Requesting Feedback/Bigrig Ch. 17

[dcraig]

Posting for Billy, who is still away. He will return soon.

People, this chapter is incredible. I have read action/adventure and who done it novels, and this climax chapter is one of the best I have read in a long while. If you don't believe me, go read it yourself. Bigrig Ch. 17

Billy, I was elated to finally meet your illusive Mr. Bowman. And as I did, I found him to be most erotically wicked. A most salacious man, he is that pulls you into his madness in such a way that you actually desire to be touched by it, and him. OMG!!! Awesome character, Billy. I loved him, hated him, and wanted to analize him so very much. lol.

This chapter holds so much, it's hard to comment without giving away the plot. But I must say, you really outdone yourself with this one. The fight was so realistic, Jonathan's thinking had me on the edge of my seat, and Peter was just too funny. But it ends with a cliffhanger that left me wanting to cry. What is going to happen to Peter, love?

 

[athena_by_night]

Yowza Yowza Yowza!!!!!!!!!!!

Breathtaking, edge of your seat, nail biting! I was anticipating, trying not to read ahead, staying focused on the moment and feeling everything you put into the chapter. It was a masterful set of scenes, each helping to build to the climatic end.... it was sinfully delicious!

Spellbinding! I sound like a movie critic! OMG I loved it all.... can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens.... please let Peter be all right! I can visualize all of this in my head, seeing everything unfold and just coming together.

A work of art Billy!

Marie

 

[dcraig]

Yowza Yowza Yowza!!!!!!!!!!!

Breathtaking, edge of your seat, nail biting! I was anticipating, trying not to read ahead, staying focused on the moment and feeling everything you put into the chapter. It was a masterful set of scenes, each helping to build to the climatic end.... it was sinfully delicious!

Spellbinding! I sound like a movie critic! OMG I loved it all.... can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens.... please let Peter be all right! I can visualize all of this in my head, seeing everything unfold and just coming together.

A work of art Billy!

Marie

Oooh! And I so agree!!! Spellbinding action packed climax. Do you think the movie critics would read this? lol. I think it could go. It's just that good!!!!!!!!

 

[mastergary4u2]

Posting for Billy, who is still away. He will return soon.

People, this chapter is incredible. I have read action/adventure and who done it novels, and this climax chapter is one of the best I have read in a long while. If you don't believe me, go read it yourself. Bigrig Ch. 17

Billy, I was elated to finally meet your illusive Mr. Bowman. And as I did, I found him to be most erotically wicked. A most salacious man, he is that pulls you into his madness in such a way that you actually desire to be touched by it, and him. OMG!!! Awesome character, Billy. I loved him, hated him, and wanted to analize him so very much. lol.

This chapter holds so much, it's hard to comment without giving away the plot. But I must say, you really outdone yourself with this one. The fight was so realistic, Jonathan's thinking had me on the edge of my seat, and Peter was just too funny. But it ends with a cliffhanger that left me wanting to cry. What is going to happen to Peter, love?

Wow, doc. Such an emotional comment. You didn't cry at the last scene did you? hehehe. j/k. Hey, I can't say anything. I got a little misty there myself. Especially knowing Jonathan loved the guy so much.

And I did read, comment and vote on it. It's the best chapter in this book. All of them are really great chapters, but this one took the cake. I loved Mr. Bowman. As evil as he was throughout the entire book, I loved his way of doing things. I'd just get crazy if he came after me. lol. Might scare the bjesus outta me, but..... Once he got started, I woulda give him all he wanted. I guess I ain't no Bruce. But, it was just the character, man. The way he pulled me in. I was just mezmerized by him. He was awesome, to me. Looks and everything.

 

[sweeteric2u2]

Posting for Billy, who is still away. He will return soon.

People, this chapter is incredible. I have read action/adventure and who done it novels, and this climax chapter is one of the best I have read in a long while. If you don't believe me, go read it yourself. Bigrig Ch. 17

Billy, I was elated to finally meet your illusive Mr. Bowman. And as I did, I found him to be most erotically wicked. A most salacious man, he is that pulls you into his madness in such a way that you actually desire to be touched by it, and him. OMG!!! Awesome character, Billy. I loved him, hated him, and wanted to analize him so very much. lol.

This chapter holds so much, it's hard to comment without giving away the plot. But I must say, you really outdone yourself with this one. The fight was so realistic, Jonathan's thinking had me on the edge of my seat, and Peter was just too funny. But it ends with a cliffhanger that left me wanting to cry. What is going to happen to Peter, love?

And that's what I wanna know too. What's gonna happen to Peter? That scene almost had me balling my eyes out. Poor Jonathan had to see that. OMG!!! Here I go again... lol Where's the tissue!!

Oh, gees... Billy, I read it, commented and voted. I was so taken aback by Mr. Bowman. He is a character and a half. Where did you think up this guy. There's such a mystery surrounding him. And he's an artful master, that's for sure. The way he just toys with the mind of his victims. OMG!!! I actually wanted him to do that to me!! I couldn't believe it. And knowing he was so evil at the same time. wow!!!!! Very artfully generated character. I loved this chapter!!! I just don't know what else to say about that part. The rest has been said over and over. So, I'll just leave it alone. But damn, I hope Mr. Bowman pays me a visit. lol Very good, Billy. Very, Very Good ​

 

[athena_by_night]

Okay! LOL..... Round Table Discussion time...

Discussion Point 1.

Despite his inherent evilness, Mr. Bowman has certainly had an impact on all of us. I'd want to crawl inside his mind as well to see how he ticks.

Discussion Point 2.

Bruce showed his character in this chapter, standing up to Mr. Bowman as he did.

Discussion Point 3.

Does anyone else think that Ben should have had his men maybe a little closer in the beginning? Okay, what am I thinking, like a girl probably.... that would have defeated the whole plot line and I do understand plot lines.

You pick a discussion point or add one of your own... I loved all of it!

Marie

 

[windstormy]

Thanks

I really appreciate it, guys. But it seems I missed the mark with this chapter. I think it's time I bow out, maybe. I don't know what to do. I worked so hard on that chapter trying to develope Mr. Bowman's character and make him seem so real. The fight scene you guys liked so much, I had to slow down in my head to actually put it into words. And I did want it to be as real as I could make it. But maybe it just wasn't good enough, you know? *sigh*

This place seems to be like everywhere else, anyway. You gotta know somebody important to get anywhere.

 

[dcraig]

I really appreciate it, guys. But it seems I missed the mark with this chapter. I think it's time I bow out, maybe. I don't know what to do. I worked so hard on that chapter trying to develope Mr. Bowman's character and make him seem so real. The fight scene you guys liked so much, I had to slow down in my head to actually put it into words. And I did want it to be as real as I could make it. But maybe it just wasn't good enough, you know? *sigh*

This place seems to be like everywhere else, anyway. You gotta know somebody important to get anywhere.

Billy, come on, now. You know better, love. Chapter 17 was very good. It was better than good, it was marvelous. It's one of your best works, babe.

The problem is, that you got hit by three bible thumpers. It's not the work, or what you did wrong, ok. They ruined your score a little, yes. But you know that we have never lied to you, and will not begin to do so. You can recover from it. It will go up. Just keep the your head about you. Don't take it so personal. And just as Msboy8 keeps telling you, write for yourself.

Even Athena will tell you when she doesn't think it's right, and you know it. So, you stop this pity party you're having and just go on. Shake the dust off your feet and move on, buddy. You're better than this, I and the rest of us know it. And I will not stand by and watch you do this to yourself. You will not continue this path you're on. Take a chill pill, dude, as you always tell us. It's not the end of the world. Geeesssssssss.

And yes, I'm being strong with you, because I think you need it right now. We all are supporting you, like it or not. And that means in the bad times too. With tough love, if it takes it. And I am certain that many of these authors in this forum will agree that your work is as good as anyone elses. It's unfortunate that these three decided to pick on you now at a moment when you felt you had done your best work. But it's still not the end of the world, kid. Get with the program, finish your conclusion chapter, submit it, and think of something else to start. And I mean, NOW, trooper......... lol

 

[Guest]

I really appreciate it, guys. But it seems I missed the mark with this chapter. I think it's time I bow out, maybe. I don't know what to do. I worked so hard on that chapter trying to develope Mr. Bowman's character and make him seem so real. The fight scene you guys liked so much, I had to slow down in my head to actually put it into words. And I did want it to be as real as I could make it. But maybe it just wasn't good enough, you know? *sigh*

This place seems to be like everywhere else, anyway. You gotta know somebody important to get anywhere.

How can you say that?

Your first sixteen chapters all have H's by them for Hot stories. Because this one chapter does not have an H then the entire site of Literotica must be rigged?

Isn't that a bit ridiculous?

 

[dcraig]

How can you say that?

Your first sixteen chapters all have H's by them for Hot stories. Because this one chapter does not have an H then the entire site of Literotica must be rigged?

Isn't that a bit ridiculous?

I must agree with you, love. Billy takes things much too personal, I'm afraid. He's venting his frustrations, and needs to stop and think. But, I'm certain he'll recover. He's a tough kid. He's had a rough go the past few weeks, and it's mounted to this. Even so, I refuse to allow him to stop. It will get better, if he'll just hang in there. And I'm not afraid to slap his face, or his hand, when he needs it either. hehehe.

 

[windstormy]

Okay, guys. I apologise for my statement about Lit. It was wrong. I can be man enough to admit when I'm wrong. And as Craig has said, I'm venting frustrations and need to stop and think. Forgive me everyone. I really don't mean it. I mean dern, after all, I should know better and I do. All of you have been so good to me, and seem like family to me. I guess that's why it hurts so much. But then again, I have had a lot going on in my life. Too much.

I didn't realize I had gotten hit like that. Craig, you're such a good man to try to protect me from it during this time in my life. I appreciate it, really. But I thank you for telling me the truth. I thought for a minute I had done a crappy job on that chapter, even though I had worked so hard on it. And you're right, it's not the end of the world. What was I thinking anyway? I swear I'm missing a step or two.

But, maybe now the chapter will make it on it's own, and my score will go up. And I have submitted the last chapter, so it should be out soon. Plus, I'll sit down and think of something else to submit, too. I won't let you down, Craig. I promise.

 

[dcraig]

Okay, guys. I apologise for my statement about Lit. It was wrong. I can be man enough to admit when I'm wrong. And as Craig has said, I'm venting frustrations and need to stop and think. Forgive me everyone. I really don't mean it. I mean dern, after all, I should know better and I do. All of you have been so good to me, and seem like family to me. I guess that's why it hurts so much. But then again, I have had a lot going on in my life. Too much.

I didn't realize I had gotten hit like that. Craig, you're such a good man to try to protect me from it during this time in my life. I appreciate it, really. But I thank you for telling me the truth. I thought for a minute I had done a crappy job on that chapter, even though I had worked so hard on it. And you're right, it's not the end of the world. What was I thinking anyway? I swear I'm missing a step or two.

But, maybe now the chapter will make it on it's own, and my score will go up. And I have submitted the last chapter, so it should be out soon. Plus, I'll sit down and think of something else to submit, too. I won't let you down, Craig. I promise.

Okay, kid. Much better. Just don't make me have to discipline you further. I know the loss of a family member has gotten you a little perplexed at the moment. But it will get better. You have to hang in there with us. All the crap going on in your life is no grounds for beating the rest of us down. And besides, we're all in your corner. Okay...... (((((((Billy)))))) You seem to need that right now, so, I'll be glad to give it. Get busy with your new project as soon as you can. It will help, I promise. And if you need me, you know where I am. Call me......

 

[windstormy]

Okay, kid. Much better. Just don't make me have to discipline you further. I know the loss of a family member has gotten you a little perplexed at the moment. But it will get better. You have to hang in there with us. All the crap going on in your life is no grounds for beating the rest of us down. And besides, we're all in your corner. Okay...... (((((((Billy)))))) You seem to need that right now, so, I'll be glad to give it. Get busy with your new project as soon as you can. It will help, I promise. And if you need me, you know where I am. Call me......

Craig, you're the best. I love you so much. Thanks for being tough when I need it, man. And I'll get on my next project as soon as I can. I didn't mean to be childish. I see now that I was. And thanks so much for the hug and roses.

 

[dcraig]

Craig, you're the best. I love you so much. Thanks for being tough when I need it, man. And I'll get on my next project as soon as I can. I didn't mean to be childish. I see now that I was. And thanks so much for the hug and roses.

Billy, you know we all love you very much. We are behind you 200%. And we always will be. So, you just take a few deep breaths, reflect on the experience and what you've learned tonight, and go do something constructive. i.e. write...

And you're very welcome, by the way.

Athena_by_night has this to say to you: Billy.... you write phenomenally well and the depth and detail that you put into your work is fabulous. Much of what you write is not in the mainstream and as such will not appeal to everyone. However you write what you feel and that is not a bad thing at all. So take the good with the bad and blend the two, in how you approach dealing with the comments. Not everyone will be constructive as is their wont, but don't think for one minute that it really addresses what you write about. Weed out the chaff to get to the wheat. Those who can't write, will find ways to belittle others who can. It's the way of the world, honey and you can only change it by continuing your journey of discovery, at least for you and those of us who love you. You Go Boy!

 

[windstormy]

Billy, you know we all love you very much. We are behind you 200%. And we always will be. So, you just take a few deep breaths, reflect on the experience and what you've learned tonight, and go do something constructive. i.e. write...

And you're very welcome, by the way.

Athena_by_night has this to say to you: Billy.... you write phenomenally well and the depth and detail that you put into your work is fabulous. Much of what you write is not in the mainstream and as such will not appeal to everyone. However you write what you feel and that is not a bad thing at all. So take the good with the bad and blend the two, in how you approach dealing with the comments. Not everyone will be constructive as is their wont, but don't think for one minute that it really addresses what you write about. Weed out the chaff to get to the wheat. Those who can't write, will find ways to belittle others who can. It's the way of the world, honey and you can only change it by continuing your journey of discovery, at least for you and those of us who love you. You Go Boy!

Okay, I'll get off here and do just that. And thanks Athena, I honestly do understand that. I know not everyone will agree with my stuff. I was just acting like a spoiled brat. And I will try to do better in the future. I know I've been a pain to you guys for a while and I really appreciate your support.

 

[dcraig]

Okay, I'll get off here and do just that. And thanks Athena, I honestly do understand that. I know not everyone will agree with my stuff. I was just acting like a spoiled brat. And I will try to do better in the future. I know I've been a pain to you guys for a while and I really appreciate your support.

Athena_by_night: it's not about doing better Billy...... it's about being true to yourself. and thank you for accepting the support.

Billy, this is my last reply tonight. You're growing as an author. It hurts sometimes. So, grin, bare it and go on. Good night, love.

 

[athena_by_night]

Truly spellbinding storytelling in my eyes. You have captured the landscape of human emotion throughout this entire series. You have characters that are inherently good, characters that have few redeeming values evident and characters that are trying to balance between both these worlds.

Thank you for sharing all of them. You surpass yourself with each chapter. And Chapter 18 kicked a**.... well, you know what it kicked! LOL

Marie

ps. Thank you Craig for the technical assistance in posting my feedback to Billy last night... you can steal my lines anytime!

 

[mastergary4u2]

Okay! LOL..... Round Table Discussion time...

Discussion Point 1.

Despite his inherent evilness, Mr. Bowman has certainly had an impact on all of us. I'd want to crawl inside his mind as well to see how he ticks.

Discussion Point 2.

Bruce showed his character in this chapter, standing up to Mr. Bowman as he did.

Discussion Point 3.

Does anyone else think that Ben should have had his men maybe a little closer in the beginning? Okay, what am I thinking, like a girl probably.... that would have defeated the whole plot line and I do understand plot lines.

You pick a discussion point or add one of your own... I loved all of it!

Marie

Discussion Point 1.

Despite his inherent evilness, Mr. Bowman has certainly had an impact on all of us. I'd want to crawl inside his mind as well to see how he ticks.

Well, I don't know about crawling into his brain and seeing how he ticks, as much as I wanted him to crawl my way. lol. I luv someone with a little mystery and lechery. And he was both. I actually felt so taken with him that I was wanting to be in Bruce's shoes. But I'd a give into him, begging for more. lol....

Discussion Point 2.

Bruce showed his character in this chapter, standing up to Mr. Bowman as he did.

Yes he did!!! I don't know if I could've done it. I might surprise myself, but once that man started with me, I'd probably melt.

Discussion Point 3.

Does anyone else think that Ben should have had his men maybe a little closer in the beginning? Okay, what am I thinking, like a girl probably.... that would have defeated the whole plot line and I do understand plot lines.

Well, I thought a little more should've been said about the good guys being there. At least have Tony run into a couple in the woods, or Bruce tripping over one, you know?

 

[dcraig]

RoundTable Discussion

Discussion Point 1.

Despite his inherent evilness, Mr. Bowman has certainly had an impact on all of us. I'd want to crawl inside his mind as well to see how he ticks.

Yes, most assuredly. It would be interesting to see what was lurking behind his face and façade. I'm very certain we would find quite a few skeletons hiding in his closet, perhaps even a rattlesnake or two. lol

Discussion Point 2.

Bruce showed his character in this chapter, standing up to Mr. Bowman as he did.

Absolutely!! He showed much courage, and kept an impressive poker face on, not allowing Mr. Bowman to see even if there was any fear in him. Although, I did sense as he was taking in his features, that he might have found him quite handsome, from what I was gathering of it.

Discussion Point 3.

Does anyone else think that Ben should have had his men maybe a little closer in the beginning? Okay, what am I thinking, like a girl probably.... that would have defeated the whole plot line and I do understand plot lines.

I agree with Gary. I think a little more should have been said about the good guys being there. Maybe not so much right out front as with hiding in the treeline. Yes...

Discussion Point 4.

The little news we learned during the fight with Maurice and Tony was very enlightening. But it does pose a couple questions.
1. Did Maurice actually rape Tony, possibly?
2. And if he did, how in the hell was he able to manage that?

 

[athena_by_night]

Discussion Point #3....

Absolutely! A little more live action. I am beginning to think Ben was working outside of approved circles and it was he and Tony only... now there's a thought...

Craig's discussion point:

I need to reread ch. 17. My impression was that Maurice set up Tony in a foreign country they were both working in to get in trouble with local law enforcement. But as I am not certain I recollect correctly.... it bears looking into.... hmmmm......

 

[dcraig]

RoundTable Discussion

Discussion Point #3....

Absolutely! A little more live action. I am beginning to think Ben was working outside of approved circles and it was he and Tony only... now there's a thought...

Now, that could be the case.

Craig's discussion point:

I need to reread ch. 17. My impression was that Maurice set up Tony in a foreign country they were both working in to get in trouble with local law enforcement. But as I am not certain I recollect correctly.... it bears looking into.... hmmmm......

Yes, I'd have to pull it up again myself, but that was the impression I got from it. And yes, Maurice did get into trouble with the foriegn local law enforcement pertaining to some very lecherous activity. He blamed Tony for it, but Tony had witnesses of his where abouts. But there was also mentioned that Maurice did something to Tony that, in my impression, denoted rape.

 

[windstormy]

Yes, I'd have to pull it up again myself, but that was the impression I got from it. And yes, Maurice did get into trouble with the foriegn local law enforcement pertaining to some very lecherous activity. He blamed Tony for it, but Tony had witnesses of his where abouts. But there was also mentioned that Maurice did something to Tony that, in my impression, denoted rape.

Very studious, my dear friend. And you are very correct. The questions as to how, and so on will be answered in the sequel. hehehe.......

 

[athena_by_night]

Requesting Feedback/Bigrig Ch 17

Damn.....now that's a tease!

Ohhhhhhhh................ Broken Vow is playing on the radio......

Marie

 

[windstormy]

Damn.....now that's a tease!

Ohhhhhhhh................ Broken Vow is playing on the radio......

Marie

What's a tease? hehehe

 

[spiritwalker]

Yowza Yowza Yowza!!!!!!!!!!!

Breathtaking, edge of your seat, nail biting! I was anticipating, trying not to read ahead, staying focused on the moment and feeling everything you put into the chapter. It was a masterful set of scenes, each helping to build to the climatic end.... it was sinfully delicious!

Spellbinding! I sound like a movie critic! OMG I loved it all.... can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens.... please let Peter be all right! I can visualize all of this in my head, seeing everything unfold and just coming together.

A work of art Billy!

Marie

I would have to agree with you completely. This chapter is a masterpiece that draws one in utterly unaware of the dangers it holds. It is full of impacting scenes that are constructed in such a way to keep your attention and wish he wouldn't do that. lol. I hate cut scenes. lol. But, his were absolutely masterful. I completely enjoyed this chapter and am anticipating the sequel he's working on.