Revenge Sex

[Kadu]

Some of you might be in the same boat that I'm in. I am engaged to be married in a year and recently found out that my soon-to-be wife was cheating on me. We've been dating for over seven years and I haven't been with anyone else since I turned 21.

When she admitted to me that she was doing this I was angry but slightly turned on. She has vowed to not cheat again and wouldn't blame me if I had one last fling before we tie the knot. Has anyone ever had sex out of revenge? If so, what was it like? I've been considering looking for an explosive sexual encounter with someone before I make up my mind on what to do about marriage. Please let me know your stories or ideas...

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Welcome to LIT, Kadu.

You sound like a nice guy and I wish you all the best with your upcoming marriage. I don't have personal connections with this topic, but I think it's important to listen to how your heart feels about your wife to be. Her telling you about her fling was important as a partnership should be based on honesty and trust.

However, her telling you to have a "blast" on your own sounds like she just wants to ease her "guilt" over the matter. I personally don't think "revenge" sex is a wise choice. Think of how your heart feels with this woman, and hopefully just show her you still want to be the one special man for her.

 

[HarlemBlade]

I don't think revenge is ever the right path to take. You'll only end up hurting yourself and your soon to be wife even more.

If you're willing to truly forgive her, that should be enough. You shouldn't have to go out and get revenge. That's not forgiving.

 

[Kadu]

Thanks for the advice. She seemed really turned on by the idea of me having my own encounter and telling her about it. Is it really revenge if no one is hurt? Maybe that's bad wording on my part. She mentioned if I liked it that maybe we can consider the "swinger" lifestyle after we're, or if we get, married. I want to know if there's anyone out there who can help me out this decision?! What are the pros and cons of a swinging lifestyle? I must admit after coming here the last few nights I think my horizons are expanding...

 

[bored1]

I have been in your situation and what I learned was that revenge sex is / was unfullfiling and that if a person is unfaithful before marriage they will be unfaithful at some point after marriage.Past behavior predicts future behavior. Good Luck!

 

[Gamelover221]

I'm curious as to how you found out what your wife was doing. Did you discover something, or did she just break down and tell you one day? If she was discovered and wasn't ever planning on telling you, that could be a bad sign, but if she came to you and was just open in her desire to love other people as well as yourself, then there's the possibility of a sexually open relationship. In any case, communication is key, just make sure you are both talking about everything. No more secrets!

 

[MechanicalBeast]

when i started reading this thread, i had a good idea where this was going. ive been in your shoes, only it happened after my wife and i were married. we are now divorced (we had MANY MANY more issues than just cheating). like anyone if felt upset and sick to my stomach to find out she was cheating on me, but after i had cooled my jets the thought of her fucking someone else was starting to turn me on. we never got to the point of considering swinging, (we had other issues to deal with), but it was always in the back of my mind.

your problem seems of a purely sexual nature. (duh) the fact that she still comes home to you night after night means that she does still have feeling for you, esp if she still wants to marry you. some people like to have multiple sex partners though, just for a change of pace. im sure even you have thought about fucking someone else before this has happened... i think swinging is the way to go, if it turns the both of you on to share your partners body with someone else, go for it. if you love someone that much, and the sex is great, why not show them off? i would want to.

this is just me talking... the decesion is totally up to you.