Redefinitions (Fresh Meanings for Stale Words)

[Dillinger]

This is something William Safire does every now and then in his "On Language" column for the New York Times. Every now and then readers send in some "fresh meanings for stale words." I thought this might be a fun game that we can play for ourselves. Bonus points when you manage to work in sexual innuendos.

Here are a few examples from Safire's column:

• grammarian - well-spoken grandmother
• coordinates - a couple of preachers
• ineffable - a guaranteed Grade-A term paper
• warship - adoration of the Navy
• suffragettes - cheerleading squad for de Sade High (this one is an example of a redefinition that would earn you bonus points)
• bashful - being harsh or abusive toward someone
• alphabet - the most aggressive wager on the table (I did this in Vegas)
• chestnut - a male too interested in the female figure (bonus points!!!)
• miniscule - the odds of minuscule being spelled correctly
• kindred - fear of family reunions

And here are a few of my own to get us started:

• innuendo - Rear entry sex (BONUS POINTS!!!)
• politics - lots of creepy blood sucking little bugs that believe in multiple partner marraiges
• computer - someone indulging their fetish for a dull alloy with lead formerly used for domestic utensils
• pronunciation - being in favor of nuns forming their own independent nation
• adoration - love of venomous vipers (you know this one could have a sexual innuendo - I award myself 1/2 the normal bonus points)
• astronomy - Not my ass!

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Safire is interesting......

However......

I find the Times snobbish and wordy. Especially the Arts sections. And it's overly expensive too.

I prefer the NY Post and the Washington Post.

Though all journalists have egos beyond/below and outside of normal.

And Safire, though interesting as I said - is a prime example.

 

[Guest]

Dillinger,

This is fun - thank you.

Flotsam - Someone who decides to float rather than swim.

My brain is pretty much tired for today. I'll try more later. lol

Have a good evening/day/morning, whichever suits your timezone.

 

[Barb Dwyer]

You always have such fun games, Dillinger!

This is an old joke about hillbilly words but some of them fit in with the theme.

Piller: Soft cushion used to rest the head, as in, "I sure am tarred... can you'ns git me another piller for ma' head?" (variation: can also be pronounced as "pilla").

Waffle: Refering to the female spouse, as in "Don't git up, my waffle git a beer for ya!".

Poet: To dispense liquid, as in "Is that moonshine? Just poet in my glass".

Tar: Round rubber object used on an automobile to enable motion, as in "Did you take that old tar off'n your car? Don't thow it out, plant some petunias in it!".

Klumbus: The capital city of Ohio, as in "We're a takin a day trip up to Klumbus to eat at the Red Lobster".

Sensuous: as in, "Sensuous gittin' up anyways, can you refill my moonshine?"

Aints: small insects, as in, "He's got aints in his paints".

Arn: Appliance used for removing wrinkles, as in, "Don't bother me, I've got lots of arnin' to do and ma diet pill's wearin' off!".

Fanger: digits of the hand, as in, "put that rang on ma fanger".

Furred: to be dismissed from employment.

Flar: a member of the flora family, as in, "who sent you them purty flars?".

Hail: the underworld, as in, "You'ns can go to HAIL!".

Oral: a lubricant, as in, "your car needs some oral".

Purdy: attractive, as in, "she's as purdy as a pitcher".

Rah Cheer: here, as in, "sit down Rah Cheer and I'll git you some moonshine".

War: a thin round band of metal, as in, "is that a bobbed war fence?"

Worsh: to cleanse, as in, "It's Saturdee, go worsh yourself off".

Yurp: A continent including France, Spain and Italy.

Nekkid: Without clothes, as in, "She's as neekid as a jay-bird".

Spearmint: What scientists do.

Tal: What you use to dry off after a shower, as in, "You can get pretty candy stripe tals in boxes of Breeze"!

Uhmurkin: Resident of the United States. (Also "Murkin")

Retard: Stopped working, as in "As soon as I git to be 65, I'm a gonna be retard".

Tarnaida: Cyclone, as in "A tarnaida went through that trailer park and left $1 million in improvements."

Phrasin: Cold, as in "It's phrasin out here!"

 

[Dillinger]

Come on people - keep up! Even without the bonus points I'm way ahead...

Crestfallen - When that plume thing falls off a Knight's helmet

Dumbfounded - When that idiot you have to put up with all the time is finally located

 

[lilminx]

Terms of dismissal

An office-worker could be defiled. *bonus points*
.
A botanist could be deflowered. *Bonus points*

A wine merchant could be deported.

A cashier could be distilled.

A neurologist could be unnerved.

A gambler could be discarded.

A prostitute could be delayed. *bonus points*

An investment banker could be distrusted.

A convict could be discriminated.

A cowboy could be deranged.

President Clinton could be prorogued *bonus points*


I got these off of the net- does that mean I don't get bonus points because they're not my original ideas?

 

[Dillinger]

Just happy to have a few people playing the game...

But I am going to have to threaten the rest of you - I will continue to post redefinitions by myself if I have to - and I'll get so far ahead none of the rest of you will have a chance of winning!

 

[Dillinger]

I am so beating all your asses in this game!!!

Message - The last age we made a mess of...

Bulletin - A tin engraving of a large mammal that is not very fond of the color red...

Forum - Losing your train of thought 4 times in a row - "um... that is I mean... um... what I was saying... um... you know ... um..."

 

[Guest]

Hey, I'm really trying, Dillinger. lol

Moron - someone who has More egg On their face than in their mouth.

Overlay - a person (miles, perhaps?) who would rather have a Lay Over a lei anyday. (a joke about his Lay threads) lol

Noncompliance - when you walk into an Appliance store and None of the sales people Come to help you.

 

[Dillinger]

Nincompoop - Anais Nin (a well known Communists) taking a poop

Relief - In the spring when the trees come get their leafs back.

Knowledge - A thorough understanding of ledges.

 

[LukkyKnight]

plume thing? PLUME THING?

Opera bouffe - Italian singing in the nude. (bonus points, right?)

Angelique - What they do in the little angel's room

Oh... I suppose you wanted English, eh? Plume thing?

 

[Dillinger]

OK we've got a few players - but what's the deal with the rest of you? A bunch of wimps I say.

Get your asses in gear and put on those creative thinking hats of yours and post some redefinitions. I'm calling you all out - every last one of you - I expect at least one redefinition for each of you... and some of you... writers... the verbose many threaded posters... the outspoken... I challenge you.

Yeah you... Sparky, PC, Killermuffin, DCL... I expect at least a dozen redefs out of you... and don't give me any excuses. You especially KM - or I'll take your guns away and introduce you to a real weapon!!!

And no fucking sass from you Sparkmeister.

Lavy, Mischka - you ain't getting off the hook. You lawyer types make up words all the time and redefine others to your pleasing. How about giving us a few legal definitions?

And you Siren... Simply Southern... Flamingo Blue - and any other "full-fledged" lawyers out there - you gonna let a couple of bodaciously ta-ta'd law students out redef you?

Bunch of wussies!!!

 

[lilminx]

A few more from me...

Tangent- a man who has been in the sun for a while.

Rectangle- a corner that is messed up.

Geometry- what an acorn says when it's grown up.

 

[Guest]

It's much too early for me yet.....but after one cup of coffee here goes.....Hey....that's another one.......unwind - that's what I was just doing. lol

Unwind - undoing what you have been complaining (whining) about. lol

Palatable- Your best friend eating with you……Pal At Table. (yeah, it's pretty lame…)

Rebuff - when you have to undress all over again.

Irate - when you put yourself above others. (I rate higher than you)

I just added one more.

 

[Kaos_Star]

my turn my turn

i think this one would work:
Disposable--a toy that you take out of a pose.
and maybe:
remove-move something again.
and:
yellowpages--pages of any kind that have been pee'd on.

are those good????

 

[Dillinger]

Barb Dwyer - I'm calling you out, oh sharp-witted one! Your post was funny - but they weren't original - now get off that hot ass of yours (don't worry, all the rest of us guys are getting off on it...) and give us some original redefinitions...

 

[MacCortz]

In the Orient where they eat dogs for stamina in hot weather...

gives new meaning to "Dog Days"

not clever, but true.

 

[Dillinger]

BTW - have to give props here to Kaos-Star, Enchanted, lilminx andLukkyKnight for playing along.

Barb Dwyer gets some props for participating but I still want to see her come up with some original ones...

MacCortz - mmm... OK...

Sparky - I subtract points for being obtuse. However I give them back for following the time honored tradition of hijacking a thread. That still leaves you at ZERO though.

The rest of you are all wimps.

 

[Barb Dwyer]

Calling me out, huh? Does that mean we get to settle this outside? I can take you. I can take you with one arm tied behind my back! *grin*

Alright, here are some originals for you.

• homosexual = prostitute who wants more clients
• booty = What ghosts who are cutting back on coffee drink
• poppycock - what your daddy uses to make your mommy happy
• straightjacket = what heterosexual men wear over dress shirts
• despise = de people who work at de CIA
• paradigm = twenty cents
• paralax = couple of bottles of Metamucil
• dulcet = boring tennis match
• saxophone = kind of sex you had before computers
• zebra = ze undergarment you wish to remove from ze girl
• E-jaculate = the hoped for ending to cyber sex
• daffodill = kooky Lit member with a HUGE cock

 

[pabloback]

This is something William Safire does every now and then in his "On Language" column for the New York Times. Every now and then readers send in some "fresh meanings for stale words." I thought this might be a fun game that we can play for ourselves. Bonus points when you manage to work in sexual innuendos.

Here are a few examples from Safire's column:

• grammarian - old 78 song about breasts
• coordinates - drinking a certain brand of beer while dining with a loved one
• ineffable - beyond profanity
• warship - profanity as spoken by a person with speech impediment
• suffragettes - manhatten football fan reminiscing on better times
• bashful beating yourself up over breaking your diet
• alphabet - slang term for placing 50% of the odds on a sure thing
• chestnut - phallic symbol tattooed on breast OR growth of extra set of reproductive organs on torso by workers in nuclear industry
• miniscule - learning to drive BMW's new british built coupe
• kindred - related to rastafarian samaritan

And here are a few of my own to get us started:

 

[Firesprite]

My turn

Ok - what the man said to Kay during sex

Mouse Pad - sanitary product for female mice

Powder - what violent men do to their wives

scanner - The way he looks at passing pedestrians

dork - someone who pushes a door that says pull (that ones not original)

Original - Someone who only wears clothing from the label Origin

blue - what he begged her to do

cleaner - an oral sex act

assassin - two people who were mooning pulling up their pants

Jacket - what he does when the missus is away

writer - an editor

Midnight - LukkyKnight's navel


ohh that was fun

 

[Dillinger]

Rollercoaster - a mobile version of one of those things that keeps drinks from making those water rings on your coffee table

Strategic - A stratocaster guitar with and eject button

Original - A urinal with an orange slice in it to cut down on odors

 

[Dillinger]

OK - Barb Dwyer rises to the challenge!!!

Let's see how we're doing... and perhaps define a scoring system. A redefinition is worth 1 point. A redefinition with sexual connotations is worth 2 points. BTW - if I scored you wrong - feel free to score yourself/keep your own total. Points only awarded for original material.

• Barb Dwyer - 12 redefinitions. 6 with sexual connotations - total 18 points! And a special commendation for actually working my name into one of her redefs!
• Enchanted - 8 redefinitions. One with sexual connotations - total 9 points.
• lilminx - 14 redefinitions. 4 with sexual connotations - Total 18 points.
• LukkyKnight - 2 redefs, both sexual - total 4 points.
• Kaos_Star - 3 redefs, 3 points.
• Pabloback - Did you actually mean to post something or you just felt like quoting me? Zero points.
• Firesprite - 12 redefs, 5 with sexual connotations - total 17 points.
• Dillinger -17 redefs, 1 1/2 with sexual connotations - total 18 and a half! Which puts me in the lead by 1/2 point...

Lavy, Mischka - what's the problem - not up to a challenge?

Never - I'm calling you out. Show us what you got.

 

[Guest]

These are my attempts at trying to be more sexual so that my scores will soar. LOL!

Cumin - when you scream to your lover that your orgasm is NOW!

Analog - keeping track of everyone's asses. YUCK!

Escalator - when your lover moves up and down on you. (escalate her) lol

Freehand - the hand not being used for self-pleasure. Lol

the reason for the edit was to add one more. And to say Happy Birthday a bit early to Dillinger.

Sublease - when a Master lends his sub to another master.

 

[carrie-on]

Hormone=what a hooker does when you don't pay her
Horticulture=taking a hooker to the theatre