Restraint?

[CNYCarol]

Diane and I are a committed couple, and recently Diane has expressed a desire to be "tied up".

Basicly in any way and in any position I may desire, the limits we both agree on is "Pain, Humiliation, Potty Games and Animals are forbidden!!!!

Is this safe? Where do desires like this lead?

I've suggested several scenarios and her repeated response has been "I'd be tied up, How could I resist?"

Again, Is this safe? Where do desires like this lead?

I'd love to play out her fantasy, but I need a bit of input.

 

[chy_girl]

Is it safe? That depends on how you do it.

Where do desires like this lead? That depends on the people involved.

My suggestion: Don't worry about the what-if's at the moment. Do your research, figure out your supply list, and try it out. You're tying your partner down to make sex a little more exciting, not suspending her 5ft off the ground from a ceiling mounted hoist and using her for wax, fire, and electric play.

Have some fun with it!

 

[PenIsMightier1]

A note of caution, just on the mechanics of the actual tying up, some materials that you may think of using are not actually very good for tying up, thinks like silk or anything that is pretty frictionless can tighten and block off blood flow and become very hard to undo.

Rope is good

 

[Vixandra]

Have a good pair of safety shears (the type EMT's use) on hand. You can get them at medical supply stores. They can cut through just about anything, even pennies, but are designed to not cut skin.


See if you can find some rope bondage demos in your local area. If not, check out a book on rope work.

Another good form of bondage can come from a set of quick-release cuffs. You can find them online, like at the Lit store, or in a local adult toy store. If you like handcuffs, I'd recommend "fur" lined ones to prevent the metal from chaffing. Make sure they're not to tight and have fun.

If you can find it, snag a copy of SM101. Its got a lot of good information in it.

A bit of bondage won't make you a freak. It makes you a pair of consenting adults meeting each others' desires, which is pretty awesome in my book.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Where do desires like this lead?

Desires like this lead to a LOT of fucking fun!

Tie her the fuck up, gently at first, and then ravage her.

Or ravish her. It's your choice.

 

[NomadLady]

Desires like this lead to a LOT of fucking fun!

Tie her the fuck up, gently at first, and then ravage her.

Or ravish her. It's your choice.

I agree with DeepGreenEyes on this one.....could I be in line next?

 

[monicalynne68]

Definitely go for safety. If you are going to use ropes, have emergency shears on hand to cut her out in the case of an emergency. The straps they sell in the adult shops are nice because you can get them out fast if you need to.
and no it doesn't make you a freak. It makes sex so much more exciting. Make sure you establish the "safety word" before you start, just in case

 

[DVS]

At most Home Depots or similar stores, they sell bulk rolls of Velcro. The kind I'm talking about is the 2 inch wide variety. There are thinner strips, but the 2 inch kind works better, and feels better.

These bulk boxes come with both sides of the Velcro...the soft fuzzy side and the hard or hook and loop side. They have sticky backings with a plastic strip to remove to reveal the sticky part. Remove that strip and stick the two parts together, back to back so you have one long strip with the hook and loop on one side and the fuzzy on the other.

Then cut this into strips you can use for bondage such as to bind wrists together and ankles, knees, what ever. When you use them to bind, put the soft fuzzy side against the skin, so it feels soft for the wearer. Of course, you can put the hook and loop side against the skin, but I don't advise it.

When finished with play, roll the strips up on themselves, for storage. Keep them in a zipper storage bag or something for the next play time. You need to put them in something so they don't keep sticking to carpets, sweaters, upholstery etc. and maybe damage something.

I've seen them in white and black, but there might be other colors, depending on where you go. I know my Home Depot has it, but it might also be available in Lowes, some other hardware stores and maybe even some craft stores.

Trust me...when someone is wrapped up with this stuff, they aren't getting away and if necessary for quick release, it comes off with a quick rip, just like any other Velcro product. Fun stuff!

EDITED TO ADD:
The more you get into this kind of thing, the more you will venture into hardware and craft stores with a different mind set. And there's nothing wrong with a little kinky fun. Nobody needs to know about it. And as long as you both enjoy it, it's a new adventure you can share. It's your own little private fun time.

 

[CNYCarol]

WOW, I never imagined it to be this tender!!!

I gotta run to Lowe's for Velcro, SURPRISE time!

 

[DVS]

I just wanted to add that there are a lot of different sizes and widths of the bulk Velcro product. It's up to you what you get, both in length and width. You might only find 1 inch width strips, but don't stop looking, because the wider product is better and feels better for the wearer. The length I've usually purchased was the 15 foot length.

Of course, they aren't made to be put back to back. My guess is they are meant to be cut into strips and used to keep tools organized and maybe most anything closed, from cabinet doors to tool duffel bags. But that's the thrill of places like Home Depot / Lowes. There are a lot of things there (and in craft stores too) that you can use in um...ways they weren't intended.

If you don't find it in a store in your area you can get them online at Home Depot, too. The white version is almost $10 more than the black version. And they have 4 foot and 3 foot versions, too, but they are more expensive, too, if you get too much. I guess that's why bulk is always cheaper. You got me, on why the white color is more expensive than the black, though.

If you didn't know, I was once labeled as a racist, so I'm not even going there on this one.


Just in case you were wondering, I couldn't find the 2 inch size on Lowes web site. And it was Clear Hook &Translucent Loop 15' x 3/4" and $5 more. And I don't understand the clear hook and loop fasteners. Is that even possible? I might have to take a trip to my nearest Lowes just to see.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The answer is pretty simple, really; black hides a multitude of off-colors in the raw material, while white does not. White polyprop powder has to be handled with some decent care, or else it becomes off-white poly prop powder, and god forbid the American consumer should have to put up with the indignity!

 

[DVS]

The answer is pretty simple, really; black hides a multitude of off-colors in the raw material, while white does not. White polyprop powder has to be handled with some decent care, or else it becomes off-white poly prop powder, and god forbid the American consumer should have to put up with the indignity!

Well, they both work the same as instruments of bondage so I'd suggest black over white if there is a choice.

 

[where]

if you opt for the handcuff route. please make sure you have the keys to hand BEFORE you snap them on. otherwise you have to hacksaw them off. (strokes the scar on my wrist in remembrance)

 

[mardin]

Handcuffs

As wonderful as conventional handcuffs are I really suggest the safety ones with the tab release. They work as normal but it there is a emergency it is just a press of a thumb to release.

 

[where]

As wonderful as conventional handcuffs are I really suggest the safety ones with the tab release. They work as normal but it there is a emergency it is just a press of a thumb to release.

ha! now you tell me!

 

[DVS]

ha! now you tell me!

All you had to do was ask. It could maybe save you a little embarrassment.

 

[where]

All you had to do was ask. It could maybe save you a little embarrassment.

I've moved onto rope now

 

[DVS]

I've moved onto rope now

Pity. I'm a cuff man. I'm even certified.

 

[where]

Pity. I'm a cuff man. I'm even certified.

cuffs will do! as long as there's a key.

 

[cromsgirl]

We got a set of velcro cuffs that have long tethers that tie under the bed. They work very well and are very comfortable.

 

[SimonBrooke]

if you opt for the handcuff route. please make sure you have the keys to hand BEFORE you snap them on. otherwise you have to hacksaw them off. (strokes the scar on my wrist in remembrance)

Ha!

Is that a true story? My (South Korean prisons department issue) handcuffs are aluminium, so reasonably easy to cut - but I imagine steel ones would be a bit of a bugger

 

[where]

Ha!

Is that a true story? My (South Korean prisons department issue) handcuffs are aluminium, so reasonably easy to cut - but I imagine steel ones would be a bit of a bugger

absolutely true. if I tan (which I don't) you can still see the scar.

 

[Homburg]

Well, I would've said something useful, but all you sensible people went and said all the sensible thing. Good on ya!

 

[seela]

if you opt for the handcuff route. please make sure you have the keys to hand BEFORE you snap them on. otherwise you have to hacksaw them off. (strokes the scar on my wrist in remembrance)

I second making sure you have the keys. And I would also recommend not tossing the keys around on the balcony with your friends as a stupid joke, because it just might happen that the keys will fall to the wrong side of the balcony railing.

The cuffs were the exact same model that the police here use, so we called the local police station and asked if they would be willing to open the cuffs. Luckily, they said it's ok and off to the police station we went. It was absolutely humiliating. Luckily I was fully dressed, none of us were drunk and the whole thing with the handcuffs had been just a stupid, childish joke instead of a scene gone awry.

Interestingly, the nice officer who freed me told me, that I wasn't the first person who had to be freed from the handcuffs by the police. Apparently stupidity is common.

I never got another pair of handcuffs again.

 

[DVS]

I second making sure you have the keys. And I would also recommend not tossing the keys around on the balcony with your friends as a stupid joke, because it just might happen that the keys will fall to the wrong side of the balcony railing.

The cuffs were the exact same model that the police here use, so we called the local police station and asked if they would be willing to open the cuffs. Luckily, they said it's ok and off to the police station we went. It was absolutely humiliating. Luckily I was fully dressed, none of us were drunk and the whole thing with the handcuffs had been just a stupid, childish joke instead of a scene gone awry.

Interestingly, the nice officer who freed me told me, that I wasn't the first person who had to be freed from the handcuffs by the police. Apparently stupidity is common.

I never got another pair of handcuffs again.

It all revolves around SS&C or RACK, depending on your personal preference. As far as the BDSM scene goes, you don't do things like that, period. If you do, you are going against the basic safety rules set in place.

Sure, there will always be those who do that, as well as those who test the envelope itself. But they are the exception. Handcuffs come with two keys. You only need one. Put one in a safe place where it's easy to get to. Shit, you can even purchase spare keys. Get several and put them around the house.

We've all heard the stories of an embarrassed couple driving to the police station. And stupidity is common, when sexually aroused humans are involved. It's one of the reasons safety rules are necessary.