Endlessly
Corrupted Innocent
- Joined
- Dec 26, 1999
- Posts
- 1,267
I don't know. I feel a little silly doing this right after Dixon, (Even if I am his acolyte.. I love that word. It looks so.. COOL.) but I haven't really ushered in any of my other mile-markers, and besides, I've known since before Lasher hit 1000 what I wanted to use my 1000th post for.
A lot of you know I've had a lot of religious problems lately, and I've been trying to reconcile the pure and profane sides of my life.. And that even resulted in me taking a hiatus for a few months. But.. I came back, because I couldn't really leave permanently if I wanted to. Literotica is a very big part of who I am, I suppose, and it's a shame in a way that some of the people who know me the best will never know about this side of me. But in a way.. I feel even more close to the people here because I can show them this side, and it makes me feel a little more vulnerable at times, but at other times, I feel it makes me stronger.
I chose 'corrupted innocent' because it sounded better than 'damn jailbait,' and it fits more. It's sort of a waggish nod to my own turmoil and to the wonderful role each and every one of you have played in helping me achieve the level of sexual awareness I have now.. I sometimes wonder if any of you have any idea how backward I was, how shy about these subjects when I first wandered in to the BB. I feel more comfortable in my own skin thanks to the people I've met who have let me know that this is normal.. Whatever 'this' is.
But the main reason I wanted to post.. The thing I decided a long time ago that this post would be about. I see so much about cliques and about too much fighting, so many posts about all the negative stuff around here.. But there's one thing this BB has done for me that no one can take away, and it's something so warm and special that it will forever overshadow any bad experience I may have on this BB.
Want to see a bunch of strangers express some love?
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=11581
I feel like such a sap because I'm sitting here and I'm getting seriously misty-eyed thinking about that thread. For those of you who weren't around, Literotica banded together to help me lose my virginity.. Never in my life have I gotten more loving, gentle, and tender advice. Some of it was helpful with techniques, others were just reassuring me that I wasn't as awkward or gawky or homely as I thought I was.. In both cases, each reply meant the world to me. I never, ever bothered to say that, and it was my fault, really.
This is the thank you I never gave.. The one that's long overdue.
Every single person who posted on that thread means the world to me. I say this unequivocally: I have never in my life felt more special, more desirable or more loved than I did when a bunch of strangers banded together to answer all the questions and reassure all the fears that I've never had friends close enough or sisters I felt comfortable enough with to confess. (Okay Endlessly, stop crying. This is a freaking PORN site.) Even the posts that people made saying that I shouldn't lose my virgnity at that point in time made me feel loved.. Made me feel cared about. I owe everyone on that thread a heartbursting thank you, from the Butterflies to the friends disguised as Chasing Amys.
(And I admit. 'Chasing Amy' is probably the best thing that ever came from this BB for me. You know my thoughts.)
I guess.. All my life, I've always felt kind of out-of-place.. All the people my age think of me as an adult and the adults think of me as a child.. I'm guilty and unsure of myself everywhere I go but here. And the outpouring of love and encouragement I found and continue to find here rendered me speechless.
Until now.
Goodnight.. I love you all.
A lot of you know I've had a lot of religious problems lately, and I've been trying to reconcile the pure and profane sides of my life.. And that even resulted in me taking a hiatus for a few months. But.. I came back, because I couldn't really leave permanently if I wanted to. Literotica is a very big part of who I am, I suppose, and it's a shame in a way that some of the people who know me the best will never know about this side of me. But in a way.. I feel even more close to the people here because I can show them this side, and it makes me feel a little more vulnerable at times, but at other times, I feel it makes me stronger.
I chose 'corrupted innocent' because it sounded better than 'damn jailbait,' and it fits more. It's sort of a waggish nod to my own turmoil and to the wonderful role each and every one of you have played in helping me achieve the level of sexual awareness I have now.. I sometimes wonder if any of you have any idea how backward I was, how shy about these subjects when I first wandered in to the BB. I feel more comfortable in my own skin thanks to the people I've met who have let me know that this is normal.. Whatever 'this' is.
But the main reason I wanted to post.. The thing I decided a long time ago that this post would be about. I see so much about cliques and about too much fighting, so many posts about all the negative stuff around here.. But there's one thing this BB has done for me that no one can take away, and it's something so warm and special that it will forever overshadow any bad experience I may have on this BB.
Want to see a bunch of strangers express some love?
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=11581
I feel like such a sap because I'm sitting here and I'm getting seriously misty-eyed thinking about that thread. For those of you who weren't around, Literotica banded together to help me lose my virginity.. Never in my life have I gotten more loving, gentle, and tender advice. Some of it was helpful with techniques, others were just reassuring me that I wasn't as awkward or gawky or homely as I thought I was.. In both cases, each reply meant the world to me. I never, ever bothered to say that, and it was my fault, really.
This is the thank you I never gave.. The one that's long overdue.
Every single person who posted on that thread means the world to me. I say this unequivocally: I have never in my life felt more special, more desirable or more loved than I did when a bunch of strangers banded together to answer all the questions and reassure all the fears that I've never had friends close enough or sisters I felt comfortable enough with to confess. (Okay Endlessly, stop crying. This is a freaking PORN site.) Even the posts that people made saying that I shouldn't lose my virgnity at that point in time made me feel loved.. Made me feel cared about. I owe everyone on that thread a heartbursting thank you, from the Butterflies to the friends disguised as Chasing Amys.
(And I admit. 'Chasing Amy' is probably the best thing that ever came from this BB for me. You know my thoughts.)
I guess.. All my life, I've always felt kind of out-of-place.. All the people my age think of me as an adult and the adults think of me as a child.. I'm guilty and unsure of myself everywhere I go but here. And the outpouring of love and encouragement I found and continue to find here rendered me speechless.
Until now.
Goodnight.. I love you all.
