Redneck's and Poetry!

[Floating Head]

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale Ph.D. candidate and a redneck from Alabama.

They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word.

The word they were given was "Timbuktu."

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:


"Slowly 'cross the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination: Timbuktu."


The crowd went crazy. There was no way the redneck could top that, they thought. However, the redneck calmly took his place on the stage and recited:


"Me and Tim
A-huntin' went.
Met three whores
In a pop-up tent.
They was three
And we was two
So I bucked one,
And Timbuktu."

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Old shit....

Dude! Some advise.... (you don't have to take it but) these folks here have seen all this type of shit, long before you cut and paste it here - don't mean to get down - and don't take this the wrong way - but "originality" - even though there appears to be a grave lack of it here, is the key to having fun. So, dig deep and you'll find it.

Think of Uncle Sam in an shit feast orgy with plastic titted, transvestite Leprechauns, drinkin' piss and howling at the moon on the birth date of Christ our king - no - don't thing of that.

Think of something within you.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Oldy but a goody

Goodie goodie yum yum

 

[Strange Girl]

He who writes on shithouse walls,
Should roll his shit into little balls,
He who reads these lines of wit,
Should eat those little balls of shit.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Ummm!

Gobble, Gobble - yuch!

 

[KillerMuffin]

"Theyre oncet was this gurul namd Ferd. Shee lahked to et kokonutz. An then theyre was this boei namd Joe Billy. An hee lahked Ferd cuz shee lahked to et hiz kokonutz. An then Joe Billy oncet mayd Ferd et hiz kokonutz an shee din lahke that nun! An then Ferd halld off n kikd Joe Billy raht in th kokonutz! Butt Joe Billy dun saed hee was sorry butt Ferd dint hav no mynd 2 fergv Joe Billy nun! An then Ferd's cuzn Bobby Tom Lee cam an hee wontd Ferd to et hiz kokonutz! Butt Ferds momma dun cot em an now Ferd n Bobby Tom dun haf 2 jump th brume ore Ferds pa iz gunna tayk th scattrgun 2 Bobby Tom!"

How is this for original redneck prose?? Some of my finest efforts. I submitted it weeks ago.

Gawd, I hope Laurel puts this on the site!!! Feedback anyone??? It took me three weeks to write this. The plot was convoluted and difficult. I had troubles with segue from one male character to the other, you have no idea how hard it is to introduce a new character while removing the other one. And the language! Finding just the perfect word to fit without repeating myself, was simply brain cramping. Thank god for spell check is all I can say, and grammatik as well. Punctuation can be a beast to rope and ride at times. Comma or semi colon? One doesn't always know! Overall, I think the presentation of the story, touched with the poignant love obviously felt for the heroine, truly brings this story into masterpiece status. I will now accept my Nobel. Am I full of myself or what?

NO!! THIS IS NOT A TRUE STORY!!!! I dint et no kokonutz.

 

[Never]

Never is proud of herself. Never read the following and I think she even understood it. Good Never.
Soooo, what's Coo-coo's knot?