relucent to recieve

[RebelWithACause]

ok...my girlfriend and i have been going out for awhile now,and our sex life is good...but i know she enjoys oral from her telling about past expierences...but she tells me she respects me too much to let me do it. i guess she's worried about taste and smell and such and just doesn't want me turned off by it.


now i would be fine with not doing it...but i want to please her. i've never done it before at all...and i was wondering...is the smell and/or taste that bad? should i just leave well enough alone and not keep asking her if she wnats me too?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

ok...my girlfriend and i have been going out for awhile now,and our sex life is good...but i know she enjoys oral from her telling about past expierences...but she tells me she respects me too much to let me do it. i guess she's worried about taste and smell and such and just doesn't want me turned off by it.


now i would be fine with not doing it...but i want to please her. i've never done it before at all...and i was wondering...is the smell and/or taste that bad? should i just leave well enough alone and not keep asking her if she wnats me too?

Nothing wrong with the taste or smell, but if she just doesn't want it, I wouldn't push it...

 

[Bobmi357]

There would be only two reasons why the taste and smell would be bad. Inadequate hygenic habits, or an infection. In either case, its your girl friend's hang up, you can either learn to live with it, or help her get over it.

The act of performing oral sex on your lover is perhaps even more intimate than regular intercourse. You're basically allowing some person to put their most dangerous weapon (teeth) on your most sensitive parts. People do not perform oral sex on others because of any sensual pleasure they derive from it. They do it because they want to please their partner and recieve pleasure from the knowledge that they are giving thier partner great pleasure. The act of putting yourself in the hands, and mouth of another person indicates a great deal of trust in your relationship. The same goes for the willingness to give the same kind of pleasure.

The idea of tasting your partner, of sending him/her through an orgasmic cycle with little more than the pressure from your mouth and your tongue is a real ego boost in my opinion. I love to feel my woman tense up just prior to her comming from my tongue, and I love to lay my head on her mons and just hold her whilest she shudders through the aftershocks of her orgasm.

Not everyone is into oral sex, and quite a few men and women complain they can't cum from just oral stimulation alone. Needless to say, I strongly suggest you try becoming accustomed to giving oral stimulation. Its well worth the effort in the long run and it can add another spicy aspect to your relationship.

 

[Etoile]

People do not perform oral sex on others because of any sensual pleasure they derive from it. They do it because they want to please their partner and recieve pleasure from the knowledge that they are giving thier partner great pleasure.

Oh, I don't know about that. I know a lot of people - myself sometimes included - who do get off on giving head.

 

[HoldenMcCrank]

Well

If you are worried about smell or taste then I suggest you try going down on her while the 2 of you are in the shower. If you like it there then try it every where. If you don't at least you tried. Good luck and enjoy your meal!

Holden

 

[Etoile]

Re: Well

If you are worried about smell or taste then I suggest you try going down on her while the 2 of you are in the shower. If you like it there then try it every where. If you don't at least you tried. Good luck and enjoy your meal!

I don't think he's the one worried, though. It sounds to me like he's perfectly willing, but his girlfriend is the one shying away from the idea. As for doing it in the shower, that's a good idea. Alternately doing it just after a shower is fine.

 

[BirdsWife]

People do not perform oral sex on others because of any sensual pleasure they derive from it.

I'm sorry that you don't, but you shouldn't assume everyone else is like you.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[SexyChele]

Even though it's a bit off topic, I gotta go with the other ladies here - I think I get almost as much from giving oral sex as my partner does in receiving it.

Hmmm...maybe it's a woman thing?

 

[Bobmi357]

Even though it's a bit off topic, I gotta go with the other ladies here - I think I get almost as much from giving oral sex as my partner does in receiving it.

Hmmm...maybe it's a woman thing?

I think you may be right about it being a woman thing. I know that in most circumstances I'm as limp as a wet noodle while performing oral on my wife. Perhaps its because you women have such a dang complicated system that we men have to concentrate on what we're doing.

 

[Xun]

being a biboi

mmmm, actually, I really enjoy performing oral on both sexes. I'm kinda a cum slut lol and since my gf has never had anything but a clitoral orgasm, it's a good thing I like it lmao

 

[Carnus]

Personally I love doing it, love to please the woman I am with. And there are a plethora of places to slide a warm wet tounge. I first did it when I was 16, had no idea what I was doing, but had the luck of being taught by an older woman (and I have loved older women ever since then) who was patient and a very good teacher from what I have been told of how I do. I don't see how it could have anything to do with she respects you too much, I think more likely she is a bit timid and doesn't want to offend you. Don't look at it as a duty or something you have to do to get oral yourself. Instead look at it as another way of loving her physically, another wya of showing her how you want to please her and make her satisfied. Besides, it is a wonderful feeling to know that a woman has just exploded from your touch, kissing her in a most intimate way.

Carnus

edited to add:

A woman thing, not for me, I am so hard most of the time I ache, leave wet spots of precum all over the bed, have even been known to accidently cum especially when a woman is riding my face and just holding my cock. My favorite position has to be to have my face ridden which is really suprising as in I am usually somewhat dominant sexually.

 

[lilpriss]

If you really want to go down on your GF... I would suggest talking to her and trying to find out what her hang up is... there's no telling!

When I was younger and had first started to have sex, I likened oral sex to being licked by a dog... it disgusted me. I could not get into it, nor did I want to. Plus, the thought of being licked where your pee comes out just seemed nasty... I too was worried about smell etc.

Fast forward a few years to the first guy who knew what he was doing.... add to that tons of reading and learning about sex. I got over it. Although, I honestly couldn't see how any guy REALLY liked to do it. But I figured, hey if that's what he wants, great. It still wasn't on the top of my list of fave's...

Still, I'd really rather give head, I get distracted when I'm lying there just recieving... and it takes forever for me to come... unless there's some big time fingering going on at the same time.

Read up on the subject, you both sound young...

A lot of enthusiasm, a lot of communication and a little skill go a long way.

Have fun!

 

[Krinaia]

I have never had oral sex preformed on me but I can say I agree with some of the other ladies, i get great joy from giving head. I love feeling his legs jerk and hear his moans and whispered commands and urgings, to feel his hands in my hair and his cock in my mouth. It makes me very hot and after he comes, I love to curl up beside him and nuzzle him until he's ready to reward me That entire experience is wonderful, but i do have to say i truly love the feeling of licking and sucking him.

perhaps you should let your girlfriend read these posts, seems to me a lot of really good input has been given...

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[sheath]

ok...my girlfriend and i have been going out for awhile now,and our sex life is good...but i know she enjoys oral from her telling about past expierences...but she tells me she respects me too much to let me do it.

WHOA! Huh?

She respects you too much to let you do it?



I'm sorry...that just doesn't make any sense to me. What does she mean by that, exactly?

S.

 

[soapstar]

Your girlfriends fears were very common amongst my peer group when I was growing up sexually. I remember feeling very ashamed when a group of my girlfriends were sitting around talking about how they didnt like their boyfriends to go down on them because they *didnt like it*.

I felt ashamed because I *loved* it!

Years later I asked one of the more vocal girls if she liked recieving oral sex now, and she said something to the effect of "hell yes!" so Im inclined to believe that it is fear and a lack of comfort of your own body that can lead to not wanting to try this out.

 

[Derya]

Maybe her being hesitant to let you perform oral sex on her has something to do with what she's aware of (or not aware of either) being the reasons you haven't had that experience yet. Example: could she think you haven't done it before because you find it not pleasurable etc.

Does she provide you with oral sex rountinely? Perhaps that's just a phase of togetherness that hasn't reached a comfortable place for the two of you yet. If she does not give you oral sex often, perhaps she feels it would necessary for her to reciprocate equally and doesn't care for giving as much, so doesn't want to be selfish about receiving. ie. more "respect" for you than to "use" you.

Could be a perception thing. For instance in some cases partners may view (or perceive) giving oral sex as demeaning and the receiver as dominating the giver. In a lot of cases if that perception exists it can even add to the stimulation inherent in oral sex act(s), but maybe she feels she respects you too much to put you in that position. Or perhaps she feels oral sex is somehow "lesser" sex not equal or not as good as intercourse.


These are just thoughts, but the best advice I saw already posted on the thread...talk more about it...find out why she said that to you. By the way too, you said your sex life was good. I assumed that meant you were fully intimate (having intercourse), but if that is not the case maybe she feels she wouldn't be respecting where you all are at in the retionship if she let this happen at this point.

Again talk more and share; she is really the only one with the answer and her answer is what matters not our speculation. Let us know how you progress with this hurdle.

 

[shescurious]

My initial reactions to this was the same as Sheath's. It seems that she thinks that going down on her is demeaning in some way to you. Have you talked to her about her opinions on oral sex in general as opposed to past experiences or in refrence to you performing it on her. You may find that she has rather negative views about it.

I wouldn't push her if I were you. But have you ever given her a sensual massage? You could use your hands and mouth all over her body. I don't mean the massage then head straight to her pussy but really take your time to explore her body. Use varying pressures with your hands, pinching, rubbing, teasing, lightly caressing. Use your mouth in spots like in the bend of her arm, the back of her knees, where her neck ans shoulder meet, lick, lightly scrape your teeth, let her feel your breath on her skin. Do all this but do not touch her pussy. When you are rubbing her legs, get as close as possible to it but do not touch it.

In doing this you can help her understand that what you really want is to please her. It is to satisfy your curiousity as well but in her mind she needs to believe that you only do it to make her soar. After worshipping her body in this fashion the natural progression is to use your mouth on her pussy. And she should be so excited by this point I don't think she would say no.

Of couse you need to discuss her views on oral first and make sure she doesn't feel too strongly against it.

But an easier way to satisfy your curiousity about the taste is put your finger in your mouth after you have used it on her.

This was way to long winded.

 

[Rubber Biscuit]

Her hangup sounds like she doesn't think she tastes and smells good. Assuming you disagree with that, you need to show her that it's the exact opposite, that you love how she tastes. Do little things to demonstrate this. When you finger her, bring your finger to your mouth and taste it, letting her see you do it. Let her see the expression on your face that you love her taste. Rub her juice on her nipple and then suck it off. Kiss and lick up the inside of her thighs, sniffing near her crotch and softly murmuring, "I love how you smell." Bit by bit, she should come to accept that you don't find it disgusting, that you actually find her taste and scent erotic.

Since she does like getting head, and you love to watch her get off (especially under your touch), maybe you could get down there and NOT put your mouth on her, but instead use your fingers, exciting her, rubbing her, and when she is very excited and wet, let her see you lick and suck your fingers. Maybe you can get her off this way, not placing your lips on her, but still tasting her as she climaxes and let her see you enjoying her taste. It may open the door for her finally relaxing and enjoying your ultimate kiss.

 

[watergirl]

If it's her issue, leave her alone. I never used to enjoy receiving oral... I met a guy this spring that started to change my mind on that subject - he was amazing, and so very much enjoyed it, and was so pleased with himself, I just had to trust that he liked it and I liked it, and he didn't want to go any further than that with me...

But I still find that with most guys, I tense up and don't enjoy it... And that's an across the board thing - the occasional fuck-buddy good friend I've known for 8 years, the guy I flirted with for a month and a half at work while the tension built between us, the guy I met from lit that could make me cum in a lot of other ways...

I really don't like oral from any of them, but I do LOVE to give. So you know what? Maybe you should just take her at her word and leave well enough alone.

 

[Annora]

Oral

Don't ask her about, just while you are enjoying foreplay, just slip down. Nuzzle her inner thigh, lightly kiss her lips. You can tell by her responses, perhaps she will enjoy this, intimacy.
It will show her you are willing, to please her orally.

You might be able to make this question, have an answer, one both of you can live with.
No its not smelly, nor taste bad. If she bathes daily, there shouldn't be any odors. Well, hopefully one, the musky scent of two people about to have, hot sex.

 

[MadelynneJade]

Sheath, you said:
"She respects you too much to let you do it? I'm sorry...that just doesn't make any sense to me. What does she mean by that, exactly?"

I can tell you exactly what I mean by that. I'm his girlfriend.
I'm usually not too fond of giving oral sex. I don't expect him or want him to do anything to me that I'm not willing to give back. When he tries to "Slip" down there, I catch him. I'm almost embarassed to admit I do find the scent down there alluring, but it's embarassing to me. The first guy I ever had sex with, he went down on me ALL the time, and I loved it. I have no down I'd love it with my sweetheart now. But whenever my ex-boyfriend would come up to kiss me, I did NOT want to taste myself on him, I thought that was just...ugh. But he tasted bad anyway.
However...perhaps if my lover over there and I can get time alone in a shower again....

 

[ReadyOne]

There's a fine line here, but consider being extremely assertive.

Finger her to a good orgasm. End up in a good position as she starts to cum, ready to get your arms around her thighs and your head in her snatch and keep it going/restart it with your tongue.

And hang on when she squirms. Perhaps direct action will break her acceptance barrier. Just remember that if your actions truly bother her and you continue to persist....