Religious Conversion for Marriage?

[modest mouse]

Has anyone converted to satisfy a spouse or his/her family?

If so could you relay your experience. Both initially and since you converted.

Thank you in advance.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[modest mouse]

No, CB, I am not. But religious conversion is soemthing I've been thinking about and have almost no practical knowledge of.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[modest mouse]

Oh. Okay. Haven't done it. Wasn't planning on it. If B and I end up married, then it might be an issue. I think he's more likely to convert than I am, though.

What issues make a conversion by one of you necessary?

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Problem Child]

If you're thinking about Islam, try pm'ing busybody.

I hear he almost has the Qu'ran memorized, cover to cover.

 

[amelia]

my neice was raised a baptist and her husband was raised catholic. neither of them are particularly religious, so when they got married they just got a non denominational guy.

His parents asked her why she didn't convert and her response was..."why doesn't he?"

it's not an issue for them at all.

 

[Epiphany]

Has anyone converted to satisfy a spouse or his/her family?

If so could you relay your experience. Both initially and since you converted.

Thank you in advance.

I converted from Methodist to Greek Orthodox for my EX spouse.

He would never come to church with the me and the kids, and would always say "If you convert to Greek Orthodox, I'll start coming to church with you".

soooo...I went through all the classes, converted and started attending and guess what? He STILL didn't go to church!

But I have to admit, I really like the Greek Orthodox church....and still go from time to time even though we're divorced.

 

[kotori]

My wife was raised Lutheran and I Catholic. Before the kids came, we would sometimes alternate (though not on any regular basis). But there were some things in Lutheranism that I just couldn't wrap my head around, and she felt the same way for Catholicism (all the "hooey" as she said). When the kids came along, we joined an Episcopalian church as a sort of happy medium and eventually both "converted." She still goes, I'm sort of off the whole idea of organised religion.

 

[Phoenyx]

Re: Re: Religious Conversion for Marriage?

I converted from Methodist to Greek Orthodox for my EX spouse.

He would never come to church with the me and the kids, and would always say "If you convert to Greek Orthodox, I'll start coming to church with you".

soooo...I went through all the classes, converted and started attending and guess what? He STILL didn't go to church!

But I have to admit, I really like the Greek Orthodox church....and still go from time to time even though we're divorced.

Techinicaly You converted to the Orthodox Faith.
Teh Greek Part is a language,
the are Russian/ Armenian/English Orthodox all over.

 

[modest mouse]

None actually. But I assume that we would like to bring our children up in one faith or another should we get married. B's a lapsed Catholic, he hasn't been practicing in about ten years-I'm a practicing Hindu. Who knows? We could decide to both convert to Buddhism.

So in order to provide a unified religious following to your children, both of you would convert to a religion neither of you currently beleive?

This is a significant leap in logic for me.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[modest mouse]

CB, I understand. I'm curious and appreciate your candor.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

I would think that religious persuasion would be well discussed and feathered out before the issue of marriage came up in such that it would not need be an issue but maybe thats the evil in me.

It would all be part of the spousal compatability, that courtship and dating are for in my Personal view.

 

[The Heretic]

Has anyone converted to satisfy a spouse or his/her family?

Wouldn't and couldn't do it. My "religion" is an integral part of who I am - if I could change it that easily then it wouldn't be my religion.

To me my religion is a personal comittment between myself and my God - it is not about whether I belong to this church or that sect (I am a Christian, not a Baptist, Lutheran, Catholic, etc.), or go through these rituals or that liturgy, it is part of my core beliefs and you don't change those without changing the person.

I am not saying I couldn't make accomodations, but being "converted"? No. I wouldn't respect someone who asked me to do that, and I wouldn't respect someone who would convert for me.

 

[modest mouse]

On further thought, I've long considered a switch to Buddhism. I had decided that there was little reason to at that point. B is not a fan of organized religion, and Hinduism is a bit overwhelming. Buddhism seems like a logical choice. I don't think B would touch almost any form of Protestantism-and I can only think of one. But any decision would require considerable discussion and research.

But Hinduism is part of your culture, for which you are proud of. Perhaps your children can view it as an extension of the culture that is part of Mom and not as a religion that they need to partake in.

Is it better to present aunited religious front or to expose your children to whatever it is that mom and dad may believe?

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[modest mouse]

I would think that religious persuasion would be well discussed and feathered out before the issue of marriage came up in such that it would not need be an issue but maybe thats the evil in me.

It would all be part of the spousal compatability, that courtship and dating are for in my Personal view.

Todd, yes it would be discussed before the actual marriage but often times it is the marriage that forces the issue or brings it to a head.

Not totally agreeable with your second statement. Yes if two people had religious issues then it would influence their courtship. But religious agreement isnt nevesary for a succesful relationship. I've never been with awomen whos religious beliefs really clicked with mine, though I'm not the king of succesful long term relationships either.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[WaxNWane]

I have a friend who was going through conversion to Catholicism when the engagement (unrelatedly) fell apart. Knowing Catholicism and knowing him, it would've been a horrible match.

Personally, religion or lack thereof is of no consequence in a relationship.

Even if it were important to me, I'd be more impressed with someone who'd stick to their conviction and not convert to please me. If that respect wasn't reciprocated, I'd hit the road.

 

[modest mouse]

Re: Re: Religious Conversion for Marriage?

Wouldn't and couldn't do it. My "religion" is an integral part of who I am - if I could change it that easily then it wouldn't be my religion.

Good point.

To me my religion is a personal comittment between myself and my God - it is not about whether I belong to this church or that sect (I am a Christian, not a Baptist, Lutheran, Catholic, etc.), or go through these rituals or that liturgy, it is part of my core beliefs and you don't change those without changing the person.

'Nother good point.

I am not saying I couldn't make accomodations, but being "converted"? No. I wouldn't respect someone who asked me to do that, and I wouldn't respect someone who would convert for me.

This last part is the way I think I would find myself leaning.

 

[honeylick]

Todd, yes it would be discussed before the actual marriage but often times it is the marriage that forces the issue or brings it to a head.

Not totally agreeable with your second statement. Yes if two people had religious issues then it would influence their courtship. But religious agreement isnt nevesary for a succesful relationship. I've never been with awomen whos religious beliefs really clicked with mine, though I'm not the king of succesful long term relationships either.

i for one think, that if religious harmony is such a high priority for either party, then this in itself would preclude parties of different backgrounds getting together.

if you subscribe to the whole, opposites attract, or love conquers all, then religion really isn't that big of a part of your day-to-day life. and that's ok too.

 

[Guest]