Reflections on what my mom has taught me

[llee69]

My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB  WELL DONE - "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just  finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better  pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm  going to knock you into the middle of next  week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I  said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me  LOGIC...#2 - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught  me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep  crying and I'll give you something to cry  about."

My mother taught me about the science  of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you just look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me how to solve  PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you;  would you listen THEN?"

My mother taught me  about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me about THE  CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you  out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR  MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER -  "It looks as if a tornado swept through your  room."

My mother taught me about ENVY - "There  are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have  wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mother  taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when we get  home!"

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that  way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD - "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good  job."

My Mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me HUMOR - "When that  lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN  ADULT - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about SEX - "How do  you think you got here?"

My Mother taught me  about GENETICS - "You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS - "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about the WISDOM OF AGE - "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

Among all the things my mother taught me, my all time favorite is JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids and I hope they  turn out just like  you!"

 

[LukkyKnight]

Having a mother is a genetic trait. If you don't have one, neither will your kids.

 

[sch00lteacher]

LOL

Thanks for the great post llee69. It got a snicker or two out of me. Need all of them I can get.

http://www.whoohoo.net/images/mad_mom.gif

 

[dean99r]

My Mother taught me about SEX - "How do you think you got here?"
------------------------
damn, I wish my mom had been that open. She told me the stork brought me. I looked like a fool when I found out the truth (thanks to Linda at age 9)

 

[MissTaken]

On a more serious note:

My mother taught me, when faced with a problem, to ask "What is the next step?"

Hence, I learned all I needed to know about social work from dear old mom!


(Well almost)

 

[Ladybird]

My mothers lesson on SEX... don't!

Sorry mum, I messed up again... I DO!!