Research for story.

[Fantasies_only]

I have an idea for a reality based story which involves an Internet noob who desires a sex slave, but I need some research on how to go about doing this.

1: How does one find a sex slave without the help of online adult services?
2: How can one (a virgin in this case) get up the nerve to ask for a sex slave?
3: How can one (in this case young male) trust a stranger (in this case 2 older women) with access to his house and belongings?
4: How does one know all of his secrets and fetishes will be kept secret?
5: How can one differentiate swinging incorporated with housework from prostitution if both workers get paid?

 

[SweetErika]

I have an idea for a reality based story which involves an Internet noob who desires a sex slave, but I need some research on how to go about doing this.

1: How does one find a sex slave without the help of online adult services?
A fetish or sex-positive club or group.

2: How can one (a virgin in this case) get up the nerve to ask for a sex slave?
It's your story. Imagine something up. Or, are you actually looking for advice for yourself?

3: How can one (in this case young male) trust a stranger (in this case 2 older women) with access to his house and belongings?
One really can't trust anyone with one's house and belongings. Spouses steal from spouses. Children steal from parents, and vice versa. Nevermind trusting strangers!

Realistically, I'd likely trust someone enough to allow them into my home after many dates on neutral ground and visiting their home. It'd probably take many months of spending a lot of time together before I'd consider leaving them alone in my home.

And if you're going for realism, don't think you can slip 'he chained up his slaves and went out to work/dinner' past those of us with half a brain. We know that's exceedingly dangerous and stupid.

4: How does one know all of his secrets and fetishes will be kept secret?

Again, one doesn't. People have ulterior motives and blackmail each other. This is where trust and good judgment come into play, although even those can lead one down the wrong path sometimes.

5: How can one differentiate swinging incorporated with housework from prostitution if both workers get paid?
Huh? So the sex slave is also a paid housekeeper? What, if anything, does that have to do with swinging (which is usually couples having casual sex with other people/couples)? Is it possible you're confusing BDSM and swinging?

.....

 

[Fantasies_only]

First I'd like to say thanks for your input, but I would like it if you used multiple quotes next time so the following poster can quote you.

1: How does one find a sex slave without the help of online adult services?
A fetish or sex-positive club or group.

The character is new to the city, but as a porn adict, he would have done his research, so that at least is realistic.

2: How can one (a virgin in this case) get up the nerve to ask for a sex slave?
It's your story. Imagine something up. Or, are you actually looking for advice for yourself?

A little of both.
A story for Lit, and a fantasy for me.

3: How can one (in this case young male) trust a stranger (in this case 2 older women) with access to his house and belongings?
One really can't trust anyone with one's house and belongings. Spouses steal from spouses. Children steal from parents, and vice versa. Nevermind trusting strangers!

Realistically, I'd likely trust someone enough to allow them into my home after many dates on neutral ground and visiting their home. It'd probably take many months of spending a lot of time together before I'd consider leaving them alone in my home.

And if you're going for realism, don't think you can slip 'he chained up his slaves and went out to work/dinner' past those of us with half a brain. We know that's exceedingly dangerous and stupid.

I guess I can come up with a "Your place or mine?" theme between both, like a privately owned brothel/harem.
As for leaving, free will is really the question.
Does he give it to them or not?

4: How does one know all of his secrets and fetishes will be kept secret?

Again, one doesn't. People have ulterior motives and blackmail each other. This is where trust and good judgment come into play, although even those can lead one down the wrong path sometimes.

I'll have to come up with some kind of contract before hand.

5: How can one differentiate swinging incorporated with housework from prostitution if both workers get paid?
Huh? So the sex slave is also a paid housekeeper? What, if anything, does that have to do with swinging (which is usually couples having casual sex with other people/couples)? Is it possible you're confusing BDSM and swinging?

BDSM will not be in this story (unless you count mind control role play).
When I said swinging, that was for lack of a better word since multiple fetishes will be used.

I was also thinking this might go over better as an SRP.
What do you think?

Hey, what's that thing in your avatar that looks like a lima bean?

 

[SweetErika]

First I'd like to say thanks for your input, but I would like it if you used multiple quotes next time so the following poster can quote you.

Beggars can't be choosers. I did what was easiest for me at the time.

The character is new to the city, but as a porn adict, he would have done his research, so that at least is realistic.

If he's a porn addict, he probably can't tear himself away from the mags/vids/PC long enough to have a real, semi-healthy relationship.

I guess I can come up with a "Your place or mine?" theme between both, like a privately owned brothel/harem.

It sounds like you're making this way too complicated for its own good.

I'll have to come up with some kind of contract before hand.

Contracts in D/s relationships aren't unusual. More often than not, they're verbal, but sometimes they're written. Again, don't make it too complicated. Weave in the agreed upon terms simply, but well.

BDSM will not be in this story (unless you count mind control role play).
When I said swinging, that was lack of a better word since multiple fetishes will be used.

Like it or not, what you're describing with slavery and the like DOES fall under the heading of BDSM, or a kink-based relationship, if you prefer. Domination and submission, power and control, consensual slavery, service relationships (e.g. domestic and sexual services in a D/s context) are part of BDSM. Fetishes can be, and often are, a part of BDSM or kink as well. If I have a guy over who gets off on cleaning my house and serving me sexually in a costume, that's kink.

If you do some research, one thing you'll undoubtedly find about BDSM/kink is that it encompasses way more than you ever thought.

Interestingly enough, most of the swingers I've met have not been kinky or fetishy, beyond maybe some light bedroom kink. Self-identified BDSMers are more likely to engage in swinging behavior, than swingers are likely to engage in BDSM, from what I can tell. For instance, our local swing clubs might have a small area for BDSM play or some nights where BDSM is allowed, but our BDSM/sex-positive spaces freely allow swinging. While there's some crossover, there's a definite disconnect.

I was also thinking this might go over better as an SRP.
What do you think?

I'm thinking you're right. Then you can research as you go along and the details may not matter so much.

 

[Julian]

This is your quote; my answers are in bold after the questions.

I have an idea for a reality based story which involves an Internet noob who desires a sex slave, but I need some research on how to go about doing this.

1: How does one find a sex slave without the help of online adult services?
What would you consider on-line services? Would this include meeting in a chatroom? I have met many wonderfully delightful angels who have come with me from writing to cybersex to phone sex or meeting beyond our own means or causing havoc that made us smile.

2: How can one (a virgin in this case) get up the nerve to ask for a sex slave?
Nothing reeks of desperation more than a lack of research. You have to know what you like, what you're going to do, and why you want to do something. Are you fulfilling your own person joy or just learning something new? Do you need a mentor or an introduction? I think you need to be able to smile, walk and seek - not including chat rooms there are sex/swingers magazines, personal ads on sites like criagslist.org and the like. Just know your own limits beforehand.

3: How can one (in this case young male) trust a stranger (in this case 2 older women) with access to his house and belongings?
Trust is worked into gently. This begins by learning someone's last name, a real phone number, and many personal things. Granted, you're going to be sharing a lot yourself, so don't think the 'evengali' approach do-as-I-say methodology works in real life. If this were to happen (even in the approach of a story) then for it to be realistic you'd need to open yourself, again, to knowing what you like as much as what they'd give you.

4: How does one know all of his secrets and fetishes will be kept secret?
Again, trust. If you both can't walk away from it all as nothing more than a pleasant memory, then you're going to have to think carefully about who you're sharing with, not just what you're sharing with them.

5: How can one differentiate swinging incorporated with housework from prostitution if both workers get paid?
Tricky - may be impossible. If you learn how let us all know.


I do hope what I've said makes you think carefully before beginning this journey. For men they get chosen - for women they can choose. Be aware of this as they can always reject or ridicule you no matter the format you're seeking them in or through.

I have been blessed with many friends & lovers seeking wonder & excitement - what matters now as the years have passed are my memories.

Blessings,


Julian

 

[Fantasies_only]

This is your quote; my answers are in bold after the questions.

I have an idea for a reality based story which involves an Internet noob who desires a sex slave, but I need some research on how to go about doing this.

1: How does one find a sex slave without the help of online adult services?
What would you consider on-line services? Would this include meeting in a chatroom? I have met many wonderfully delightful angels who have come with me from writing to cybersex to phone sex or meeting beyond our own means or causing havoc that made us smile.

2: How can one (a virgin in this case) get up the nerve to ask for a sex slave?
Nothing reeks of desperation more than a lack of research. You have to know what you like, what you're going to do, and why you want to do something. Are you fulfilling your own person joy or just learning something new? Do you need a mentor or an introduction? I think you need to be able to smile, walk and seek - not including chat rooms there are sex/swingers magazines, personal ads on sites like criagslist.org and the like. Just know your own limits beforehand.

3: How can one (in this case young male) trust a stranger (in this case 2 older women) with access to his house and belongings?
Trust is worked into gently. This begins by learning someone's last name, a real phone number, and many personal things. Granted, you're going to be sharing a lot yourself, so don't think the 'evengali' approach do-as-I-say methodology works in real life. If this were to happen (even in the approach of a story) then for it to be realistic you'd need to open yourself, again, to knowing what you like as much as what they'd give you.

4: How does one know all of his secrets and fetishes will be kept secret?
Again, trust. If you both can't walk away from it all as nothing more than a pleasant memory, then you're going to have to think carefully about who you're sharing with, not just what you're sharing with them.

5: How can one differentiate swinging incorporated with housework from prostitution if both workers get paid?
Tricky - may be impossible. If you learn how let us all know.


I do hope what I've said makes you think carefully before beginning this journey. For men they get chosen - for women they can choose. Be aware of this as they can always reject or ridicule you no matter the format you're seeking them in or through.

I have been blessed with many friends & lovers seeking wonder & excitement - what matters now as the years have passed are my memories.

Blessings,


Julian

Thanks for the info, but this isn't for me (I'd ask for younger yet legal girls), and as SweetErika said, it should be an SRP, so details don't matter as much.
The truth is reality sucks, so why I should have to put up with things like STDs and unplanned pregnancy?

As for SweetErika's statement that it really is BDSM, think about the criteria for a moment.

Bondage - I don't get off on it, and even in a sexual context, I don't think it's morally right (reminds one of slavery).
Discipline - This will not be in the story, at least not the hurtful or humiliating kind.
Sadism - Gags aren't my kink, so unless you count non sexual submissives, the story will be sadist free.
Masochism - This is the same as bondage, not my kink and morally wrong.

The main character will have a sexual dominating role, but I wouldn't call that BDSM (no leather and latex, rubber gloves, or any other goth styles).

In addition, I can make mind control role play, actual mind control now.

I'll have to do this after my other one that starts after Christmas (Succubus and vampire girl in the old west).

 

[SweetErika]

As for SweetErika's statement that it really is BDSM, think about the criteria for a moment.

The D and S can also stand for "Domination" and "Submission," which is exactly what you're describing.

Bondage - I don't get off on it, and even in a sexual context, I don't think it's morally right (reminds one of slavery).

That is your prerogative, of course, but I'm not sure how what two consenting adults enjoy can be equated to nonconsensual slavery in any way.

I'd be willing to bet you don't think bondage is morally right because you have no experience with even sensual bondage, and aren't very open to things in general. It's much easier to deem something "immoral" than really explore it (at least mentally) and seek to understand it.

Sadism - Gags aren't my kink, so unless you count non sexual submissives, the story will be sadist free.

Sadism entails far more than gags, although I wouldn't even classify gags under sadism in most cases. When combined with masochism, it can be a very indulgent, pleasurable thing, indeed (for me, at least).

Masochism - This is the same as bondage, not my kink and morally wrong.

How can you judge what a consenting adult enjoys "morally wrong" when it doesn't harm anyone? If your partner wanted to be spanked because s/he found pain to be erotic, would you point your finger at them and say, "Absolutely NOT! You liking pain is morally wrong!"?

The main character will have a sexual dominating role, but I wouldn't call that BDSM (no leather and latex, rubber gloves, or any other goth styles).

You seem to have a very narrow definition of BDSM. Since D/s is part of BDSM, and that's what you're describing, I'd challenge you to expand your definition and open your mind. A lot.

 

[Fantasies_only]

The D and S can also stand for "Domination" and "Submission," which is exactly what you're describing.

Actually that's what I thought to begin with, but the BDSM forum said otherwise.

That is your prerogative, of course, but I'm not sure how what two consenting adults enjoy can be equated to nonconsensual slavery in any way.

I just meant it is against my own morals in a slavery context.

I'd be willing to bet you don't think bondage is morally right because you have no experience with even sensual bondage, and aren't very open to things in general. It's much easier to deem something "immoral" than really explore it (at least mentally) and seek to understand it.

I am open, but even in fantasy find nothing erotic or even the slightest bit sexy about being chained up, handcuffed, or hog tied.
I don't see why my partner (like I have one) should think this is sexy either.

Sadism entails far more than gags, although I wouldn't even classify gags under sadism in most cases. When combined with masochism, it can be a very indulgent, pleasurable thing, indeed (for me, at least).

That's your opinion.

How can you judge what a consenting adult enjoys "morally wrong" when it doesn't harm anyone? If your partner wanted to be spanked because s/he found pain to be erotic, would you point your finger at them and say, "Absolutely NOT! You liking pain is morally wrong!"?

I guess I worded that badly.
It goes against my morals, not anyone else's.

You seem to have a very narrow definition of BDSM. Since D/s is part of BDSM, and that's what you're describing, I'd challenge you to expand your definition and open your mind. A lot.

I could probably find a way to do it to myself with ordenary objects, but I still don't find it erotic, so why should I atempt this?

 

[bailadora]

I am open, but even in fantasy find nothing erotic or even the slightest bit sexy about being chained up, handcuffed, or hog tied.
I don't see why my partner (like I have one) should think this is sexy either.

Because partners are individuals that have their own ideas of what does and does not constitute sexy. FWIW, my partner and I have been together almost 20 years and our definitions of sexy do not always coincide. *shrug* Neither of us is right or wrong - just not in accord on some topics.

 

[Fantasies_only]

Because partners are individuals that have their own ideas of what does and does not constitute sexy. FWIW, my partner and I have been together almost 20 years and our definitions of sexy do not always coincide. *shrug* Neither of us is right or wrong - just not in accord on some topics.

Sounds like a "grass is always greener" scenario.
Seriously, it's hard to think one can get off on such a thing.
I can't seem to separate bondage and slavery and whippings for pleasure and whippings for violence (as in near death).

 

[bailadora]

Seriously, it's hard to think one can get off on such a thing.

*Shrug* Different strokes for different folks. Who can explain the human mind and why one thing may appeal strongly to one individual while having zero appeal for another? We're all wired differently and it is what it is.

I can't seem to separate bondage and slavery and whippings for pleasure and whippings for violence (as in near death).

Honest question - how much research have you done on the topic? Because I have to agree with Sweet E that you seem to have a very narrow concept of the term. I'll admit that until I actually read up on the subject, I also thought BDSM was all about whips and chains and beatings, pain, etc. I've since learned that the term not only encompasses a very broad spectrum of activities ranging from the very light to the very dark (for lack of better terms), but also that it's a state of mind for many who live that lifestyle. Part of what I sense from your posts is that you don't understand how people can receive pleasure from what seems to be a painful activity and that I can't speak to. But from what I've read, it's one of those things that is not easily explained. It seems that some people are just wired that way and you either get it or you don't.

Sounds like a "grass is always greener" scenario.

Although you meant this in a very light hearted manner, I'm going to reply in a more serious vein. If and when you do get into a relationship with someone, it would be foolish to think or to expect your partner's fantasies to automatically fall into lockstep with yours simply because you deem something unappealing. And if your partner ever gets the courage to share a fantasy with you and you respond in a judgmental or negative manner, all you will accomplish is your partner locking away clues that could very well help you to better understand who she is and what makes her tick. Just some food for thought...

 

[Fantasies_only]

Very interesting, all of it.

*Shrug* Different strokes for different folks. Who can explain the human mind and why one thing may appeal strongly to one individual while having zero appeal for another? We're all wired differently and it is what it is.

It's actually not a bad idea for me to brush up on how the mind works (the mind, not the brain).

Honest question - how much research have you done on the topic? Because I have to agree with Sweet E that you seem to have a very narrow concept of the term. I'll admit that until I actually read up on the subject, I also thought BDSM was all about whips and chains and beatings, pain, etc. I've since learned that the term not only encompasses a very broad spectrum of activities ranging from the very light to the very dark (for lack of better terms), but also that it's a state of mind for many who live that lifestyle. Part of what I sense from your posts is that you don't understand how people can receive pleasure from what seems to be a painful activity and that I can't speak to. But from what I've read, it's one of those things that is not easily explained. It seems that some people are just wired that way and you either get it or you don't.

I could do some reading about A-Typical behaviour as well.

Although you meant this in a very light hearted manner, I'm going to reply in a more serious vein. If and when you do get into a relationship with someone, it would be foolish to think or to expect your partner's fantasies to automatically fall into lockstep with yours simply because you deem something unappealing. And if your partner ever gets the courage to share a fantasy with you and you respond in a judgmental or negative manner, all you will accomplish is your partner locking away clues that could very well help you to better understand who she is and what makes her tick. Just some food for thought...

You're right again.
Speaking from experiance (with paranoia), telling someone my secrets and fears hoping they will understand, just to have them laugh at me (and perhaps try to urge on whatever it is) is very discouraging and makes me not wanna trust that person with other secrets and fears.

In fact, I don't think I can trust anybody with this, so I just keep it bottled up until it happens (which may be soon).

 

[bailadora]

I could do some reading about A-Typical behaviour as well.

Meh - you may think it's just semantics, but I prefer the term different (as in different from my experiences) rather than a-typical. Because IMO, the definition of typical varies from person to person.

You're right again. Speaking from experiance (with paranoia), telling someone my secrets and fears hoping they will understand, just to have them laugh at me (and perhaps try to urge on whatever it is) is very discouraging and makes me not wanna trust that person with other secrets and fears.

Precisely.

In fact, I don't think I can trust anybody with this, so I just keep it bottled up until it happens (which may be soon).

Good luck with that.