RFC 'Aesthetics of Dirty Pictures'

[alyxcrowley]

My first 'publicly displayed' work of erotic fiction seems to have gone up yesterday, and has seen way more hits that I ever expected. If those all represent individual readers, I'm floored at the response. If anyone would like to offer (constructive) criticism, I'd love to hear it.

The story is a simple erotic encounter between a couple who, at first, seem to have lost whatever passion they might once have had. It is meant to be light-hearted and not particularly thought provoking; my goal was simply to arouse and amuse. I've only tried to give the characters enough depth to pull them above the 'he banged her real hard' level of prose.

The story is here:

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-aesthetics-of-dirty-pictures

and comments via PM, or to this thread, are not only welcome, but hoped-for. RFC was intended to stand for 'Request for Criticism'.

--Alyx

 

[Innuendos]

Engaging piece, and I did like it a lot. The only (minor) complaint about it was the lack of names, and overemphasis on pronouns. It was probably intentional (?) from what you indicated about character depth, but a bit distracting, and somewhat jarring when a name actually is dropped at the end of the story.

Do the characters have names, or am I completely overlooking them in my quick re-read?

I might be projecting, of course, since overuse of pronouns is something I have to deal with in my own work.

 

[alyxcrowley]

Lack of names

Thanks for the comments.

I left the names out on purpose, just as an experiment. The characters are meant to be 'anybody'. That leads to frequent repetition of 'he' and 'she' -- they are the only people in their little world, so they need no other names. I can see where the repetition would be distracting, though.

I hadn't thought about sticking Suze Randall's name in at the end; that was added on a later edit. It would probably be more in keeping with the rest of the piece if it was 'Did I ever tell you about the time I posed nude for a magazine' or something along those lines.

--Alyx