, guys?

All These Years

For My Husband

In all these years You’ve taught me much.
I need your smile, I need your touch.
But there’s so much more between us two
And so much more still left to do.

When I am tired, you let me sleep,
Bring me coffee, get me up on my feet.
When I am sick you take care
To make sure that all I need is there.

You provide for us each working day.
When we need a vacation you take us away.
When we kiss, you touch my soul.
When we make love, you make me whole.

You give all you’ve got in all that you do.
Give us all you’ve got and very soon you
Will see how beautiful each day can be
By maturing the love between you and me.

I love you so deeply that words can not say.
My feelings grow stronger each passing day.
Working together, we make a great team.
We’ll live out our lives fulfilling our dreams.

I’ve made mistakes, You’ve made some, too
But together we can make it through
The darkest night in pouring rain
To find each others love again.

Syn

 

[Angeline]

*

 

[Angeline]

*

 

[champagne1982]

Did you all notice the therapy,
That's found within this rhyme?
Yes, it's still sweet poetry,
That stands the test of time.

Daffodils nod their pretty heads
In springtime's vibrant bloom,
They rest easy in their crowded beds
For each blossom, there is room.

So though like flowers, rhymes bring disdain,
To charming sophisticates,
For those of us who love refrain
Our verse, this craving, sates.

To all, I say join in our spree,
Don't be shy, share in our glee!

 

[Syndra Lynn]

More Corny!

For Sara

Sara is a little cutie.
Her dirty face
can’t hide her beauty.

A special friend
who loves the ranch,
wallows in mud and tears her pants.

She rides the drag
behind the disc,
wears a layer of dust three inches thick.

She catches bugs
and pokes at slugs
and at poor lizard tails does tug.

A friend to dogs,
and cats and rats,
and snakes and toads and bullfrogs.

She loves every critter.
To Sara, they’re equal
whether furry or scaled or feathered.

A sweet faced girl, a real tomboy,
a handful and a challenge.
To my heart she brings great joy.

 

[WindChyme]

Computer Shock Therapy

I posted this about 2 weeks ago, and I think it fits what you asked for. no?

by WindChyme ©

You always had some time for me
When second best would do
If people on your "A" list
Were busier than you
Your rolodex was tuckered out
From spinning round and round
And suddenly, I'd come to mind
I'd win on your rebound
I grant that you were open
And never led me on
My hurt was my denial
They came and I was gone
I begged you choose me now and then
From out of all your mates
But I was just a last resort
A garnish on your plate
Time flew; and you have withered
Like grapes left in the sun
Your life is just a keystroke
Your youth and health have run
You type some jazzy wordy riffs
To chase the blues away
And play a part. "I'm Hip! Young! Smart!
I'm home at last.", you say.
Your house falls down around you
The dogs have gone insane
The spouse is just as drugged as you
The kids... what were their names?
So play the game; regale your friends
Just pray they don't find out
That you're a fraud, a fallen star
You're atrophied, a lout
Real life circles down the drain
As you pontificate
Until you wake and smell the brew
This addlepated state
Will keep you from the real real life
You built for five decades
And keep you slaving futilly
To build your barricades
Your mind is slowly twisting
You know that it's askew
I'll wager you don't even know
I'm writing about YOU

 

[Syndra Lynn]

Re: Computer Shock Therapy

I posted this about 2 weeks ago, and I think it fits what you asked for. no?

by WindChyme ©

You always had some time for me
When second best would do
If people on your "A" list
Were busier than you
Your rolodex was tuckered out
From spinning round and round
And suddenly, I'd come to mind
I'd win on your rebound
I grant that you were open
And never led me on
My hurt was my denial
They came and I was gone
I begged you choose me now and then
From out of all your mates
But I was just a last resort
A garnish on your plate
Time flew; and you have withered
Like grapes left in the sun
Your life is just a keystroke
Your youth and health have run
You type some jazzy wordy riffs
To chase the blues away
And play a part. "I'm Hip! Young! Smart!
I'm home at last.", you say.
Your house falls down around you
The dogs have gone insane
The spouse is just as drugged as you
The kids... what were their names?
So play the game; regale your friends
Just pray they don't find out
That you're a fraud, a fallen star
You're atrophied, a lout
Real life circles down the drain
As you pontificate
Until you wake and smell the brew
This addlepated state
Will keep you from the real real life
You built for five decades
And keep you slaving futilly
To build your barricades
Your mind is slowly twisting
You know that it's askew
I'll wager you don't even know
I'm writing about YOU

I loved this the first time I read it. Now that I read it again I really appreciate the meter. And now I love it! (MORE)

Syn

 

[Syndra Lynn]

Most Corny

Marriage doesn’t seem to last these days
For more than a couple of years.
We have to work hard to make it stay.
It takes understanding, laughter and tears.

It isn’t luck, or a gift from above
That keeps us stronger than the others.
We have a true, committed love
That keeps us best friends and better lovers.

To remain as one is our destiny.
We will be two of the few who made it.
Then all of our friends and the world will see
That you and I are perfectly mated.

I know in my heart, forty years from now,
We’ll be happy keeping our wedding vows.

 

[Liar]

A bit cryptic maybe?

A pariah in perfection,
only headphones and no headlight.
Clinging anchored to that corner,
fallen stalemate out of stage fright.

Take a seat, majestic mourner,
dim that light to pale reflection,
until everything succumbs to
anti-social rejection.

Have you found your prime objective,
elevating through the clutter?
To that holier-than-heaven
that will send your soul aflutter.

But the holier is hollow,
it will bring no heart attraction,
and the heaven right beside you
is the yield of interation.

 

[Kundalinguini]

Oh, finally... the perfect place...

Ever since I dashed this off I haven't known what in the world to do with it... but here, at last, is where I can dump it.

We could use a little lilting erotica here, after all...

 
The Bar Stool: Lust in Informal Pentameter
(with all apologies to Shakespeare)


It doesn't mean I love you any less,
Because I want to fuck you all the time,
But when you're pantiless beneath your dress,
Just what do you expect? It's not a crime.

We're sitting at a bar, you lift your skirt,
And run a finger up and down your clit,
Then lift it up and suck it off... you flirt.
I think the guy behind us nearly shit.

You look at him and smile, then dip it in,
Your eyes are looking pretty hot, I think.
Now wet, you pull it out and stir my gin,
And smiling, hold it out for me to drink.

The guy behind us just fell off his stool,
To see you masturbating in the bar.
The table next to us begins to drool,
Just looking they can see how wet you are.

You spread your legs and slip two fingers in.
Your eyes are closed now. You begin to moan.
You slide them out, rub wetness on the skin
Of those delighful pussy lips. They groan.

You're rubbing faster now. You grind your hips
Against that finger and its ecstasy.
A dip, a slip, a trace around your lips,
Their hands are in their laps, all fantasy.

You see them, smile, it turns you on so much.
You're panting harder now. They're hard at play.
You gasp and writhe, and arch up to your touch,
Until you cum at last, and so do they.

 

I firmly believe that some sophisticated verse can be produced using all of those old-fashioned poetic devices.

Oh right... sophisticated verse... oh well...