Request for Review

[Agnol]

I wrote a new story, my second submission for the site.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=277791

Would kindly request reviews.

 

[SweetErika]

Have you considered posting in the Story Feedback forum?

 

[S-Des]

I went through a few pages. The sex is well written and hot. You seemed to go enough into your characters to reflect their emotions of the moment. Doesn't seem to be any issues with grammar. The only reason I didn't finish it (besides being really tired) was the believability factor. Not that every story has to be, but I'm one of those people who likes to read stories that reflect believable emotions from the characters.

In yours, everyone was more than thrilled to immediately get naked and have sex. The daughter didn't have a moment's hesitation to go down on her mom. She was so anxious to taste her brother (I've never been with a guy, but I assume we all taste the same) that she was jealous her mom was getting to blow him. Nothing drew me into the story, other than the sex. 8 pages of sex is more than I care to read. But your writing is good. I'm just not a fan of that particular style. However, I'm guessing it will be well received by readers in that category.

Hope this helps.